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Sisters, pay attention!
Some women show respect to their own husbands, yet encourage you to disrespect and rebel against yours. Why?
So that they remain the only "good wife," while you're counted among the bad ones!
This advice comes from life experience — I go lie for you?
(ie why would I lie to you?)
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "Whoever incites a woman against her husband or a slave against his master is not one of us."
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم: "لَيْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ خَبَّبَ امْرَأَةً عَلَى زَوْجِهَا، أَوْ عَبْدًا عَلَى سَيِّدِهِ".
Abu Dawud: 2175, authenticated by Shaykh Al-Albani.
"Responsible" husbands no plenty like that o!
t.me/Insightful_Couples
whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbB7MBUDp2Q4elmF2U3t
| 2 | So he went to one of the trees and brought him a pomegranate from it. He broke it open and found that it was sour. His master became angry with him and said: ‘I ask you for something sweet, and you bring me something sour! Bring me something sweet.’
So he went and picked one from another tree. When he broke it open, he found that it was also sour. His anger against him intensified.
He did the same thing a third time. He tasted it and found that it was also sour. After that, his master said to him: ‘You do not know the difference between sweet and sour?’
He replied: ‘No.’
He said: ‘And how is that?’
He replied: ‘Because I have never eaten any of them so that I would know.’
He said: ‘Then why did you not eat them?’
He replied: ‘Because you did not give me permission to eat from them.’
The owner of the orchard was amazed by this. He investigated the matter and found that it was indeed true. So Mubaarak became greatly esteemed in his eyes, and his standing with him increased.
The man had a daughter whom many people had proposed to marry. So he said to him: ‘O Mubaarak, whom do you think should marry this daughter?’
He replied: ‘The people of the Jaahiliyyah (pre-Islamic ignorance) used to marry based upon lineage; the Jews [used to marry] based upon wealth; the Christians [used to marry] based upon beauty; and this Ummah [marries] based upon Deen.’
His intelligence impressed the man, so he went and informed the girl’s mother. He said to her: ‘I do not see a husband for this girl other than Mubaarak.’
So he married her to him. Then he brought ‘Abdullaah ibn Al-Mubaarak into the world, and the blessing of his father was completed through him, and Allaah caused him to grow as a beautiful and righteous growth.”
Index
t.me/Insightful_Couples/12
whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbB7MBUDp2Q4elmF2U3t | 355 |
| 3 | The Warmth of Emotions in Marital Life
Author: Shaykh Abu Abdillāh Fayṣal Al-Ḥāshidī - May Allaah preserve him.
The Qualities of a Righteous Husband
1. That he be a man of Religion (Piety)
It is upon the woman’s wali (guardian) to select for her a righteous man who is known for his righteousness.
Allaah — Glorified and Exalted is He — says:
وَأَنكِحُوا الْأَيَامَىٰ مِنكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ
“And marry those among you who are single, and the Salihun (pious, righteous persons) among your male slaves and maid-servants.”
Surah An-Noor (Chapter 24), Ayah 32.
He should not concern himself with the man’s poverty when he possesses righteousness and Taqwaa (piety), because Allaah — Glorified and Exalted is He — says:
إِن يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ
“If they are poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ need, All-Knowing.”
Surah An-Noor (Chapter 24), Ayah 32.
Likewise, the people of Taqwaa and righteousness should be asked and consulted regarding the matter of marriage, just as Faatimah bint Qays did when Mu‘aawiyah, Abu Jahm, and Usaamah ibn Zayd proposed to her. The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said to her:
أَمَّا مُعَاوِيَةُ فَرَجُلٌ تَرِبٌ(1) لَا مَالَ لَهُ، وَأَمَّا أَبُو جَهْمٍ فَرَجُلٌ ضَرَّابٌ لِلنِّسَاءِ، وَلَكِنْ أُسَامَةُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ
“As for Mu‘aawiyah, he is a man who is destitute and has no wealth. As for Abu Jahm, he is a man who strikes women. Rather, [I advise you to marry] Usaamah ibn Zayd.”
[Muslim 1480]
(1) Tarib (تَرِبٌ) — on the pattern of farih: poor.
She then gestured with her hand in this manner, saying: “Usaamah! Usaamah!” The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said to her:
طَاعَةُ اللَّهِ، وَطَاعَةُ رَسُولِهِ خَيْرٌ لَكِ
“Obedience to Allaah and obedience to His Messenger are better for you.”
