Daily basics

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my girlfriend has more facial hair than me

Hatred is a poison that we consume thinking that some other person will be tortured by it. Hatred develops from the wound that comes from betrayal, humiliation, injustice, and loss and transforms the pain into identity. Initially, it appears as power for those who are hurt. In addition, they get something to be angry about and fight for. People are able to bear their anger better than their grief because anger brings them some strength. However, the feeling of hatred never stays in the place it appeared. The one who spends too much time looking at something that he hates starts resembling it. His thoughts and memories will be filled with his resentment. His happiness will be dependent on the failure of another person. He stops wondering "What kind of a person I want to become" and asks "How I can make him pay for everything?" This is the way the hatred destroys a human being – little by little. Initially, it seizes his attention, then his peace of mind and his ability to trust. Later on, the moments that have nothing to do with the initial wound will be connected to it psychologically. The person can experience a completely new chapter of his life being mentally trapped in the old one. And the most cynical thing is that the person who is hated will not even know it or he may not care anymore. However, the process goes on. People sometimes think that to remember resentment means to keep the link to justice but there is a big difference between these two things. One can understand that something has happened but it does not mean that everything else should be dictated by it. There is something special about the process of hatred. Someone becomes the villain, his humanity and complexity disappear. All his actions become proof for the story that we have made. When we reduce a person to the enemy, our cruelty becomes justified. Then the demands for sacrifices start coming. For example, we spend our sleep to take revenge that may never happen. We lose our connections because everyone becomes hard to trust. We give up the present moment to return to the past. We damage our own character saying that we punish someone else. The question starts being scary: "If the person who hurt me would disappear tomorrow, would I know who I am without my hatred to him?" This is the point when we understand the biggest deception of the hatred. We thought we kept it belonging to another person but in fact, we had kept it to ourselves. Maybe freedom means not ignoring the wound but not turning it into identity.One can remember without reliving.He can condemn without being cruel. One can seek the justice without being the worshipper of revenge. Because hatred guarantees that destruction of another person will bring salvation to us.However, sometimes the only one who suffers from it is a human being himself.

The feeling of love is a poison not because it ruins everyone who experiences it, but because it makes us believe that our happiness depends on someone else's presence. First, it seems to be a blessing. We get used to relying on others' attention, their presence, and, finally, their words. However, later we start feeling afraid of losing the freedom of enjoying things we have. We get attached. We start feeling scared of being left alone. Their silence becomes pain for us, and their absence is experienced as a lack of something we used to have before. Maybe love does not turn into a poison by itself; maybe we do it ourselves while hoping that something could be eternal. We hope for permanence, for someone else's guarantees that they will stay together with us forever, for the unchanged nature of feelings and relations between us. Nothing is eternal and permanent. People change, circumstances change, feelings change. However, asking an eternity from something mortal turns love into the cause of our sufferings. But still, it would be unfair to consider love as completely useless. A poison may be dangerous, but it does not mean that it is meaningless. Maybe, the only thing that needs to be understood is that one should not give everything to someone else.

Those who mediatok💀👌

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Is this aura chat

oh wow

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Dear diary, I hate my life and myself more than anything else in this world. There have been moments when I've felt that, from the moment I was born, I've been carrying an unanswerable question: Why am I here? When I look at myself, I find myself wondering how I've turned into a stranger to myself. I search in myself for something to love about me, and find just defects and regrets and memories I wish I could erase, and a future that looks like a disappearing road. May be, one of the worst forms of loneliness is to be with yourself and not being able to bear it. Having lived such a long time wishing and craving attention and love and approval from other people, I have forgotten to ask myself if I can show any of these to myself. I needed someone to tell me that I matter because my life depended on someone's validation. And once they're gone or don't look my way anymore, I have considered that as proof of how worthless I am. May be this has been the lie I have been living all along. Maybe I don't hate life itself. Maybe I hate my perception of it. Maybe the thing I need to destroy is not myself, but the self image I have built through the years telling myself that I'm not worth anything. Maybe I just don't know to love myself.