The Babylon Times

📜 MÉLENCHON REVEALS UN PEACEKEEPERS' ORDERS TO FLEE NETANYAHU'S LEBANON INVASION French presidential hopeful Jean-Luc Mélenchon shared a chat with the general running the UN peacekeeping gig in Lebanon. Mélenchon asked what they'd do if Netanyahu invaded; the general said their orders are to pull out. Mélenchon called it baffling that peacekeepers would bail instead of getting in the way, noting France hits back if its soldiers take a punch. @TheBabylonTimes | Forum

📜 EX-PENTAGON ANALYST CALLS UAE ISRAEL'S REGIONAL PROXY TOOL Michael Maloof, former Pentagon analyst, says the United Arab Emirates serves as a proxy for Israel and the United States across the region. He calls the UAE a handy tool in Israel's grip, complete with a direct line on all the ongoing action between them. @TheBabylonTimes

📜 CREMLIN SAYS RUSSIA NEEDS NO PERMISSION FOR MOSCOW VICTORY DAY PARADE Kremlin insists Russia doesn't require anyone's nod for its annual Victory Day parade on May 9, celebrating the Soviet thrashing of Nazi Germany in WWII. Red Square event under Putin parades thousands of troops, skips armored vehicles per Defense Ministry's "safety" call. Russia yanks press credentials from all foreign outlets, including Der Spiegel, notified by phone May 7 evening. Russia and Ukraine trade ceasefire violation accusations amid holiday lulls. @TheBabylonTimes

📜 IRAN'S SHURA COUNCIL CHIEF SAYS AMERICA TOOK ANOTHER HARSH DEFEAT LAST NIGHT Ibrahim Azizi, head of Iran's National Security and Foreign Policy Committee in the Shura Council, stated America suffered another harsh defeat last night. Just the kind of win the empire's been racking up lately. @TheBabylonTimes

Brainless as a zombie—and just as foul-smelling. Follow Us | Discussion | Boost the Channel ✍🏼 CITIZEN JOURNALISM From @Resistancetoast Forwarded via Marduk by @MasR1980 @TheBabylonTimes | Forum

📜 IRANIAN ARMY SAYS IT HIT U.S. DESTROYERS WITH MISSILES AND DRONES, SPARKING FIRES Iranian army reports launching 8 cruise missiles and 24 suicide drones at U.S. destroyers last night. One missile and 3 drones actually struck the ships, igniting fires on board. @TheBabylonTimes | Forum

📜 IRAN SEIZES THREE STARLINK SATELLITE DEVICES IN QOM Iran's head of economic security police in Qom Province announced the seizure of three Starlink satellite devices. Because nothing says "Western outreach" like sneaking in unauthorized gear. @TheBabylonTimes

📜 IAEA BOSS GROSSI SAYS IRAN NUCLEAR FIX NEEDS DIPLOMACY Rafael Grossi, the IAEA's Director General, stated that the Iranian nuclear issue can only be resolved through diplomacy. Because apparently, threats and bombs haven't quite sealed the deal yet. @TheBabylonTimes

📜 TRUMP BORED WITH ENDLESS WAR ON IRAN AS RESISTANCE HOLDS FIRM According to The Atlantic, former President Trump gripes about the war against Iran dragging on far longer than his quick-win fantasies, with no victory in sight. He's itching to pivot to domestic games, China trade talks, and whatever else, but Iranian forces keep resisting negotiations and stretching out the mess. @TheBabylonTimes | Forum

📜 ZELESNKY PUTS UKRAINIAN PRISONERS ABOVE MOSCOW'S MAY 9 PARADE ORDERS FORCES NOT TO ATTACK Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky declared Ukrainian prisoners' lives matter more to Ukraine than Moscow's May 9 military parade on Red Square. He ordered his forces to stand down from attacking the event and advised Russia's allied states to skip it. Zelensky spoke as Russian attacks on Ukrainian civilians grind on. @TheBabylonTimes