She said: “So I married him, and I was delighted with him.” (1) Muslim 1480
Imaam An-Nawawi — may Allaah have mercy upon him — said:
“As for his ﷺ advising her to marry Usaamah, it was because he knew of his Deen (religious commitment), his virtue, the excellence of his conduct, and the nobility of his character, so he advised her to marry him. She disliked him because he was a mawla (freed slave) and because he was extremely dark-skinned. So the Prophet ﷺ repeated his encouragement to her to marry him, because he knew the benefit that lay for her in doing so—and it was indeed as he said.” (Sharh Muslim 3/694)
Therefore, one should be keen to seek a man who possesses Deen, even if he is poor, because wealth is liable to disappear. How many wealthy people have become poor, and how many poor people have become wealthy between the blink of an eye and its reopening!
The poor man does not know when his wealth will come...
And the wealthy man does not know when he will become destitute. (3)
By Allaah, how excellent was the statement of Imaam Ahmad ibn Hanbal — may Allaah have mercy upon him — when he was asked:
“A poor man who possesses Wara‘ (pious scrupulousness) proposes marriage to a man’s daughter, while another man possesses wealth but does not possess Wara‘. Which of them would you prefer that he marry her to?”
He replied: “He should marry her to the poor man who possesses Wara‘. That is better for her and more beloved to me (1). Nothing can be equated with righteousness.”
Footnotes:
(1) Among what is appropriate to mention in this regard is the marriage of Mubaarak, the father of Imaam ‘Abdullaah ibn Al-Mubaarak — may Allaah have mercy upon him — as mentioned in Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (6/228):
“Mubaarak — may Allaah have mercy upon him — was a Turkish man and was a slave belonging to a Khwaarizmi merchant. He was a pious and righteous man, abundant in worship, fond of seclusion, and extremely scrupulous in his Wara‘.
Among the accounts related about him is that he used to work in an orchard belonging to his master. He remained there for some time. Then, one day, his master—the owner of the orchard—came to him and said:
‘I want some sweet pomegranates.’ | 313 |
| 4 |  t.me/ummuhayaa
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| 5 |  t.me/Insightful_Couples
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| 6 | ◾️Knowledge Is What Makes 'Ibaadah (Worship) Correct◾️
بســـم اللــه الرحــمــن الـرحـــيــم
📤 Benefit from the Shaykh Abu Ibraaheem Muhammad Ibnu Maani 'Al-Aanisi - may Allaah preserve him:
Knowledge Is What Makes 'Ibaadah (Worship) Correct or Valid
1 - Al-Qurtubi said, commenting on the saying of Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic:
فَخَلَفَ مِنْ بَعْدِهِمْ خَلْفٌ أَضَاعُوا الصَّلَاةَ وَاتَّبَعُوا الشَّهَوَاتِ
“Then there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As-Salaah (the prayers) [i.e., made their Salaah (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts.” — Surah Maryam (19:59).
"By the life of Allaah, one may indeed witness in reality a person who is pointed to [as a person of knowledge] and thought to possess 'ilm (knowledge), and is honored as such — yet in truth he pecks at his prayer like the pecking of a rooster [i.e., prays hastily and without tranquility], due to his ignorance of the hadeeth. So how, then, is the case with the ignorant masses who know nothing at all?" (1)
2 - Qaadi 'Iyaad said, in his commentary on the hadeeth of al-musee' salaatah (the man who prayed badly):
"In it is [evidence] that the deeds of the ignorant person, performed in worship without knowledge, are not accepted [i.e. do not suffice/has not discharged the obligation]." (2)
3 - Al-Khateeb al-Baghdaadi commented on the statement of ar-Rabee' ibn Khaytham: "Attain fiqh (understanding of the religion), then withdraw [into seclusionn in worship]." He said: "[This is] because 'ibaadah (worship) is not valid except after tafaqquh (attaining understanding of the religion)." (3)
Footnotes
(1) Al-Jaami' li-Ahkaam al-Qur'aan (6/114), Daar al-Hadeeth edition.
(2) Al-Fath (2/360), Daar as-Salaam edition.
(3) Al-Faqeeh wal-Mutafaqqih (p. 111).
