IELTS Writing Samples

Written by Pourvali

Topic: These days, the young women show no tendencies to get officially married. What are the causes and what can be done? In our present era, women have no inclination to get married, which has turned to a contentious issue among psychologists. From my perspective, there are a plethora of reasons for this social problem, two of which are clarified below then some solutions will be introduced. Perhaps the most significant impetus for the young ladies' showing no interest in marital bonds originates from their financial independence. Since females were not easily allowed to be recruited in a wide range of occupations decades ago, they were totally dependent on their husbands' financial support,motivating them to marry a man. However, in recent years thanks to the human rights- activists, females are provided with the same occupational rights as males. Therefore, like men,they can be employedin a variety of organisations. This equality has led to their financial independence in life. For example, many years ago, ladies were not allowed to be employed as a judge, but now we can see women judges in my country Iran. Consequently, they do not show any inclination to get married. Moreover, the liberty movement of women should be considered as the next incentive motivating females to avoid getting married. This movement in quite a few advanced countries like Germany, Japan, France and so forth has granted women a lot of freedom. So they are provided with the same social welfare and pensions the same as their male counterparts are. Therefore, they do not like to live under the surveillance of males. However, l personally believe that there are always solutions to any problems. First, the government can apply some rewarding strategies to encourage women to get married. For instance, the government can announce that,if the young ladies constitute a family through official marriage, they will be provided with free accommodation. Moreover, some educational programs should be shown on television in this regard. The single ladies should be made aware that lack of marriage can lead to the aged population in the near future. Then not only will their country encounter lack of workforce, but also there will no young people to defend their country against the invaders. To summarize what has already been discussed, there are a wide range of reasons for females' refraining from getting married. The main reasons have been been elucidated above. On the other hand, the government can take some measures like granting some privileges to the women who get married as well as making them aware of the negative repercussions of remaining single all their life.

🎯 نمره کلی (IELTS Writing Task 2) Overall Band: 8.0 – 8.5 ⸻ 📘 تفکیک بر اساس معیارهای رسمی آیلتس 1️⃣ Task Response: 8.5 ✔ موضوع کاملاً پوشش داده شده. ✔ موضع از ابتدا تا انتها واضح و سازگار است. ✔ هر پاراگراف یک ایده اصلی و توضیح منطقی دارد. ✔ مثال‌ها مرتبط و طبیعی هستند (به‌ویژه مثال‌های «Saudi Arabia» و «working in mines»). 🔹 تنها نکته‌ی کوچک: می‌توانست در نتیجه‌گیری نهایی یک جمله‌ی قوی‌تر درباره‌ی rehabilitation vs punishment اضافه شود تا عمق فکری بیشتر نشان دهد (برای 9.0). ⸻ 2️⃣ Coherence & Cohesion: 8.0 ✔ ساختار منطقی دارد: Introduction → 2 body paragraphs → clear conclusion. ✔ پاراگراف‌ها با هم ارتباط روانی دارند. ✔ استفاده‌ی درست از linkerها: Therefore, Moreover, Furthermore, Consequently, For example 🔹 نکته‌ی جزئی: بعضی جاها جمله‌ها خیلی به هم فشرده‌اند؛ اگر یکی دو جمله کوتاه‌تر می‌بود، readability بهتر می‌شد. ⸻ 3️⃣ Lexical Resource: 8.5 ✔ واژگان متنوع، دقیق و آکادمیک: deterrent effect, perpetrate an offense, paupers, inmates, capital punishment, proportional to the severity rate ✔ اصطلاحات طبیعی و دقیق برای سطح C1–C2. 🔹 یک یا دو collocation غیرطبیعی خفیف (مثلاً “the rate of criminals will decrease” → باید باشد “the crime rate will decrease”). 🔹 ولی این خیلی جزئی است و نمره را پایین نمی‌آورد. ⸻ 4️⃣ Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 8.0 ✔ ساختارهای پیچیده و متنوع دارد (شرطی‌ها، وابسته‌ها، عبارت‌های اسمی و وصفی). ✔ اشتباه دستوری عمده‌ای ندارد. 🔹 فقط چند ریز اشتباه در هماهنگی فاعل/فعل یا حرف اضافه (مثل “if the government force” → باید باشد “forces”). 🔹 اما دقت کلی بسیار بالاست.

