𝗨𝗻𝗵𝗼𝗹𝘆-𝗥𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲 < ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ >

You look at me and see the girl Who lives inside the golden world But don't believe ... That's all there is to see You'll never know the real me She smiles through a thousand tears And harbors adolescent fears She dreams of all That she can never be She wades in insecurity And hides herself inside of me Don't say she takes it all for granted I'm well aware of all I have Don't think that I'm disenchanted Please understand It seems as though I've always been Somebody outside looking in Well here I am For all of them to bleed But they can't take my heart from me And they can't bring me to my knees They'll never know the real me

امروز توی آشپزخانه‌ی ذهنم سه تا کتری همزمان سوت کشیدند؛ یکی مال همسایه ها بود ، یکی مال خانه ، یکی مال خودِ من که یادم رفته بود خاموشش کنم .. آب که هیچ ، بوی کتری سوخته باعث شد تمام عطری را که برای تولدم هدیه گرفته بودم توی آشپزخانه خالی کنم تا بوی سوختگی خفه ام نکند. اما عطر توی هوا حل نشد؛ نشست روی شیشه‌های پنجره ، روی یخچال ، روی مژه‌هایم. حالا هر نفسی که می‌کشم ، بوی تولد سوخته میدهد. کتری‌ها را از روی اجاق برداشتم؛ یکی‌شان هنوز گرم بود ، یکی سرد ، یکی آنقدر داغ که دست کم گرفتم .. نمی‌دانم کدام‌شان مال خودم بود ، کدام‌شان را باید خاموش می‌کردم ، کدام‌شان را همسایه روشن کرده بود بی‌آنکه بداند من توی این آشپزخانه نفس می‌کشم؟ کف آشپزخانه نشستم با سه تا کتری خالی و یک شیشه‌ عطرِ ته‌ کشیده .. و با خودم فکر میکردم: < آیا می‌شود کتریِ سوخته را با یک شیشه عطرِ نو عوض کرد ، یا باید خودم را هم بگذارم توی معامله؟ >

Maybe in another life I could find you there Pulled away before your time I can't deal, it's so unfair And it feels, and it feels like Heaven's so far away And it feels, yeah, it feels like The world has grown cold Now that you've gone away Leaving flowers on your grave To show that I still care Black roses and Hail Mary's Can't bring back what's taken from me I reach to the sky And call out your name And if I could trade, I would And it feels, and it feels like Heaven's so far away And it stings, yeah, it stings now The world is so cold Now that you've gone away Gone away, gone away Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Ooh, yeah, ooh-ooh Gone away And I sing a song Woah, woah I reach to the sky And call out your name Oh, please let me trade, I would And it feels, and it feels like Heaven's so far away And it feels, yeah, it feels like The world has grown cold Now that you've gone away Gone away, gone away Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Ooh, yeah, ooh-ooh Gone away Yeah, ooh-ooh, yeah, ooh-ooh Gone away ....