bullshitting to all

i hate people who always smile.

I’m, in fact, a remarkably good bullshitter. I can walk into a conversation knowing approximately two lines, three cues, and a vague understanding of what the subject is supposed to be, and somehow emerge looking like I personally wrote the textbook. The trick isn’t actually knowing shit. It’s knowing 'just enough about what you don’t know' to avoid stepping directly into it. I’ll catch a few keywords, remember one suspiciously specific fact, connect it to something vaguely related, and suddenly I’m speaking with the confidence of who has spent the last six months conducting field research. Meanwhile, internally, I’m basically running on a loading screen. And the funniest part is that the more aware I am of my own bullshit, the better I become at selling it. I know exactly where my knowledge ends, so I simply stop walking there. I stay comfortably within the little territory I understand, decorate the borders with confidence, throw in a few thoughtful pauses, and let everyone else assume there’s a vast intellectual empire behind it. There probably isn’t. But they don’t know that. And apparently, knowing that they don’t know is itself a form of knowing. So there I am, explaining something I barely understand with the composure of someone who has been personally consulted by the laws of physics, while praying nobody asks the one follow-up question that requires me to actually know what I’m talking about. Competence, apparently, is sometimes just confidence wearing a convincing disguise. And mine has excellent posture.

I’m, in fact, a remarkably good bullshitter. I can walk into a conversation knowing approximately two lines, three cues, and a vague understanding of what the subject is supposed to be, and somehow emerge looking like I personally wrote the textbook. The trick isn’t actually knowing shit. It’s knowing 'just enough about what you don’t know' to avoid stepping directly into it. I’ll catch a few keywords, remember one suspiciously specific fact, connect it to something vaguely related, and suddenly I’m speaking with the confidence of who has spent the last six months conducting field research. Meanwhile, internally, I’m basically running on a loading screen. And the funniest part is that the more aware I am of my own bullshit, the better I become at selling it. I know exactly where my knowledge ends, so I simply stop walking there. I stay comfortably within the little territory I understand, decorate the borders with confidence, throw in a few thoughtful pauses, and let everyone else assume there’s a vast intellectual empire behind it. There probably isn’t. But they don’t know that. And apparently, knowing that they don’t know is itself a form of knowing. So there I am, explaining something I barely understand with the composure of someone who has been personally consulted by the laws of physics, while praying nobody asks the one follow-up question that requires me to actually know what I’m talking about. Competence, apparently, is sometimes just confidence wearing a convincing disguise. And mine has excellent posture.

but oh well, life is a thing. it's liveable and worth all the time. make it count.

i actually realised few things. i never needed help, just a person who i can talk to. and somebody who'll motivate me to do things which i wish to do, and somebody who understands me well and talk to me with the same level of intellect or higher.

I'm a very lonely person, that doesn't mean i spend my life alone more so I'm lonely by soul. even though I'm fully capable of feeling love, i don't let those people's love even graze ne through. in fact even my morality also subjugates when it somehow gives me a sense of protection. not to say I'm the only person like this. there are billions. but.

how to fix issues.

how to fix responsibility issues.

how to fix accountability issues.

how to fix commitment issues.

smokers are generally of two types, not to polarizing, one which is full of dumb people, other which is full of choosers. you can easily identify which is which in a couple of second.

take happiness out of sadness and watch the sadness evaporate.

exactly. self awareness was part of the conclusion though. her exact words were "self harm can be of multiple forms, yours is where you torture yourself emotionally and mentally.

my therapist said i like to torture myself emotionally and mentally.

"Your consciousness is a room full of memories that is constantly evolving. But as you walk through life, the untrained mind can start to build walls, put up barriers, to protect itself from the outside world. It's a natural response... But if gone unchecked, it can leave you feeling trapped."