Basic Fucking Kindness

abuse, trauma, impostor syndrome, parenting "what people dont understand about abusive parents what people dont understand about abusive parents is that we cant always hate them. we cant just constantly hate them because a lot of them are quite nice half the time it makes it hard to hate them because its like "they've been horrible to me but they treated me to a present yesterday or a cute little chocolate bar so i'd me rude to hate them because of what the've done for me" and its destroys your mind because then people questions if they actually are abusive when you seem to like them at that time"

socialization "thinking about how good friendship is... like two people just like each other... and choose over and over to spend time with each other"

language, mental health, depression "honestly the best thing i've done in the past year was replacing "i wanna die" with "i wanna commit a crime." same humor and sentiment without the suicidal ideation"

unscheduled post: an admin's friend is having economic issues, namely that their current job does not pay enough to afford medication and post-surgery extra costs (on top of the regular rent, electricity, insurance, phone/internet expenses). this post is an extraordinary promotion of that, so that people here can chime and help with it always remember to only give what you dont need and never give any amount of money that could have an impact on your own life. at this point, literally any amount helps thank you https://ko-fi.com/aleixsamael everyone here is welcome to share this post with whoever they consider appropriate

socialization, discrimination, minorities "i want to debate this with you i do not want to debate that"

[tags?] "you can be angry about things but still make the conscious decision not to be cruel. when we remind each other to be kind, we're not saying dont be mad. theres a lot of stuff to be mad about right now. but you can still be a kind and patient person. you dont have to be mean to other people. you can choose"

socialization, boundaries "if you cant handle me at my worst then you sure as hell deserve a break from me. my emotions are not ur responsability, and i understand that u need to care for ur own mental health, & if i threaten its stability, theres no need to feel guilty. i know u did ur best"

socialization, anxiety "they may not be avoiding you"

parenting "i never want my kids to mess up and think "dads gonna kill me!" i want their first thought to be "i need to call my dad" "

self compassion, healing "re-parenting yourself re-victimizing yourself"

healing, growth, trauma "its okay if you thought you were over it but it hits you all over again. its okay to fall apart even after you thought you had it under control you are not weak. healing is messy. and there is no timeline for healing."

self compassion, trauma "self gaslighting sounds like:"

society "not disabled enough right amount of disabled too disabled"

socialization, boundaries "friend oh psh its fine you do you. i trust your choices true friend inhale gurl."

relationships "idk who needs to hear this but trying to collect as many partners as you can with no regard for your ability to give enough time and energy to your current partners is not a healthy approach to polyamory"

self compassion "kurt vonnegut wrote: "when i was 15, i spent a month working on an archeological dig. i was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kind of "getting to know you" questions you ask young people: do you play sports? what is your favorite subject? and i told him, no i dont play any sports. i do theater, im in choir, i play the violin and piano, i used to take art classes. and he went wow. thats amazing! and i said, "ob no, but im not any good at any of them." and he said something then that i will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: "i dont think being good at things is the point of doing them. i think you've got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all theaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them." "

society "calm down edgelords, the whole point of society is that its not survival of the fittest. literally the point is that we're leveraging our collective strenghts to lead to better outcomes for everyone. we've been doing it for a couple thousand years now the survival strategy our species dumped all its points in is cooperation and community"

socialization, relationships, self compassion "in therapy my therapist in i were talking about my own feelings of self worth in relationships. and she asked me to say qualities about myself that someone else would be attracted to. so i named some things like compassionate, empathetic, etc. and she said "you named things you can give someone. ways you can serve, rather than ways that you are" "

self compassion, rest " "all that matters is that u tried ur best" me *instantly flashes back to every moment i procrastinated and wasted* [...] you cant work at full throttle 100% of the time [...] time off isnt an indulgence, its a necessity"

healing, trauma, impostor syndrome "it just occurred to me that many people are actually afraid to heal because their entire identity is centered around the trauma they've experienced. they have no idea who they are outside of trauma & that unknown can be terrifying"