This Bitter Land
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I wasn’t hurt enough when I should have been. When I should have felt real pain, I stifled it. I didn’t want to take it on, so I avoided facing up to it. Which is why my heart is so empty now. Haruki Murakami
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زندگی، استنشاقِ مرگ است.
در هر لحظه از این زندگی مدرن، داریم ذرهذره ارزشهای انسانی خود را میکشیم. در چنین فضایی، مرگ دیگر یک پایان ترسناک نیست؛ بلکه وزن و قطعیتی دارد که به کل این مسیر بیهوده، یک «نقطه پایان واقعی» و باابهت میدهد.A Sanctuary For Silent Screams
[Mikey] Hey, he’s happy. He’s happy. Rich, you’re happy. Right now, I swear this is… this is the most… It’s, like, the most healthy and, like, you’re-you’re… you’re full. You’re full and I love it. He’s in love, you know. Fucker cannot wait to be a father either. I mean, he can’t fucking… [chuckles] …he can’t… he can’t fucking wait. I mean, he-he’s got this pride. You’re glowing, Rich. You’re glowing. I love you. It’s my fucking boy. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you so much. Fucking love you. Look at him, he’s gonna be a dad. Look at him. Look at this fucking… That’s going to be a father. That. That right there is going to be a father, right? Fucking kid’s gonna end up abandoned and alone just like he was. But hey, shit, hey, at least you went into it with a good fucking mindset, right, kid, huh? [chuckles] I mean, no, no, no, no, no, it’s okay. No, I love it. That’s-that’s the thing. That’s the thing you got to know about Rich, man, is that the one thing that you can absolutely fucking depend on with this fucking guy is that if he is involved, he’s going to fuck it up. I mean, he is going to fuck it up and everybody knows it. I mean… [stammers] …nobody says it, right? Nobody says it because everybody’s a fucking coward and a fucking liar. But this isn’t going to be any fucking different. I mean, he’s going to fuck this. He’s got his entire life is a fucking bed that he took a shit in the middle of and he just smears it right and that’s what’s beautiful. Hey. Hey. Look at him. He’s beautiful. But he’s got to fuck this up too, right? No, no, no, no, no, no, it’s okay. It’s okay. Everybody knows it. They don’t say it, but they look, look. Ooh. Oh, look at his eyes. Look at those beady little fucking eyes. He knows it too. That’s the fucking thing.
[Richie] All right.
[Mikey] He knows it too. Well, all right, what? We gotta go.
[Richie] We gotta go.
[Mikey] We gotta. Where are we going? Where-Where are we fucking going?
[Richie] Yo, we got this meeting.
[Mikey] Yeah. We got it. You know what you ought to do? You ought to get in the fucking truck and just start fucking driving.
[Richie] All right.
[Mikey] Just fucking bolt, Rich. Just fucking… you wanna do that kid of yours a favor? Just fucking bolt. Just fucking hit the fucking road and do not come back. You wanna do him a favor, right?
[Richie] Okay. Okay.
[Mikey] No, it’s fine. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. It’s the truth. It’s the truth. What you’re gonna be a good father? Is that what you got to be? Huh, Ronald McDonald, you’re gonna be a good father? Are you gonna be a good father? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. Just say it. Just say you’re gonna fuck it up, right? Come on, you’re not mad. Don’t be mad. You’re not mad.
[Richie] I’m not–
[Mikey] You’re not mad. Are you mad? Are you mad?
[Richie] Stop. Stop.
[Mikey] You’re not mad. You’re not mad. No, just say it–
[Richie Slaps Mikey]
[Richie] Stop it.
[Mikey] No, no, no, no, no.
[Richie] Stop that.
Ah! He’s telling the fucking truth finally. He’s telling the fucking truth. Say it again. You hate me? You hate me, Rich? [spits] You gonna fuck this up, Rich. Just say that and we’ll go. Say it and we’ll go. Oh.
[crowd] Oh.
[Richie] Stop.
[Mikey] At least you’re not lying anymore.
[Richie] Why are you doing?