Topic: It is believed that some strict regulations should be applied to the prisoners to decrease the rate of crime. Do you agree or disagree with it? In recent years, the development of technology and automation has reduced the number of job opportunities, which has led to the increase of unemployment and crime rate in our society. Therefore, it is claimed that, if some strict laws are implemented in prisons,the number of criminals will decline. I support this idea for two main reasons discussed below. The first essential reason for me to consent to this idea is the deterrent effect of serious punishment. When flexible and lenient penalties are applied to the prisoners, they will not fear to commit a petty crime and go to jail where they are catered freely. Moreover, being imprisoned,the paupers and loafers, especially the homeless ones,are provided with a shelter in hot summer days and cold winter nights in prisons .But, if tough regulations are applied to the inmates,they will avoid perpetrating an offense. For example, if the government force the imprisoned individuals to work in mines, which provides the government with a source of revenue, they will refrain from perpetrating any crime. Furthermore , implementing harsh regulations in prisons makes the jail atmosphere unpleasant and unbearable for the captives . Then they regret to have committed an offense because they cannot bear the rigid rules of the prison. In addition, after they have been released, they will explain their unpleasant experience to the other guilty people,who have been fortunate enough not to be arrested by the police so far. Consequently, the rate of criminals will decrease,and their country will be a safe place for life. For example, some countries like Saudi Arabia use strict regulations like capital punishment for murderers; therefore, the number of offenders is at the lowest level in such nations. To sum it up, l believe that tough punishment applied to the prisoners can act as a deterrent measure frightening the law violating individuals. So the culprits refrain from following illegal activities. It should also be noted that the type of punishment ought to be proportional to the severity rate of crime.

📊 ارزیابی رایتینگ Task 1 (جدول بازدیدکنندگان UK) 1. Task Achievement (8.5–9.0): • ✔ همه اطلاعات اصلی جدول آورده شده: کل بازدیدکنندگان، اهداف (business & leisure)، و سه منطقه (North America, Western Europe, Other). • ✔ روند کلی (overall) به وضوح بیان شده: افزایش شدید کل بازدیدها، رهبری Western Europe، رشد leisure بیشتر از business. • ✔ مقایسه‌ها و تغییرات دقیق بیان شده (مثل اوج Western Europe در 1996 و افت اندک 1998). • ✔ داده‌های عددی دقیق استفاده شدن. • 🔸 تنها ایراد کوچک: جمله “the minority pursued business activities” کمی غیرطبیعیه، می‌شد گفت “a smaller proportion of tourists traveled for business purposes”. ⸻ 2. Coherence & Cohesion (8.5–9.0): • ✔ پاراگراف‌بندی کاملاً استاندارد: مقدمه – Overview – جزئیات هدف – جزئیات مناطق. • ✔ cohesive devices خوب استفاده شدن (moreover, meanwhile, however, although). • 🔸 گاهی اتصال جمله‌ها کمی سنگینه (مثلاً “Meanwhile ‘these tourists traveled from 3 different regions” → اون ‘ اضافه است و flow رو کمی خراب کرده). ⸻ 3. Lexical Resource (8.5): • ✔ واژگان آکادمیک دقیق: significantly rising trend, constantly increasing, gently dropped, accounted for, comprised, equaled at. • ✔ تنوع خوبه، تکرار کم دیده میشه. • 🔸 یه جا کلمه‌گذاری کمی awkward هست: “comprised sending the biggest number of passengers” → بهتر بود گفته بشه “Western Europe contributed the largest number of visitors”. ⸻ 4. Grammatical Range & Accuracy (8.5–9.0): • ✔ ساختارها متنوعن: passive, complex clauses, comparative structures. • ✔ بیشتر جمله‌ها بدون خطا. • 🔸 ایرادهای خیلی جزئی: • “to18.9 million” → فاصله افتاده. • “200000 decrease” → باید باشه “a 200,000 decrease”. ⸻ 🎯 نمره نهایی: Band 8.5 (با احتمال بالا 9.0 هم می‌تونه بگیره چون ایرادها بسیار جزئی هستن و به محتوا ضربه نمی‌زنن)

رایتینگ استاد The given table shows how many visitors traveled to the United Kingdom In five different intervals beginning in 1975 and ending in 1998 . Overall, the number ofvisitors traveling to that country experienced a significantly rising trend across the 23 year period. Moreover, these visitors followed two different purposes and they traveled from 3 different regions, among which Western Europe residents had a leading role. As the table indicates, most of the tourists followed leisure activities and their number was constantly increasing from 7.7 to 19.2 million until 1997 , then it dropped gently to18.9 million. However, the minority pursued business activities since their number had increased from 1.8 to 6.9 million before 1998. Meanwhile ‘these tourists traveled from 3 different regions, among which Western Europe comprised sending the biggest number of passengers because their number rose constantly from 5.9 to 16.8 million until 1996 which was followed by 200000decrease until 1998 .Although the number of passengers coming from North America and the other regions accounted for 1.9 and 1.7 million in 1975 respectively, their number climbed up significantly and equaled at 4.6 million in the final year.

