nessnote
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somewhere between brainrot and peak wisdom i post a lot about my current obsessions (which change way too often (lowkey a photo dump as well)
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spent the morning in sunlight again, eating oranges and laai, rewriting my fresher’s speech again and again. we have the event tomorrow and i have to give the welcome speech. HELP
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but honestly, i love sitting here in the mornings and reading. the sunlight comes in through the windows and everything feels warm and cozy.
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i held confidence like a borrowed dress and wore it outside the house, pretended it belonged to me, prayed no one would notice the tag still hanging. but the world has sharp eyes so they always did. i step out thinking maybe today i’ll feel beautiful, maybe today the mirror won’t win. i learned too early that compliments are currency and i’m always broke. insecurity becomes a second skin. my body speaks before i do, shoulders fold, voice cracks in the middle of hello. and somehow i still hope someone will look long enough to see the girl trembling beneath the silence. i imagine conversations with people i’ll never approach, building whole worlds around a boy i’ll never speak to. i watch every opportunity walk away because i’m convinced i’m the last person anyone would choose to stay for. i hate this version of me.
