THE VINE MAGAZINE

STANDARDIZED INGREDIENTS FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE 179 _*Various challenges and issues may occur and test your loyalty and commitment in the marriage relationship.*_ The challenges may be financial, job loss, child birth delay, sickness, death of a child, etc. _*Whatever the challenge or issues may be, avoid blaming each other but rather decide to mutually and holistically support each other as well as depending fully on the Most High God for His help for you are both stronger together which in the long run will promote a righteous and glorious marriage.*_ *http://CHRISTBRIDEFOUNDATION.ORG.NG*

WHY SOME PEOPLE FEEL LONELY IN THEIR MARRIAGE 1. They are married legally, but not emotionally 2. They married the title, not a friend 3. They went through a difficult experience in their childhood or youth that traumatized them and keeps them from opening up, having trust issues 4. They have low self-esteem hence feel they don't have much to offer. They don’t feel they are funny enough, deep enough or good company 5. They don't enjoy their own company. It is difficult to connect with your spouse when you haven't connected with yourself 6. They did not heal before getting married 7. They are used to being independent. Either because they grew up too fast and had to take up responsibilities early or they have been single for long before marriage 8. They habour unforgivenness. Holding grudges ruins connections 9. Them and their spouse haven't learnt to understand and accomodate each other's differences 10. They want to always be right and perfect, leading to being critical of self and others 11. They overthink. Living more in their heads than in the present 12. They don't create time for quality bonding with their spouse or have a spouse who doesn't create time 13. They struggle to be vulnerable hindering their partner from knowing who they really are

STANDARDIZED INGREDIENTS FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE _179 _*When married, it is good and advisable to financially support mutual parents and close family as much as you can.*_ "Leave your father and mother" as stated in the scriptures does not mean, we should not support our parents and close family when it's necessary and urgent. _*However, ensure that in mutually helping your parents and close family you do not neglect the basic and holistic needs of your spouse and children as give your spouse and children topmost priority which in the long will promote a righteous and glorious marriage relationship.*_ http://christbridefoundation.org.ng/

IN OUR VILLAGE, WE EAT THE HUMAN HEART It's not my fault, that's how we are. It's our culture and tradition. Infact, there's nothing as sweet as that part of the human body. I can bet you on this. Whenever we get the opportunity, we pounce on humans, and struggle to find a way to their heart. Once we get the heart, we share it among ourselves, and we do not stop until we have successfully shredded the heart into smaller pieces, enough for each of us to taste. The unfortunate thing, is that these humans who are not from our village are not aware of how we operate. We lay in wait for them in bushes by the roadside, and the most unpredictable sites, where they finally become victims. Of course, we're a tribe, and we stay here in Nigeria. We also have relatives outside the country. I wouldn't be wrong to say we're everywhere. Our mother is a professional heart devourer. She knows exactly where it is and how to get it. Once she stretches her hands towards their chest region, that's it! She would invite us as well to come and partake in the meal, and we would devour it. I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier. I'm not a beast like you already think. I'm actually Lust. Yes, that's my name, and I have two younger brothers, Addiction and Porn. We have many cousins too. Our mother, Immorality, is our cheer leader, and each day, we hide in unsuspecting sites like those videos you watch online, and the ones you have in your phone. Once the time is due, we come out, pounce on your heart, and devour it. My brother Addiction, can be dangerous, so watch out for him. Our target is your heart, and if you don't guard it diligently like your master asked you to, we may be tempted to do what we know how to do best. Remember, we devour hearts. We have hideouts. We hide in erotic novels, movies, pictures, and even in the bodies of seductive women. We're not so bad, we're only spirits of doom sent to kill, steal, and destroy and our hometown is Hell. Don't blame us if we get your heart, it would only mean that you failed to guard it. We're everywhere! Be at alert! __ ©️ Rejoice S. James

*WHAT IS EXPECTED OF A GOOD PARENT DURING HOLIDAYS!* 👠Pray with your kids. 🛼Mind the kids' dress code. 👠Monitor what they watch and how much time spent on TV. 🛼Make sure they do their holiday package. 👠 Vocational training skills are far better . 🛼 Boys and girls should have separate bedrooms. 👠Regular counselling meetings are vital for your kids. 🛼listen to them in case of challenges. 👠 Encourage Qur'an/ Bible recitation in your home. 🛼Be a role model to your kids. 👠Train them how to do domestic work. 🛼Promote your kid's dreams/visions. 👠Avoid domestic violence in front of kids. 🛼Have meals together. 👠Be a regular provider to your kids. 🛼 Encourage your children to greet. 👠Train kids to respect people irrespective of age. 🛼Teach them to be appreciative. 👠In the presence of children, avoid ill talks about their Teachers. 🛼Tell them "money is worked for". 👠Help your children avoid unnecessary visitations. 🛼Remember to sensitise them about HIV. 👠Make arrangement for holiday religious teaching programs for your children. 🛼Above all Show Love and care to your kids.

As you do that, satisfy your spouse sexually so that reality tastes sweeter than fantasy 7. SUDDEN SECRECY If you notice your partner is keeping secrets from you, be careful not to panic and make a fuss about it. You might make things uncomfortable for him/her. Ask yourself if in the past you have over reacted, judged, mocked or used what your partner shared with you against him/her. Chances are, you did and you put your partner on the edge and on defense mode. Solve this by relaxing. Be a keeper of secrets, don't blow things out of proportion. Share stuff with your partner and be cool to talk to.