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Hegel’s dialectic of master and slave describes the battle for life and death. The party who emerges as master does not fear death. The desire for freedom, recognition, and sovereignty raises the master above concern for bare life. It is fear of dying that induces the future slave to subordinate himself to the Other. Preferring servitude to the threat of death, the slave clings to bare life. Physical superiority does not determine the outcome of the struggle. Instead, what proves decisive is the “ability to die,” or a capacity for death. Those who do not have freedom unto death (Freiheit zum Tod) do not risk their life. Instead of “following through to the point of death” (mit sich selbst bis auf den Tod zu gehen), they remain “standing alone within death” (an sich selbst innerhalb des Todes stehen). The slave does not venture as far as death, and therefore becomes a vassal who labors.

— The Agony of Eros

The performance principle that dominates all spheres of life today also encompasses love and sexuality. Thus, the heroine of the bestselling novel Fifty Shades of Grey is surprised when her partner construes their relationship as “a job offer. It has set hours, a job description, and a rather harsh grievance procedure.” The performance principle cannot accommodate the negativity of excess and transgression.

Today, love is being positivized into a formula for enjoyment. Above all, love is supposed to generate pleasant feelings. It no longer represents plot, narration, or drama — only inconsequential emotion and arousal. It is free from the negativity of injury, assault, or crashing. To fall (in love) would already be too negative.

David and Goliath, By Caravaggio

Ana de Armas

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— The Agony of Eros

Today, more and more, dignity, decency, and propriety —matters of maintaining distance— are disappearing. That is, the ability to experience the Other in terms of his or her otherness is being lost. By means of social media, we seek to bring the Other as near as possible, to close any distance between ourselves and him or her, to create proximity. But this does not mean that we have more of the Other; instead, we are making the Other disappear. Nearness is negative insofar as remoteness is inscribed within it. But now, a total abolition of remoteness is underway. This does not produce nearness so much as it abolishes it. Instead of closeness, it entails crowding.

When the Other is perceived as a sexual object, “primal distance” (Urdistanz) erodes. Primal distance brings forth the transcendental dignity and propriety that frees —that is, distances— the Other into his or her otherness.

Today, love is being positivized into sexuality, and, by the same token, subjected to a commandment to perform. Sex means achievement and performance. And sexiness represents capital to be increased. The body —with its display value— has become a commodity. At the same time, the Other is being sexualized into an object for procuring arousal. When otherness is stripped from the Other, one cannot love — one can only consume. To this extent, the Other is no longer a person; instead, he or she has been fragmented into sexual part-objects.

Me and my fav follower

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أمّا الهوى، فهو على النقيض، إذ يقودُ المرءَ بعيدًا عن جحيم النرجسية. وهو يدفعُ الفردَ بإرادته للتخلي عن الذات، وإخلاءِ الذات. فتتملَّكُ الفردَ المُحِب حالةٌ من الضعف مصحوبةٌ بشعورٍ بالقوة. هذا الشعورُ ليسَ إنجازًا للأنا، بل هديةً من الآخر.

إنّ الهوى¹ والاكتئابَ نقيضان. فالهوى ينتَزِع الفردَ مِن الأنا (الذات)، إلى الهو (الآخر). نقيضُه هو الاكتئاب إذ يغمُرُ الفردَ بأعماقِ الأنا. يسعى "الفَرد المُنتِج²" في مجتمعِ اليومِ النرجسي إلى النجاح أكثر من أيّ شيءٍ آخر. فالحصول على النجاح يبرّر وجودَ الأنا مِن خلالِ الآخر. بهذا فإنّ الآخر يُجرَّد مِن وجوده المنفصل ويستحيلُ مرآةً للأنا—مرآةً تعكس صورةَ الذات. إنّ مَنطِقَ الشُهرة هذا يوقِعُ الفرد المُنتِج أكثر في شَرَكِ الأنا. وما ينتج عنه هو نجاحٌ مكلَّلٌ بالاكتئاب: فالفردُ المنتِج المكتئِب يغرق ويختنق في الذات. ¹أقرب مرادفٍ عربي لكلمة Eros اليونانية التي تعني الحب بين الرجل والمرأة ببُعديه العاطفي والجسدي. ²ترجمة مصطلح achievement-subject.