A benefit: this is corroborated from the Sunnah by the statement of the Prophet ﷺ:
عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ: مَنْ عَمِلَ عَمَلًا لَيْسَ عَلَيْهِ أَمْرُنَا فَهُوَ رَدٌّ
"Whoever does a deed which is not in accordance with our affair [i.e. our religion] will have it rejected."
[Muslim 1718]:
Translated by :
Abu Juwayriyah Nūruddīn ibn Sulaymān
_
Source
https://t.me/sheikhmuhammadbinmanieng/7 | 708 |
| 7 |  The Completion of Blessings
t.me/ummuhayaa/1869
whatsapp.com/channel/0029Va9bGOY4inorAzrDRP2W | 585 |
| 8 | Not Every Title Reflects Reality
Al-Haafizh Ibn Hajar mentioned in Al-Isaabah fee Tamyeez al-Sahaabah that:
The wife of the Companion Talhah ibn 'Ubayd Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) was nicknamed "Al-Jarbaa'" (the Scabby One), despite being among the most beautiful women of her era, to the extent that it was said: "No woman stands beside her except that she appears unsightly"—owing to the extraordinary beauty with which she was favored. She had no scabies, nor was there any flaw in her character; rather, this title simply stuck to her until she became famous by it.
In this lies a lesson demonstrating that titles and the judgments of people are not always a reflection of reality. For how many a virtuous person has been belittled, how many a benefactor has been mistreated, and how many a possessor of blessings has been envied!
Therefore, do not prioritize the view of the people over your own self-knowledge, and the ignorance of the people concerning you will not harm you if you know within yourself that you are upon the Haqq (truth) and Istiqaamah (uprightness).
Faysal Al-Haashidee
Translated by
Abu Juwayriyah Nūruddīn Al-Idi An-Nijiriy
t.me/AwfIbnMaalikIsaamicLibrary/977
whatsapp.com/channel/0029VaAjKSJ4dTnLj4gaxv3V
#Miscellaneous_Benefits | 606 |
| 9 | عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عُمَرَ: قال قال رسول الله ﷺ: وَأَحَبُّ الْأَعْمَالِ إِلَى اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ سُرُورٌ يُدْخِلُهُ عَلَى مُسْلِمٍ.
الألباني، السلسلة الصحيحة (٩٠٦) أخرجه الطبراني في ((المعجم الأوسط)) (٦٠٢٦)، وأبو الشيخ في ((التوبيخ والتنبيه)) (٩٧) باختلاف يسير.
'Abdullaah ibn 'Umar narrated that the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said:
The most beloved of deeds to Allaah, Mighty and Majestic, is a joy that you bring to a Muslim.
Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth as-Saheeha (906)]: graded by Shaykh Al-Albani as Saheeha (authentic). Reported by At-Tabaraani in Al-Mu'jam al-Awsat (6026), and Abu Al-Shaykh in Al-Tawbeekh wa Al-Tanbeeh (97) with a slight variation.
t.me/Insightful_Couples
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| 10 | 📢CLASS TODAY STARTS AT 7pm UK! (not 8)
note: we ask the Tulab for patience during the lessons as Ustadh is in Yemen and sometimes the internet connection dips | 166 |
| 11 |  📢New Class Announcement
🗓️Starting Sunday 12th July
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| 12 | «يَا عِبَادِي، إِنَّكُمْ تُخْطِئُونَ بِاللَّيْلِ وَالنَّهَارِ، وَأَنَا أَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا، فَاسْتَغْفِرُونِي أَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ»
"O My servants, you commit sins by night and by day, and I forgive all sins. So seek My forgiveness, and I will forgive you."
(Saheeh Muslim, no. 2577)
The distinguishing mark of a righteous person is therefore not that he never errs, but that he possesses the humility to acknowledge his mistakes, repent sincerely, seek forgiveness from those he has wronged, and strive to reform himself. Persistent refusal to acknowledge wrongdoing is not a sign of strength; it is a sign of a diseased heart.
Healthy people make mistakes. They apologise, reflect, and grow. Those entrenched in narcissistic patterns, however, often repeat the same harmful behaviours because admitting fault feels more unbearable than continuing the behaviour itself.
It is for this reason that entitlement and the absence of accountability remain among the clearest indicators of narcissism. They are not merely isolated flaws but the roots from which many other destructive behaviours emerge.
As observed:
«"The foundation of every sin is pride, desire, and envy."»
