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[ እንዳንድ ነገሮች ስለድብርት፣ ራስን ስለማጥፋት ምናምን...] (በጣም ረዘመብኝ እና በቃ እንደ series ፊልም በኢፒሶድ ከፋፈልኩት... ካልሰነፋችሁ አንብቡት፤ ባታነቡትም I don't mind) - 1- ሰው ሲሞት እንደአንድ ጤነኛ ሰው አዝናለሁ። ግን ለምን እንደኹ እንጃ በተለይ ወጣት ሰው ራሱን አጥፍቶ ሲሞት ይበልጥ ያሳዝነኛል። That really bothers me! ለምን? ምን ቢያጋጥመው ነው እስከሞት ያስጨከነው? ተራ curiosity ይሁን የመርዳት ፍላጎት ለይቼ ባላውቅም! ፨ ደግነቱ በትንሹም ቢሆን አውቀዋለሁ፤ ያው ጦርነት እያመሳት ባለች ድሃ ሀገር እንደሚኖር ፣ በግሉም ብዙ ትግሎች እንዳሉበት አንድ ወጣት እኩያዬ ምን ሊሰማው እንደሚችል በትንሹም ቢሆን አውቀዋለሁ። ፨ የሆነ አንድ የተለመደው ዓይነት ቀን ጠዋት ወደክላስ እየሄድኩ እያለ ነው ድንገት መድከሜ የገባኝ - There was something different about me. ማለቴ ከዚያም በፊት I've been struggling for years ምናምን እኮ...I know all those ኮንፊደንስ የማጣት፣ inferiority፣ Overthinking፣ anxiety፣ feeling down and depression ሺትስ... ግን በቃ ያ ቀን ነው የሆነ ነገሬ seriously እንደተሰበረ የገባኝ... አለ አይደል this Yonathan is totally a different one ምናምን ያልኩት። መተንፈስ ደክሟችሁ ያውቃል? That literally happened to me... ማለት ትንፋሽ አጠረኝ ምናምን ሳይሆን literally መተንፈስ ስራ ሆነብኝ... "እንዲያው ምን ቢያታክት ሀሞቱን ቢያፈሰው መተንፈስ ይደክመዋል ወይ ሰው?" ... የምትል ግጥም ሁላ ፃፍኩ 😅 ማለቴ ብዙ የድካም አይነት አውቃለሁ ያኔ ይሰማኝ የነበረው ድካም ግን የተለየ ነው። That day I realized በሕይወት ያወጣችኋት እያንዳንዷ አቅም በኋላ እንደምትቀናነስ ... አለ አይደል ቀላል ናት ብላችሁ ያሳለፋችኋት እያንዳንዷ ጠጠር የምታህል ችግር ኋላ ከቢጤዎቿ ጋር ተሰብስባ ቋጥኝ ሆና መምጣቷ አይቀርም። ግን ከሁሉ በላይ የሚጎዳው ምን እንደሆነ ታውቃላችሁ? PRETENDING!! Since I was that "perfect" kid ሰዎች ለኔ የሣሉትን አይነት ሥዕል ለመሆን መፍጨርጨር ነበረብኝ ...fake it till you make it እንዲሉ። በዛ ላይ ችግሬን ከማውራት ይልቅ ውስጤ መያዝ የምመርጥ ሰው ነኝ። እና በሳቅና ሂውመር የተሸፈኑ ብዙ ሕመሞች የሆነ ቀን ሰብሰብ ብለው ይመጡና ድጌ ቀና እንዳትል አድርገው ያደቁሀል። I knew I can't be the old me... I felt like I lost my passions, dreams and all. Oh man! That time was though! I was literally drained off... idk if I'm explaining it well or exaggerating it. ከብዙ ነገር ሸሸሁ... Even from my fellowship! And I was a leader there... ግን በቃ ስልኬን አጥፍቼ ጠፋሁ... ክላስም ድሮም ድሮ ነኝ እንኳን እንዲህ ሆኜ 😂 እና በቃ የሚታየኝ ቤቴ ነበር...that's the only place i feel safe (still 😁) ድብብቆሽ በሉት... በተለይ ልክ የዛሬ ዓመት አካባቢ It was hell... ጊቢ ተጀመረ፣ GC የመሆን ጭንቀት ተጨመረበት፣ ከዚያ final project የምንሰራበት group አጣሁ፣ ያበደ ጨጓራዬ ተነሳብኝ ምናምን፣ plus some family cases...