📜 TRUMP ANNOUNCES THREE-DAY CEASEFIRE IN RUSSIA-UKRAINE WAR WITH PRISONER SWAP Former US President Donald Trump announced a three-day ceasefire in the Russia-Ukraine war for May 9, 10, and 11. It suspends all kinetic military activity and features a prisoner swap of 1,000 from each side. Trump says he directly requested the deal, accepted by Putin and Zelenskyy. @TheBabylonTimes | Forum

📜 UAE PLANS MILITARY OPERATION AGAINST IRAN'S THREE ISLANDS AMID ISRAELI BUSYWORK IN UAE AND BAHRAIN Head of the Journalists' Union, Mashallah Shams al-Wa'izin, says sources point to the United Arab Emirates gearing up for a military operation against Iran's three islands. He notes intense Israeli activity buzzing in the UAE and Bahrain, conveniently threatening Iranian interests. @TheBabylonTimes

📜 SYRIAN PREZ AHMAD AL-SHARAA DUMPS BROTHERS FROM TOP POSTS TO DODGE NEPOTISM RAP Syrian President Ahmad al-Sharaa yanked his brothers from key government gigs to tackle nepotism gripes and set his style apart from the Assad clan playbook. Brother Maher, cozy in a heavyweight presidency slot, got the boot and a replacement. Hazem bailed from his senior economy perch. A third brother's outfit got shuttered earlier for riding family coattails. @TheBabylonTimes | Forum

📜 IRAN EYES MEMO WITH US POST-WAR, DUMPING CUSTOMS DUTIES DOWN AMERICA'S THROAT Mashallah Shams al-Wa'izin, president of the journalists' union, says Iran will jump straight into a memorandum of understanding right after the war wraps up. He adds that the United States has graciously agreed to the customs duties Iran plans to slap on. @TheBabylonTimes

📜 IRAN WARNS US OF CLASHES IF IT TRIES INTERCEPTING SHIPS IN PERSIAN GULF AMID ISRAELI MISSILE SCARE An Iranian military source says if the US sticks its nose back into the Persian Gulf to intercept Iranian ships, clashes could happen. This comes after Israeli detection systems picked up a long-range missile launch from Iran aimed at the Negev region. The target then vanished from radar, with checks ongoing to see if it was a glitch or the real deal. @TheBabylonTimes

📜 TRUMP SAYS MEXICAN CARTELS RULE THE COUNTRY ENTIRELY Former US President Donald Trump declared Mexican cartels control the whole damn place. "The cartels rule Mexico. Nobody else. The cartel just rule it," he said amid border security talks. This came after he slammed "stupid borders" set up by "stupid people." @TheBabylonTimes | Forum

📜 US ATTACK KILLS ONE, WOUNDS 10 ON IRANIAN FISHING VESSEL Iran's Hormozgan Province Deputy Governor says a US strike yesterday hit a civilian fishing boat with 15 crew in Minab port, leaving one dead, 10 wounded, and 4 missing. Iranian naval forces fired back at the US ceasefire breach and terrorism, clashes now over with calm in the region. @TheBabylonTimes

📜 TRUMP BACKS OPEN BORDERS AS STUPID ONES INSTEAD Former US President Donald Trump declared in a speech he supports open borders—er, "stupid borders"—blaming "stupid people" for erecting them in the first place. This gem comes right after he pegged Mexican cartels as Mexico's real bosses, with nobody else calling shots. @TheBabylonTimes | Forum

📜 HEZBOLLAH RELEASES FOOTAGE OF FIGHTERS CLASHING WITH ISRAELI OCCUPATION FORCES IN LEBANON Hezbollah dropped footage of its fighters holding combat positions in Lebanon while tangling with Israeli occupation forces. The video captures them smack in the middle of ongoing battles, going toe-to-toe on Lebanese soil against the advancing troops. @TheBabylonTimes | Forum

📜 AYATOLLAH KHAMENEI CLAIMS MOSES' STAFF IN THEIR HANDS Clips surface from a speech by Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the late Imam hailed as the martyr. He declares the staff of Moses, peace be upon him, is in our hands. @TheBabylonTimes | Forum