malacled

stay safe out there, but also bold of them to assume I'd email my founder instead of just....texting her? at least they did their due diligence on her, I suppose 😭😭

I may or may not have overexerted myself today, and unfortunately I'm a big believer that quality goes down with higher quantity but just now my last meeting person said they feel like I genuinely care (spoiler: I do) and they can tell I love working on this and it just idec if they were glazing at this point let me be happy n tired

I always overthink everything. a friend reminded me recently: sometimes, half-assing is the most radical act of productivity. I come to the same conclusion a hundred times over. it still hurts a little to release the imperfect, the drafty, the all-over-the-place mess, but mayhaps that’s literally the whole point. so here it is, a half-baked thought, imperfectly polished, technically unfinished, and sent into the void anyway: https://malacledmusings.substack.com/p/everyone-is-replaceable-notes-on

I’m sure many of you have heard about the tragedy at Brown University. One of the two students who was killed was an Uzbek freshman, MukhammadAziz Umurzokov. I’m forwarding a fundraiser to support his family with expenses. Any support or sharing is greatly appreciated 🙏 https://gofund.me/360c53a86

that fate may await me but my sails have yet to face the wind

happy birthday, opoqijon. you don’t remember me now, but I still talk to you about everything. half because it comforts me, half because I know my secrets are safe in the gentle fog your mind has wandered into. people say we die twice: once when life leaves the body, and once when we’re thought about for the last time. I hold onto you so stubbornly, that second part may as well never come. and this weekend, of all weekends, I’m speedrunning a prototype of a dementia smart house. timing has a sense of humor. it’s strange to be building something for people losing their memories while watching the man who once joked about my cow conversations slip gently away from his own stories, surrounded by family celebrating the significance of a date he can no longer place. maybe it’s just my way of keeping you close, holding the quiet that lingered long after your words. happy birthday, grandpa. I’m still here. and I guess that'll have to be enough for both of us.

Yayyyyy🥳

one of my students just got into uPenn via questbridge. couldn’t be more proud of her, @Abdurashidova_Madina18 hope you shine just as brightly at penn as you do in our meetings :)

MY DREAM SCHOOL

I AM OFFICIALLY CLASS OF 2030!!!!!

https://malacledmusings.substack.com/p/the-microdose-mind-notes-on-being I spent way too much time on this for it to be so all over the place, but ah well. had to get the concept out, at least.

been a bit off socials today update: my brother scored a 1560 on the SAT proof that sibling nagging+prep is an unbeatable academic strategy (never doing ts again, he’s on his own for APs) I did 100% get emotional and cry but we don’t talk about that

@valeranotes x @paiziev24

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me or whatever she said

to lock you in the asylum?

Testing the threads of reality to see how far they unravel

если опаздывать на пару, только так eternal thanks to the russian grandma at my local pool who treats cardio like it’s a Lermontov novel: half punishment, half proof of being alive. (also, pro tip: don't swim on a twisted ankle. feels like an ethical experiment in pain—sartre would’ve approved.)

EDs are more or less over so now I get to stress over my brother’s SAT prep, job interviews, and midterms #doNotBecomeAnAdultTheFreedomIsAFrontForTorture