nessnote
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491
i cannot fathom how people continue to have faith in religion, how they build an identity around it, how they look at everything that unfolds in this world and within themselves and still find a reason to believe. i haven't associated myself with any religion for the past three years and it isn't because i'm some devoted student of science armed with equations and theories. also i don't claim certainty or i don't claim to know how the universe began. i am just an idiot who simply cannot believe because for me belief would demand a reconciliation i am incapable of making. it would mean finding a way to accept a world where so much suffering exists and still call it part of a karmic cycle or a spiritual cycle. i cannot do that. even if i wanted to believe there will always be something in me that refuses.
491
dekho i know for a fact that a lot of the people leading this protest have their own agendas cuz most people in positions of power rarely act without incentives. some want prominence, some want to grow their organisation, some want influence and some people are here simply for the clout. but here's the thing - a movement doesn't become meaningless just because some of its leaders have personal ambitions. right now idc whether they're politically benefiting from organising a protest this massive. i care about the issue they're fighting for. if the demands are legitimate, if thousands of students are finally being heard, and if pressure is being put on those in power then that matters. and i love how massive the turnout in the protest has been.
491
going back again and the only thing that's changed is the circle i'm in and that’s a good change. i still hate my classmates and i'm sure it's mutual but idc. the environment is still uninspiring and not a single person there cares for the course they are doing. bunch of impassionate people.
another welcome change is that i'm no more afraid of being alone, rather i prefer the time i get to be alone.
