bullshitting to all

it's always "why are you always so quiet,?try to speak a little" why do i have to, those people in my walls talks more wiser and speak lot more sense than you'll ever do in your whole life. i don't ever feel lonely because there's always somebody talking to me.

being my own therapist cause i have a habit of questioning everything

dostoevsky is me and im him when he said “sorrow compressed my heart, and i felt i would die, and then…well, then i woke up”

the more lights you'll setup here, I'll fall in love with night sky just a bit more

I'm developing this habit of turning my phone on and just watching the clock increase by 1min, there's neither sense of relief nor any sort of anxiousness while watching it. i am, just lost looking at it, head empty, no thoughts, just 11:51-11:52-11:53-11:54-11:55-11:56.....

dont even know what is making this much noise

just cause you turn your face, doesn't mean chaos ends

i'm too tired and consider no people worth enough to spend my energy onto, there are no exceptions. mimi's at the state where no words affect me and the way mimi perceive others people, in the same way i perceive them, i have lost the will to stand with a smile on and express humble nature. if there is something which is worth my time, i'll do it and if not then the very fact of it's existence no longer matters. don't try to bind me, don't try to cage me, don't try to push hands to my back, you're gonna fave resistance and it'll revolt back so bad it'll hurt we both, but it's fine. i wanna wear a red shirt and sit on the top of cliff which is just by an ocean and listen to music and be aware that i can just jump off this cliff at any given moment.

I'm dehydrated, maybe i should have some water? if being self aware and not ignorant of their surrounding was the solution, maybe if everybody kept their lives first and recalled to have some time for themselves, maybe if they didn't choose to prove themselves higher than their peers, maybe if realising consequences of their action and held themself accountable for that, maybe then maybe then it would be a wonderful world to live in.

I'll give half of my life to chatGPT the day this nigga comeforth as a being

my hands are getting dry, feet rashed and my body only responds to my subconscious. the void is severely widening and one day it's gonna consume me from inside. there is no sense of losing attachments to me anymore this world is too quick and fast for me to care about my scenario. i dont want to see myself in indulgence of self pity, if being avoidant saves me from the despair of everything, maybe this is the correct way defence mechanism against it. Afterall, i just want to feel the chase, live in the moment, move fast and put leaves on my face.

you're a premium subscriber to my yappasauring session now. @ritikx3