Entitlement is nourished by pride, while the refusal to accept accountability is sustained by arrogance. When these qualities become deeply rooted, they poison relationships, harden the heart, distance a person from sincere repentance, and, if left unchecked, may ultimately lead to one's ruin in this life and the Hereafter.
May Allaah purify our hearts from pride, grant us humility to accept the truth, and make us among those who hasten to repent whenever they fall short.
t.me/Insightful_Couples
whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbB7MBUDp2Q4elmF2U3t | 641 |
| 13 | Entitlement and Lack of Accountability: The Two Defining Hallmarks of Narcissism
When discussing narcissism, people often focus on confidence, arrogance, or a desire for attention. While these traits may be present, they do not, by themselves, define narcissism. Rather, narcissism is a constellation of behaviours and attitudes that revolve around an inflated sense of self coupled with a deeply fragile inner world.
Among its many characteristics are low or inconsistent empathy, grandiosity, arrogance, an excessive need for admiration, preoccupation with status and appearances, hypersensitivity to criticism, and intense anger whenever expectations are frustrated. Beneath this outward display, however, often lies profound insecurity, a fragile ego, and deeply rooted shame.
If one were asked to identify the two most consistent hallmarks of narcissism, they would be entitlement and a lack of accountability.
Entitlement is the trunk from which many narcissistic behaviours grow. It manifests as an expectation of special treatment, the belief that rules apply to everyone else but not to oneself, and a habitual disregard for the rights and boundaries of others.
The entitled individual assumes the right to intrude, interrupt, demand, criticise, or control without considering the impact of such behaviour. Their mindset is often: I can do as I please. You should simply accept it. Whether justified by their position as a spouse, parent, employer, or friend, they view their role as a licence to override healthy boundaries. The feelings and experiences of others become secondary to their own desires.
Entitlement is not merely a social flaw; it is also a spiritual disease. It springs from an exaggerated view of oneself and a diminished regard for the rights of others. This is the very disease that destroyed Iblees. When Allaah commanded him to prostrate to Aadam عليه السلام, he arrogantly refused, saying:
«﴿أَنَا خَيْرٌ مِّنْهُ﴾
"I am better than him." (Soorah Al-A'raaf 7:12)»
His sense of superiority gave birth to arrogance, disobedience, and rejection of the command of Allaah. Entitlement often follows the same path: believing oneself deserving of privileges that others are not, while disregarding the limits set by Allaah and the rights of His creation.
The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ defined arrogance with remarkable precision:
««الْكِبْرُ بَطَرُ الْحَقِّ وَغَمْطُ النَّاسِ»
"Arrogance is rejecting the truth and looking down upon people."
(Saheeh Muslim)»
These two qualities frequently appear together in narcissistic behaviour: a refusal to accept the truth when confronted with one's faults, and a tendency to belittle, dismiss, or devalue others.
Closely tied to entitlement is the profound absence of accountability.
Perhaps nothing exposes narcissism more clearly than the inability to acknowledge genuine wrongdoing. Rather than admitting fault, the narcissistic individual instinctively shifts blame, offers excuses, minimises the harm, denies reality, or even portrays themselves as the true victim.
True accountability requires the humility to say:
"I was wrong. I understand that my actions hurt you. I have no excuse. I am genuinely sorry, and I will strive to change."
For the narcissistic individual, such words are extraordinarily difficult because admitting fault threatens the carefully constructed image they strive to protect. Preserving that image becomes more important than repairing the relationship.
By contrast, the believer constantly holds himself to account before he is called to account by Allaah. He recognises his shortcomings, seeks forgiveness, and strives to rectify his mistakes rather than defend them.
'Umar ibn al-Khattaab رضي الله عنه said:
«حاسِبُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ قَبْلَ أَنْ تُحَاسَبُوا، وَزِنُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ قَبْلَ أَنْ تُوزَنُوا.»
«"Take yourselves to account before you are taken to account, and weigh yourselves before you are weighed."»
Likewise, the Prophet ﷺ said: | 457 |
| 14 |  The Speech of the People of Knowledge Regarding the Raafidhah
Shaykh Abu Ibraaheem Muhammad Ibnu Maani 'Al-Aanisi - may Allaah preserve him
Read
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| 15 | Every harsh word. Every unfounded accusation. Every sarcastic jab. Every avoidable argument. Every act of stubbornness. Each one is not neutral—it is a withdrawal from the very account you claim to be depositing into. You cannot build reconciliation with one hand while dismantling and shattering it with the other, and still call the result progress.
