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my safe haven 🤍

my safe haven 🤍

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brain fog final boss.

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i can keep going.

may his hairline recede faster this year and he goes bald, and may his gf of idk how many years falls out of love with him cause he's already difficult to look at.

my brain just developed. why should i hold on to this misery when it was him that's being a piece of shit? (my co worker) let him be a piece of shit on his own. i hope he trips tonight and loses his front teeth.

Retroactive jealousy will be the death of me.

I wished my mom never met my dad, even if that means I do not exist. At least she gets the happiness and gets to live her twenties she wanted.

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Went to the beach with the loml

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Sushi tastes like rubber on my tongue. I am numb again. The person who used to make me feel alive is also the person who makes me feel dead inside again.

Who knew the person that makes me the happiest is also the person who makes me relapse. Such a funny way.

The feeling of my presence as a blessing instead of a chore. A chore to take care of my feelings, my needs and my wants. Is that all I am? A mere chore, a to do list.

I hate the feeling of having to beg. I don’t beg for love. Because I can give it to myself freely and constantly. I am my own best friend, I never say no to things that I want because she grew up accepting her needs are too much. But that could not be farther the the truth cause she was just asking from a wrong person.

It feels easy, almost natural for a stranger to give me affection. I don’t feel like I’m difficult to love because I know who I am. I know what I have to offer, I have a lot to offer.

I got 2 nasi katok from this small stall near my house to eat for dinner before my second job. Just to feel the warmth of a “mother’s cooking”. I got 2 cause maybe I can feel twice the love from a mere stranger.

Cooking is a basic skill a human MUST have. It’s not something only a woman should do. What year are we in right now?! Tf 😭🙏🏼

Cause what do you mean cause I can cook, I am now worthy to be called as someone’s wife? Don’t play with me right now.

Growth is realising being labelled “wifey material” as an insult.

Also got nasi padang!!

Worth it though cause I do not have the energy to wash my hair these days.