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“This is the worst I've been since I've been home, tried to quit, been a week, need a quick pull, this is the worst I've been since I've been old, stealing bottles from the basement, hard to recreate the way I felt when I was seventeen, I'll keep trying if it kills me, baby, suburbia feels the same as it used to, park the bike, wipe the sweat, what's it come to? I'm facing the summer of my senior, all the bridges I crossed are burned, I'll be honest, I wasn't perfect, I'll be honest, you weren't either, I draw my line in the sand, the sand, coming from a high on the first of July, I couldn't read your mind, I couldn't read your mind, haven't thought for a while, really can't deny that I think about the time, I think about the time, I crossed your mind, I crossed your mind, I crossed your mind.”
“Sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking when I said, I'd like to smash every tooth in your head, sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking when I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed, and now I know how joan of arc felt, now I know how joan of arc felt, as the flames rose to her roman nose, and her walkman started to melt, bigmouth, bigmouth, bigmouth strikes again, and I've got no right to take my place with the human race, bigmouth, bigmouth, bigmouth strikes again, and I've got no right to take my place with the human race, and now I know how joan of arc felt, now I know how joan of arc felt, as the flames rose to her roman nose, and her hearing aid started to melt, bigmouth, bigmouth, bigmouth strikes again, and I've got no right to take my place with the human race, bigmouth, bigmouth, bigmouth strikes again, and I've got no right to take my place with the human race, bigmouth, bigmouth, bigmouth strikes again, and I've got no right to take my place with the human race, bigmouth, bigmouth, bigmouth strikes again, and I've got no right to take my place with the human race.”
توی پیش گفتار کلی چاسر، شخصیت مادر روحانی یا راهبهٔ دنیای کنتربری تیلز رو ساده، فروتن و در تبسم باحیا توصیف می‌کنه که توی پاورق کتاب راجع بهش نوشته خندیدن برای راهبه‌ها مکروه بود و مقررات و عرف صومعه‌ها ایجاب می‌کرد که راهبه‌ها خنده‌ی خود رو مهار کنند و در صورت خندیدن این کارشان بی‌صدا باشد. سرکلاس زیاد درباره ویژگی‌های چاسر که اون رو از نویسنده‌های هم دوره‌اش جدا می‌کنه صحبت کردیم و چاسر در کنار هوش و ذکاوت تیزی که داشته انسانیت و درک بالایی هم داشته. خیلی دوست‌اش دارم.
“Ther was also a nonne, a prioresse, that of hir smylyng was ful symple and coy; hire gretteste ooth was but by seinte loy; and she was cleped madame Eglentyne.”
— The Canterbury Tales, by Geoffrey Chaucer
“Threading, the glacier head, looking hard for moments of shine from twilight to twilight, aurora, goddess sparkle, shoot me beyond this suffer, the need is great, aurora, aurora, goddess sparkle, a mountain shade suggests your shape, I tumbled down, on my knees, fill the mouth with snow, the way it melts, I wish to melt into you, aurora, spark the sun off, spark the sun off, spark the sun off, spark the sun off, spark the sun off, spark the sun off, spark the sun off for me.”
even though i've shown how much I struggle with this kind of behavior, people keep doing the very things that make me feel annoying and insecure. so all I'm left with is questioning the whole relationship from beginning to end. there's nothing more innocent than someone who's so discombobulated that they're desperately trying to figure out whether their so-called friends hate them or not.
i've always believed that you are your friends. no one can really be that different from the people they choose to surround themselves with. if you didn't have anything in common with them, or if you didn't approve of the way they are, you probably wouldn't be friends with them, right?
and if someone has shitty friends, does that mean they're a shitty person themselves? because i've always thought of them as someone very sweet and precious, but their friends clearly hate my guts, and they're also very pretentious and judgmental. does that mean this friend of mine is a shitty person as well?
so i'm trying to wrap my head around something i've been struggling with for quite a while now. if someone treats you as if you're a freaking dirtbag but continues to hang out with you, even though they've made it clear that you're not their priority when it comes to friendships, does that mean they actually want to be friends with you, or do they hate your guts?
“You killed your european son, you spit on those under twenty-one, but now your blue car's gone, you better say so long, hey, hey, bye, bye, bye, you made your wallpapers green, you want to make love to the scene, your european son is gone, you'd better say so long, your clown's bid you goodbye.”