If you truly want reconciliation, your words must carry it, your actions must embody it, and your sacrifices must authenticate it. Otherwise it remains what it has always been: a claim on the tongue, contradicted by the very tongue that makes it.
So before concluding that the other person doesn't want reconciliation, turn the mirror on yourself first, and ask the harder question:
Have my own words, attitudes, and actions actually reflected a sincere desire for reconciliation—or only lip service to one?
Allaah says:
﴿وَإِنِ ٱمۡرَأَةٌ خَافَتۡ مِنۢ بَعۡلِهَا نُشُوزًا أَوۡ إِعۡرَاضࣰا فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَیۡهِمَاۤ أَن یُصۡلِحَا بَیۡنَهُمَا صُلۡحࣰاۚ وَٱلصُّلۡحُ خَیۡرࣱۗ وَأُحۡضِرَتِ ٱلۡأَنفُسُ ٱلشُّحَّۚ وَإِن تُحۡسِنُوا۟ وَتَتَّقُوا۟ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ بِمَا تَعۡمَلُونَ خَبِیرࣰا﴾
"And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves; and making peace is better. And human souls are swayed by greed. But if you do good and keep away from evil, verily, Allaah is Ever Well-Acquainted with what you do."
[Sūrah An-Nisāʾ: 128]
Notice what Allaah names as the true obstacle to peace: not merely anger, not merely pride, but shuḥḥ—an inner greed, a stinginess of the soul that refuses to yield even a fraction of what it feels entitled to. This is the real battlefield. Long before reconciliation is negotiated between two people, it must first be won within one person—against the self that wants to keep every right, concede no ground, and be the only party that never has to bend.
If you do not fight your own greed, reconciliation was never realistic to begin with.
May Allaah rectify our affairs, purify our hearts, grant us sincerity in seeking reconciliation, and make our words and our deeds bear witness to the truth of our intentions.
t.me/Insightful_Couples
whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbB7MBUDp2Q4elmF2U3t | 1 149 |
| 16 | Reconciliation is Good
Part 2: The Reality of Reconciliation
بســـم اللــه الرحــمــن الـرحـــيــم
In the previous article, we established a foundational principle: reconciliation cannot occur unless both parties genuinely desire it.
But this raises a sharper question:
What does it actually mean to desire reconciliation?
Is it enough to utter the words "I want reconciliation" or "I want peace"?
No. Not even close.
Reconciliation is a verb, not a sentiment.
It is not enough to declare a desire for peace while your words, attitudes, and actions labour, day and night, to sabotage it. A tongue that confesses reconciliation while a life contradicts it has not reconciled anything—it has merely performed the vocabulary of reconciliation.
A sincere desire for reconciliation demands sacrifice. This is one of its most forgotten foundations.
You must be willing to step outside your comfort zone. If there are permissible habits or personal preferences your spouse, brother, or sister finds distasteful—and abandoning them involves no disobedience to Allaah—then let them go for the sake of harmony. If there are efforts, however small, that you know would deepen love and trust, then make them. If there are disputes over matters that are neither obligatory nor beneficial, then starve them of your attention.
Sometimes reconciliation costs you your pride. Sometimes it costs you a preference. Sometimes it means apologising even when your ego bleeds, listening before your tongue is ready to speak, or surrendering something perfectly lawful because the relationship is worth more than your right to it.
Reconciliation is not sustained by intention. It is sustained by repetition.
In the same vein, abandon speech that wounds—especially speech rooted in assumption, exaggeration, or claims you cannot actually substantiate.
Abū Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ once asked his Companions:
«"Do you know what backbiting is?"»
They replied: "Allaah and His Messenger know best." He said:
«"It is saying of your brother that which he dislikes."»
Someone asked: "What if what I say is actually true of him?" He ﷺ replied:
«"If what you say is true of him, you have backbitten him. And if it is not true, you have slandered him."»
[Muslim: 2589]
Here is a question worth sitting with, taken directly from the logic of this ḥadīth:
Ghībah (backbiting) is mentioning of your brother what he actually has of bad character. Buhtān (slander) is mentioning of him what he does not have. The Prophet ﷺ drew this entire distinction around a single shared condition: both are said in his absence.
So what, then, do we call it when the very same words—true or false, deserved or fabricated—are delivered not behind his back, but directly to his face?
