𝑵𝑬𝑻𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑲 𝑶𝑭 𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗜𝗧

Anyone have Amazon prime?

Ye loki ai photo kyu bhej rha mere I'd sw

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Chodo first dm waala khelte hai Time 5:16 Code - SUMITONTOP DM AT @T4HKR

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I used to think that getting older meant understanding more. Now I'm not so sure. Lately I've been feeling like something is missing. If someone asked me what, I wouldn't have an answer. Nothing terrible has happened. Nobody hurt me. My life isn't falling apart. Yet there's this constant sense that something is incomplete. At first I thought it was a discipline problem. I make plans. I know exactly what I should be doing. I know where I'm wasting time. I know which habits are pulling me backwards. The strange thing is that knowing all of this doesn't seem to change much. I've spent years believing that self-awareness was the hard part. It turns out self-awareness is easy. Living according to what you know is hard. Sometimes I feel like there are two versions of me constantly arguing with each other. One wants growth. The other wants comfort. One wants discipline. The other wants distraction. The worst part is that I can see both sides while it's happening. A while ago I was coloring my mother's hair and noticed how much grey hair there was compared to before. It wasn't even a sad moment. Nothing happened. We were talking normally. Yet for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about it afterwards. There was a time when those grey hairs didn't exist. There was a time when my parents looked exactly the same every year. Or maybe they didn't. Maybe I was just too young to notice. When you're a child, you never imagine your parents getting old. You don't think about losing them. You don't think about time at all. Children live as if everything around them is permanent. Then one day you notice the grey hair. And after that, you start noticing everything else. I've seen enough people leave this world to know that life doesn't ask for permission before it changes. There are people whose numbers are probably still saved in someone's phone even though they'll never answer again. People whose last conversation ended without anybody knowing it was the last one. I think about that more than I used to. Probably more than I should. TThe last year has been one of the strangest years of my life. I spent most of it studying religion. It started with curiosity. I wanted answers to questions that had been sitting in the back of my mind for years. Does God exist? What is God? If God created everything, then who created God? Why are there so many religions? Why do different people worship different gods? If truth is one, why does humanity seem so divided when searching for it? I thought I would eventually reach a point where everything made sense. Instead, I discovered how little I know. The more I learned, the less confident I became in my own understanding. Every answer opened the door to new question. The funny thing is that despite all of that, I ended up closer to God than before. I still don't know how to explain it. If anything, I have more doubts today than I did when I started. I just have fewer illusions about how much I know. There have been moments in my life where everything seemed finished. Moments where every plan failed and every option disappeared. Then somehow things worked out anyway. Not always in the way I wanted, but enough times that it left an impression on me. Maybe that's faith. Maybe it isn't. I honestly don't know. These days I spend a lot of time online. Memes, arguments, random conversations, projects, distractions. Most people probably assume that's all it is. Sometimes I think so too. But every now and then everything becomes quiet. And when it does, all the questions I managed to ignore during the day come back. Not because they want answers. Just because they refuse to leave. Maybe that's what this feeling is. Maybe nothing is actually missing. Maybe I'm just becoming aware of things that were always there. Time. Loss. Faith. The people I love. The fact that every ordinary moment is temporary. I don't know. I just know that lately, whenever I look at my parents, I find myself silently hoping for something I never used to think about before. A little more time.😨