nessnote

लखनऊ जाना है

i've been thinking about this vacation lately now that there are only twenty days left. may disappeared before i even noticed it. i don't remember much from it except my phone screen. i wasn't reading, i wasn't watching films, i wasn't doing anything that would leave something behind. i'd wake up, scroll for hours, eat, sleep, and tried to convince myself that the next day would be different. there were days i didn't even cross five hundred steps. it's strange how easily a person can become used to doing nothing. but thankfully june was different. i wasn't productive in the usual sense. i barely read anything because i was with my family most of the time but i don't think i wasted june. i laughed more than i had in months, i spent time with people i don't get to see often, had dher saare aam. at one point i caught myself thinking last year's june had been better because of someone who isn't even here anymore but that’s foolish. i don't know why i keep giving memories more credit than the life i'm actually living. so now there are twenty days left. i've started reading great expectations. also i will try to move around a bit. six thousand steps sounds reasonable. i thought about running but i guess not (not athletic enough sori). walking anyways feels more like thinking. i think that's all i'm trying to do before college starts again.

i understand why authors do it, but pages of intentionally broken english to depict a character's limited education make for such a tedious reading experience

weirdly accurate post

one of patriarchy's greatest successes is convincing women to police other women. every time i hear "she shouldn't have worn that," "girls should behave better and know the boundaries," or "boys are just like that," i'm reminded that oppression doesn't survive on men alone, it survives when women are taught to internalize amd enfore it.

i want to learn color grading but-

not a single boring episode btw

the fact that i know tons of people like this is disappointing

seedha mard × chant aurat meri feed se door raho

masti over. vil b analysing wuthering heights for the next 1 week