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Usually, we think things are easy, or at least lighter, when we're outside of them. You imagine something from a distance and it somehow feels simple. But war is not simple. Even a little bit of violence can scare you out of your life.
Hearing a gunshot can make your whole body go cold in a way that is different from any coldness you've known. And when you experience that enough times, you start to normalize it. Not because you believe you're going to be fine, but because that's just what humans do. We adapt to things we never thought we could live with.
Then the gunshots, the people dying, the gang rape, all of it becomes part of the background. And suddenly you're worrying about what you're going to eat. How will you stretch the half injera you ate today and the piece of bread you saved from last night? How are you supposed to make injera when everything is closed and you didn't prepare for any of this? There's no machine that turns your teff into flour. Electricity is a luxury; apparently you can live one or two years without it. Water? What is that? The market? The merchants?
It's strange how quickly survival becomes your whole world. Things you never thought you'd have to worry about become the only things you can think about.
And the innocent people? They're dying too. And sometimes others act as if their lives don't matter: "Aren't they living in the countryside?"
Ngll I'm worried. The worst part is feeling like there's nothing I can actually do about it. So I just worry, and then pretend everything is going to be alright.
I really hope things will be alright this time. I don't know if your family is in a place where they might experience any of this, but I genuinely hope they don't. ክፋ አይንካቸው
I'm writing this out of emotion. I just needed to get it out.
