Scribe your soul out

but please got to his show😭

i am not a supportive human

WE NEED TO GET NUKED

this is not real

noooo ech

endeee

i love our culture but i never cringed so hard godddd

i have never seen an orange tree irl.

don’t use it as an attempt to slide in my dm too. i will curse you out dumbass ech good night.

i didn’t want to mention this( i dont want to pity please) but my baby enzo passed away two days ago. he was a really good boy. he didn’t ask for much he didn’t even want that much attention. all he wanted in life was to run, eat, and play with his buddy, and sometimes cuddle too. they make me happy. i need them more than anything, they make my life better here, and i don’t think anyone would really understand that. i hate death, but i hate pain even more. i hate that i couldn’t ask him where it hurt, and i hate that he couldn’t tell me either. the way he died felt like he was watching a big field and running in it. even though he couldn’t stand, his legs were running. all i could do was call his name and tell him he was a good boy. every time i rubbed his back, he stopped for a moment i think i was there in the field with him, and then he started running again. he was lying on his side, running, and then for a second he looked up at me and stopped moving. the thing is, he had just been resting. when we came back from the hospital, he was laying on my lap i was told he was going to be okay and i thought he would be okay. but my baby wanted to run and he did. losing is bad and i know i will lose more and more i just hope god gives me the heart to really understand life more.

Enzo

i woke angry. pissed off but what do we do ዋጥ ዋጥ

i don’t want to know how awful i am, and i really don’t want to explain why i’m horrible.

what i’m sick of is this when did we all become writers? when did everything start needing an explanation a dissection, a thesis? why do we have to investigate every feeling, name every crack, analyze every breath? we’re so busy being aware that we’ve forgotten how to act, how to just be it’s all performance now understanding instead of living. i am sick of myself for explaining.

he is waiting for his best friend, i don’t think he know that he is not coming. he is all alone now.

remember when we were kids when we’d get beaten and they’d say ዋጥ አድርጊያት like silence could soften the blow. That’s how life feels now. standing over me with a belt. If I say more, I might get hit harder. so ዋጥ ዋጥ

nvm. good night

i have to write/try too.

when something bad happens, i try as hard as i can to hide it. i tell myself i’m being dramatic, that i shouldn’t feel this much. sometimes i wish i felt nothing at all, because everything feels too big. i feel things deeply, and that depth hurts. the few things that help me cope keep getting taken away. i try to stay calm, but i can’t. no matter how hard i try, it settles deep and aches i dont know how to do it, i dont have the script handed to me i dont know how to handle things,i don’t know how else to do it. all i know is how to ignore it, maybe cry a little, then act as if nothing ever happened. and if i step outside those patterns, i punish myself for being dramatic.