Sage (t1/2)

Yes i do believe its not for me I can’t handle another disappointment Its hard to explain but you can just take my word for it

I crave it so much, i’m still human with feelings But i just can’t

Not interested I have only been in two relationships, last one ended last November after 3 years together I am not fit to love or be loved because of my emotional instability, i am self aware enough to know that my condition doesn’t allow me to experience love in a healthy manner

I can’t help but cringe at myself whenever i have lustful thoughts although they’re completely normal

Same sometimes

- الرساله ؛ I personally choose lust as my preferred deadly sin

Envy

Not me Your actual close friends Im not close with any of you here Tell them you love them and mean it when you do

Tell your friends you love them

Im not saying all of this so you can send me supportive or sweet messages on the channel bot I dont want anything Im just dumping shit

Its 10 years too late for that

I don’t want help, i dont want nice words, and lord knows i had enough of tips and tricks to better your mental health

Be decent or leave me the fuck alone

Bottom line

Only when my illness envelops me and I impulsively take my own life on a random Wednesday, suddenly it will dawn that it was never really a competition It was me clinging to life until my last nail breaks And up until i became an adult, everyone else either judged me or just stood and watched

The problem is projection People compare their current situation to mine, if a condition is brought up, suddenly its a competition of who suffered more, they want to prove they suffered more than me so so bad They start resorting to being hateful or trolling, they probably think its justified for them because they were sad once too And god forbid someone goes through something worse, that doesn’t exist, only they went through hell and back

Not taking the magnitude of what i’m going through seriously is what bothers me the most Withdrawal are hitting me so hard i had to use an inhaler yesterday because of how slow my breathing was getting, i had to take two Xanax pills for the panic attacks i was getting And you see me using the inhaler and barely walking And you decide to haggle تشوفني هيج وتفكر خلي اعاملة علة الف دينار

اذا اني صارلي عشر ساعات واكف علة رجلية ومبين علية والإرهاق شنو من دماغ عندك يكلك خوش فكرة انو تكعد تستفزني وتسوي نفسك متسمع من اكلك سعر الدوة ومن افهمك استخدامة عود دتشاقة ومن تشوفني ما اضحك وياك تكلي لتضوج دنشاقة وياك شنو الصعب بانو ياما تنلصم وتنجب لو تصير ادمي؟ رح اخذ منك فلوس زايدة اذا صرت بشر؟