Sortes Sanctorum

Looks interesting. I hope I can watch it

Доброе утро

I am drunk. Still, I find human existence fascinating - my reaction time is slowed by roughly 250-500 ms, my motor coordination is in disarray, yet somehow it feels good. You would think that relinquishing some control would feel distressing, but it doesn't. It's harder to focus, though. Maybe that's why being intoxicated feels so nice - your focus is on the present, on the moment, rather than on the past or the future actions or events - your focus is more "focused". I drank roughly 1/6 of a 700 ml bottle of whiskey, so that's about 0.7-0.8 BAC. Alcoholism is nice, I understand... @kaai_yuu

What a rough episode

Ojisan got it

I was made aware that September is suicide awareness month. So, don't kill yourself. It won't get better, but something is always better than nothing. I do believe it @Smart_Oval

Saber is appropriate here, more than anyone, as someone who never got past her regrets for thousands of years. I never get over mistakes, transgressions, etc. I mean never, since the day I was born. I still have dreams and memories about kindergarten stuff - broken toys, arguments with other children. It was 20~ years ago. I'm still haunted by it. More recent events also give me mental anguish - I can't live past a scratch on a book or something like this. No, it's not a joke, it's insanity. It's not that I'm still actively angry or sad because of such events, I'm not. I'm a grown person. On a conscious level, I'm not sad because some fuckers broke my toys 20 years ago, or some fucker broke my globe 15 years ago, or because I was the victim of a minor scam 10 years ago, or a minor scratch on my poster. The problem is that I never forget any of it, and I regularly remember such events to this day - they make me uncomfortable, to say the least. Also, this problem has a snowballing effect - the more life experience I have, the more negative memories I accumulate. In Warhammer Fantasy (not 40K), dwarfs had the Great Book of Grudges, in which every insult, defeat, and act of aggression against the dwarves was recorded. It's like this, only without any conscious input. I do find it very funny. Will it reach a breaking point someday? I don't know, but I really don't want to find out. The human mind is a fascinating thing. I would love to know in detail how it works, but progress in psychology and psychiatry is pretty slow compared to other branches of science, despite them being relatively young sciences. For now, I will do my upmost to not go completely insane @fenglansishui

Nothing good will last forever. Nothing @sentter2

Update №2: the second HDD just died. I want to crawl into a ball and die. I wasted money for nothing. This is going to ruin my mood for at least a month - I'll spend my next few weekends drinking away my sorrows. I hate it. Why does everything always suck? Why does nothing good ever happen..? @hikimori_1

Very specific sale, but hey, you know, it is what it is...