متنی است که در کلاس writing گفتم یکی از آقایان تایپ کرده.

The given bar chart illustrates the percentages of over 15 year-old people who can read and write in five different continents. Overall, in all continents, the percentages of literate males have been reported to stand higher than those of females. Moreover, the proportion of men and women who have acquired reading and writing skills in developed continents is significantly higher than that in developing continents including Asia and Africa. As regards Europe, Oceania and America, one can obviously notice that the percentage of their literate male residents constitute 97.7 percent, 92.5 and 90.8 respectively. However, the percentages of literacy for their feminine counterparts are approximately 1.5 percent lower , which is the smallest gap. In contrast , the rate of literate men and women in Asia and Africa is significantly lower because, in the former continent, 76.6 percent of men can read and write, while this percentage for its literate women is 10.6 percent lower. Finally , in Africa 66.7 percent of males and 38.5 percent of female have learned how to read and write , which shows the greatest difference between the two genders among the continents.

⸻ Task Achievement: 8.0–8.5 • تمام داده‌ها را به‌طور دقیق و با مقایسه‌های درست بیان کرده. • داده‌ها به شکل تحلیلی ارائه شده، نه فقط توصیف ساده. • جمله کلی (overall) هم داده و هم مقایسه‌های منطقه‌ای. Coherence & Cohesion: 8.0 • پاراگراف‌بندی منطقی: مقدمه → جمع‌بندی کلی → جزئیات. • استفاده طبیعی از linking devices (However, In contrast, Moreover, Finally). • ترتیب ارائه داده‌ها واضح و منظم. Lexical Resource: 8.0–8.5 • واژگان آکادمیک و دقیق: “counterparts”, “acquired reading and writing skills”, “constitute”, “feminine counterparts”. • استفاده از عبارات دقیق‌تر به جای تکرار مکرر “literacy rate”. • تنوع واژگان بالا. Grammar Range & Accuracy: 8.0–8.5 • ساختارهای پیچیده به‌درستی استفاده شده (relative clauses, subordinate clauses). • زمان‌ها و تطابق فعل و فاعل درست است. • فقط یک یا دو ایراد خیلی جزئی: • “percent lower , which is” → نباید قبل ویرگول فاصله باشه (minor punctuation). • “for its literate women is 10.6 percent lower” → می‌شد بعد “women” یک “it” اضافه کند یا ساختار را بازنویسی کند برای روان‌تر بودن. ⸻ 📊 نمره کلی: 8.0–8.5 این متن هم از نظر ساختار و هم از نظر دقت آماری و واژگان کاملاً مناسب یک رایتینگ نمره بالا است.

موضوع امتحان سیزدهم April Some people still follow dangerous sports. What are the causes, and what are your suggestions.

. . 🔹 قابل توجه عزیزانی که متقاضی شرکت در 📣📣 دوره تخصصی جدید مهارت بکارگیری لغت در مهارتهای productive آیلتس 📢📢 هستند: 👈 👈 وبینار تخصصی ویژه معرفی  دوره Applied Vocabulary برگزار می گردد: سوالات: 🤔 برنامه ریزی دوره چگونه است و این دوره برای چه افرادی مناسب است؟ 🤔 با توجه به گستردگی لغات مورد نیاز، استفاده بهینه از لغات به چه شکل میتواند باشد؟ 🤔 روش تدریس در این دوره چگونه باعث ارتقای لغات در مهارتهای Writing و Speaking خواهد شد؟ 🤔 چه منابعی در این دوره مورد استفاده قرار می گیرد؟ 🔸 و بسیاری سوالات متنوع دیگر... ❓❓ اگر سوالاتی در مورد این دوره دارید که دنبال پاسخ اونها هستید، حتما شرکت کنید😊😊 ⛔️ سه شنبه، ۲ اردیبهشت، ساعت ۱۹:۳۰ 🤓 شرکت متقاضیان در این وبینار رایگان است 🤓 👈 شما میتوانید نام خویش را هم اکنون در لیست رزرو، ثبت نمایید...👉 ☎️ 05137676993 ☎️ 05137676996 ☎️ 05137610257 @Rp1telegram @rp1info .