Sit with that. Absence was never what made ghībah and buhtān sinful in the first place. What made them sinful was the content: the cruelty, the exposure, the falsehood. Say the exact same thing to his face, and you have not purified the sin—you have simply added the audacity of confrontation on top of the original crime. You have not found a loophole in the ruling. You have upgraded the injury.
Consider, for example, watching a brother fall ill with your own eyes—not suspecting it, not hearing of it secondhand, but seeing it—and still saying to him:
«"Why are you always sick? Why do you want to use it to gain sympathy?"»
Subḥān Allaah.
Do you genuinely believe that a brother or sister known for their sincerity in dīn would manufacture illness for sympathy, or perform suffering for attention? If the answer is no—and it almost always is—then why speak to them in a way that interrogates their integrity, maximizes their pain, and stacks emotional injury atop physical hardship, all while the evidence of their suffering sits plainly in front of your own eyes?
This is only one illustration. The principle stretches far wider than illness or sympathy. | 935 |
| 17 | Reconciliation is Good
Part 1: The Forgotten Condition of Reconciliation
Conflict resolution is a discipline every believer—brother and sister alike—must learn, refine, and practice across a lifetime.
But before that discipline can even be applied, one question must be settled first, whether the conflict is marital or fraternal:
Does the other party actually want reconciliation?
If the answer is no, then a PhD in conflict resolution and a résumé of successful mediations will avail you nothing. Reconciliation is not a solo art. It is not something you can perform on someone. It requires two willing hearts, not one determined one.
This is precisely why Allaah said:
«﴿إِن يُرِيدَآ إِصۡلَٰحٗا يُوَفِّقِ ٱللَّهُ بَيۡنَهُمَآۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرٗا﴾
"If they both desire reconciliation, Allaah will bring about harmony between them. Indeed, Allaah is Ever All-Knowing, All-Aware."
[Sūrah An-Nisāʾ: 35]»
Sit with the precision of this āyah. Allaah did not say "if one of them desires reconciliation." He said both. This is not incidental phrasing—it is a legislative principle embedded in grammar. Reconciliation, in the Qur'ānic worldview, is not a unilateral achievement; it is a mutual covenant. One party may initiate it, labour for it, even beg for it—but the transaction cannot close without two signatures.
So stop exhausting yourself explaining yourself to someone who has already stopped listening. As the Nigerian saying goes: "No go explain tire for person wey no send you again."
If your spouse, brother, or sister sincerely no longer desires to remain with you, let them leave with their dignity intact—and yours. Clinging to someone who has already exited emotionally does not read as love; it reads as captivity. And Allaah's earth is vast enough that no one is owed a cage.
Pursue reconciliation past its expiry date, and you don't get more closeness—you get more violations of Allaah's limits, more resentment, and more territory ceded to Shayṭān, who thrives precisely in the space between two people who refuse to let go and refuse to hold on.
Do not deceive yourself into thinking that a houseful of children, decades of shared history, or even a lifetime of companionship can manufacture a desire that has died in the other person's heart. If they have cast you as the villain of their story, no eloquence of yours will rewrite that role.
Know when to strive. Know when to release.
Do not let yourself become the instrument by which Shayṭān prolongs hostility, manufactures torment, and drags two people further from the obedience that was the entire point of the relationship in the first place.
Allaah says:
«﴿وَمَن يُطِعِ ٱللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُۥ وَيَخۡشَ ٱللَّهَ وَيَتَّقۡهِ فَأُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلۡفَآئِزُونَ﴾
"And whosoever obeys Allaah and His Messenger, fears Allaah, and keeps his duty to Him, then it is they who are the successful."
[Sūrah An-Nūr: 52]»
But this raises a second, sharper question:
What if someone claims to want reconciliation?
Is the sentence "I want peace" itself sufficient?
Not even close.
A tongue can confess reconciliation while a life's conduct actively sabotages it. Words are cheap currency; consistency is the only valid tender. True reconciliation is not measured by declaration alone—it is measured by demonstration together with the former.
That, inshā' Allaah, is where Part 2 begins: The Reality of Reconciliation.
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| 18 |  What the right spouse would do for you
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| 19 | What the right spouse would do for you
The right spouse won’t rescue you from life’s difficulties, but will walk beside you through them.
#Insightful_Seekers
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| 20 | 📢New Class Announcement
🗓️Starting Sunday 12th July | 1 |