በቃ በትክክል function እያደረኩ እንዳልሆነ ገባኝ... ስልኬን ዘጋሁ። እና የሆነ ቀን በር ብቻዬን ቤት ተኝቼ እያለ በር ተንኳኳ እና ስከፍት it was my friend from ጊቢ (ከ5 ኪሎ ቃሊቲ ድረስ መጣ 😅) እና ብዙ አወራን ምናምን... ግን እውነት ከወሬው በላይ knowing that የሆነ ሰው ለኔ ተጨንቆ ቤቴ ድረስ ሊፈልገኝ እንደመጣ ማሰቡ ብቻ በጣም ብርታት ሰጠኝ! እንዲህ አይነት ሰዎች ይብዙልን!! የሆነ ጊዜ I tried counselling ምናምን። ማለቴ ለእኔ አይነት prideful ሰው "I need help" ብሎ መሄድ ትልቅ courage ይጠይቃል... sadly በቃ አለ አይደል ከአንድ ቀን አነቃቂ ምክር የበለጠ ብዙም አላገኘሁም... What I needed was a good mentor to whom I could be accountable for ምናምን ግን ያው ነገሮች እንደፈለጋችሁት አይሄዱም አይደል? ብቻ ምን ልላችሁ ነው - ሁላችንም በብዙ ነገር ውስጥ እናልፋለን። Painless life isn't promised! ብቻ ለመበርታት እንታገል እንጂ! ፨ How I dealt with that time? What helped me? ማንበብ - ያን ያህልም አንባቢ ባልሆንም ጥቂት enjoy ከማደርጋቸው ነገሮች አንዱ ማንበብ ነው። At least it helped me to escape from the pain of reality for moments. People - oh my beloved friends! ተገናኝተን፣ roast ተደራርገን እና excessively ስቀን፣ ሲደብረን አውርተን፣ ወክ አድርገን መለያየት is therapeutic! ሌላው ነገር perfectionist'ነቴን ከላዬ ገፍፌ ለመጣል ሞከርኩ። ማለቴ ማስመሰል የለብኝም ብዬ ወሰንኩ። የሌለ ግብዝ ነበርኩ! እና Intentionally ራሴን በጽሑፎቼ ምናምን vulnerable ማድረግ ጀመርኩ። ማለቃቀስ ጀመርኩ! ጽሑፎችን suicidal ናቸው እስክባል ድረስ ውስጤ ያለውን የቆየ ሀሳብ ማውጣት ጀመርኩ። And that really helped me. እና ግጥም መጻፍ isn't luxury for me! It's kinda a painkiller! And ማልቀስ? You have no idea how that helps! አለ አይደል ሁዲ ለብሶ፣ በጨለማ ሙዚቃ እየሰሙ እያለቀሱ ወክ ማድረግ... ain't that dramatic? 😂😂 Yeah try it - it's beautiful! ፨ Yet still it's freaking hard!! መኖር የሚያስጠላበት ጊዜ አለ፣ out of no where ቅልብሽ የሚልበት ጊዜ አለ፣ ማሰብ የሚያቅትበት ጊዜ አለ፣ ሰው ማየት የሚያስጠላበት ጊዜ አለ፣ ከአልጋ መውረድ የሚከብድበት ጊዜ አለ፣ እልም ያለ ገጠር ሄዶ ከሰው ርቆ መክረም የሚያሰኝበት ጊዜ አለ፣ ሞት የሚናፍቅበት ጊዜ አለ፣ ተስፋ የሚጠፋበት ጊዜ አለ Yet all this ሺት is not above us and this shall pass too!! እና አሁንም ቢሆን በእኔ በኩል የመሞት እቅድ የለኝም 😅 ለነገሩ የምንም ነገር እቅድ የለኝም! ምንም ባይኖር ወደፊት ስለማነባቸው መጽሐፍት፣ ስለማያቸው ቆንጆ ቲያትሮች፣ ስለማሳልፋቸው heavenly moments እና ስለማገኛቸው ፀዴ ሰዎች ስል እኖራለሁ። እና እናንተም የመሞት እቅድ አይኑራችሁ! እየታገሉ መኖር ይሻላል አይደል? ከሞት ምንም አይገኝም አይደል? እና ያው ኤልያስ እንዳለው ነው... "ኑር ባታምንም ላንተ ባይመስልም ለከንቱ አልተፈጠርክም" Cheers for the coming years we struggle together 🍻 ...