[Mikey] I love you.
[Richie] Why are you doing this?
[Mikey] I love you.
[Sherri] Just…
[Mikey] You’re a coward, Rich. You’re a fucking coward.
[Richie] I’m a coward?
[Mikey] You’re a coward.
[Richie] I’m a coward. I’m a coward. A coward.
[Mikey] Kid’s gonna hate you, Rich. Kid’s gonna…
Hey, he’s happy. He’s happy. Rich, you’re happy. Right now, I swear this is… this is the most… It’s, like, the most healthy and, like, you’re-you’re… you’re full. You’re full and I love it. He’s in love, you know. Fucker cannot wait to be a father either. I mean, he can’t fucking… [chuckles] …he can’t… he can’t fucking wait. I mean, he-he’s got this pride. You’re glowing, Rich. You’re glowing. I love you. It’s my fucking boy. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you so much. Fucking love you. Look at him, he’s gonna be a dad. Look at him. Look at this fucking… That’s going to be a father. That. That right there is going to be a father, right? Fucking kid’s gonna end up abandoned and alone just like he was. But hey, shit, hey, at least you went into it with a good fucking mindset, right, kid, huh? [chuckles] I mean, no, no, no, no, no, it’s okay. No, I love it. That’s-that’s the thing.
That’s the thing you got to know about Rich, man, is that the one thing that you can absolutely fucking depend on with this fucking guy is that if he is involved, he’s going to fuck it up. I mean, he is going to fuck it up and everybody knows it. I mean… [stammers] …nobody says it, right? Nobody says it because everybody’s a fucking coward and a fucking liar. But this isn’t going to be any fucking different. I mean, he’s going to fuck this. He’s got his entire life is a fucking bed that he took a shit in the middle of and he just smears it right and that’s what’s beautiful. Hey. Hey. Look at him. He’s beautiful. But he’s got to fuck this up too, right? No, no, no, no, no, no, it’s okay. It’s okay. Everybody knows it. They don’t say it, but they look, look. Ooh. Oh, look at his eyes. Look at those beady little fucking eyes. He knows it too.
That’s the fucking thing.[Richie] All right.
He knows it too.
Well, all right, what? We gotta go. [Richie] We gotta go.
We gotta. Where are we going?
Where-Where are we fucking going? [Richie] Yo, we got this meeting.
Yeah. We got it. You know what you ought to do?
You ought to get in the fucking truck and just start fucking driving.
[Richie] All right. Just fucking bolt, Rich.
Just fucking… you wanna do that kid of yours a favor?
Just fucking bolt. Just fucking hit the fucking road and do not come back.
You wanna do him a favor, right? [Richie] Okay. Okay.
No, it’s fine. It doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter. It’s the truth.
It’s the truth. What you’re gonna be a good father?
Is that what you got to be?
Huh, Ronald McDonald, you’re gonna be a good father?
Are you gonna be a good father? It doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter. Just say it.
Just say you’re gonna fuck it up, right?
Come on, you’re not mad. Don’t be mad.
You’re not mad. [Richie] I’m not–
You’re not mad. Are you mad? Are you mad? Stop. Stop.
You’re not mad. You’re not mad. No, just say it–
[person] Oh, my God. Stop it.
No, no, no, no, no. [Richie] Stop that.
Ah!
He’s telling the fucking truth finally.
He’s telling the fucking truth. Say it again.
You hate me? You hate me, Rich? [spits]
You gonna fuck this up, Rich. Just say that and we’ll go.
Say it and we’ll go. Oh. [crowd] Oh.
[person] All right. That’s an… I don’t know.
Stop.
[Mikey] At least you’re not lying anymore.
Why are you doing? [Mikey] I love you.
Why are you doing this? [Mikey] I love you.
[Sherri] Just…
You’re a coward, Rich. You’re a fucking coward.
I’m a coward? [Mikey] You’re a coward.
I’m a coward.
A coward.
[Richie] I’m a coward.
Kid’s gonna hate you, Rich.
Kid’s gonna…
This is
