Peace

These days I’m merely alive — I breathe, I go through the motions, but I don’t feel like I’m truly living. I wake up, do what needs to be done, talk and laugh, yet everything seems to happen at a distance — colorless, without passion, without that sense of being truly alive. I long for moments that make my heart race, for eyes that shine, for the feeling that a moment belongs to me. I hope to find meaning and warmth again someday — not just to keep breathing, but to really live.

Lately, I can’t say “I’m a happy person, I feel good, everything is going well” anymore. It feels like happiness has slipped away from me… the things that once made me laugh from the bottom of my heart don’t even bring the slightest smile to my face now. I don’t know if I should call it sadness, confusion, or maybe even depression… Something I never thought could ever hurt me is now weighing heavily on me.

Every time I talk to you, I realize that even my eyes are smiling

I probably always deserved the words I heard from that man, and he kept on scolding me more and more.