Sage (t1/2)

I was trying different charm combinations to defeat the nightmare king in hollow knight and accidentally beat him on 1HP

locked in

Tired

A few days ago i shot half a syringe of an expired blood thinner straight into my arm, i dont know why i did it, i try not to think about it because it just leads me into a rabbit hole I felt nothing, i felt void of any kind of emotion

I dont like talking about my illness or mental state i think its very embarrassing but i felt i needed to today

I think i’m just mature about it, its MY issue, its rude to make it anyone else’s Other people deal with enough shit as is i think its inappropriate to just add to it over something that is my problem

One thing that still makes me question if i have borderline personality disorder even though i was diagnosed years ago, is the anger issues, people with BPD generally just lash out at anyone and everyone with no filter and no breaks But i don’t, i want to but i dont I just keep it for later and then point it all at myself It makes me wonder if i hold less value for myself than a person i dont even know

I wish i can direct my anger and frustration anywhere else but myself

I miss the comfort of silence, now the quiet is a reminder of what i had and pushed away

i wish to be felt and understood

نايم وليدي

Tired

I mean its more of 4 minutes of tormented screaming than a song but i love it