Med school caused me emotional, physical n mental damage...idk it's been traumatic since the beginning. I'm at Gondar university away from home addis...that alone was hard for me. Premed was hard but idk it's kinda better at least all i had to do was memorize the books n handouts....but medical year my God! As an introverted person with self diagnosed ADHD it's my imagined hell! The constant interaction with ppl from many direction...i literally suffer everyday! N my grades really took a hit. But thank God i pushed through all of it n i'm at my 3rd month of internship.....i've had 1 panic attack 2 psychiatric vists cause of insomnia....but still sane all glory to God! Only 9 months left to go!!! N the way they just don't care abt us at all horrifies me n makes me realize i hv to take care of myself cause they don't give a damn! Our friend recently was admitted to the ICU after she attempted suicide overdosed....she is a known Bipolar 2 patient on follow up at our hospital but still they put her under the same pressure....worked 36 hrs straight 3 times a week as us all. Thank God she survived but still they're changing nothing! Bcha geta sewro yawtagn kezi መአት enji kebad new yihe life😭

Being insensitive. Due to a lot of exposure, I feel Numb when it comes to illness. Its all in the books... why it happened(Risk), how you will be healed(Treatment), what ur illness will leave you with(Prognosis), and what to expect in the future(Sequel) Death can be predictable at times, and Life goes on.

Med school generally feels like hell. The seniors discouraging words are the worst thing for me. But through time you become desensitized that’s the good thing which makes you keep the journey. Plus the stress induced disease ruin my life too.

Got diagnosied with a Chronic disease (IBD) And the decision of AC board on my case.

The toughest part of my medical life is...the rude face of the seniors ...the attitude for private studentss.... i am sick of itttttt..... I am a student in one of medical private schools

* Inner crisis and self doubt * Anxiety & depression

My worst med school experience... It was right after classes began post COVID and everything was tumbling down...my relationships with people were at their worst. I felt a weight on my chest everywhere i went and i couldnt study. Ironically i had a final coming up and it got closer and closer and i didnt get any better at life ig. I still remember the week before the exam, i felt like i was being cornered and crushed into a wall bit by bit. It was horrid 😓 i learned that no matter what youre going through, med school doesnt care. Its merciless, kind of, and u are expected to perform optimally at all times. But thank God i got through that, and here I am several finals later and persevering 😁

Med students are the topic today, pretend my dm is a safe space and you don’t know me. What’s the worst/ most traumatic experience you’ve had in medical school? @DebbieTesfaye

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11 He took the people I loved so much, to teach me he was the only one I should give that much of my heart to. He stayed quiet when I was so close to losing my battles, so I would cry out to him more and for him to have more of him. He delayed the answer to my prayer for years, to teach me patience and faith. He put me in so much pain I thought I couldn’t handle, to make a survivor out of me. I love that I don’t see my brokenness when I’m with him, but the version of myself he painted. I love that he loves me, no matter the years I count on this earth I will always be a child he treasures.

Being blessed enough to speak to someone’s soul እንዴት መታደል ነው? I love how her words bring me so much comfort🖤

Happy new year fam🖤