On the Spectrum
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Firuzabonu Haydarova Behavior Therapist at the Bridge Autism Clinic The junior at the University of Minnesota | EYUF'23 Majoring in Special Education with emphasis on ASD and Developmental Psychology https://buymeacoffee.com/firuzahaydarova
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پستهای کانال
never seen such a beautiful summer.
the red barn is real. the bee on the flower is real. water lilies are real. the beautiful side of life.
@on_spectrum
| 2 |  A life with peace.
@on_spectrum | 451 |
| 3 | sorry for the long-read. i had to write it somewhere. | 625 |
| 4 | i made a mistake at work today.
it was not all terrible. but for a second i though i could've traumatised a kid for the rest of his life. and that wasn't the first time my eyes got teared up at work. there is this girl i give therapy to, she is on this medication that makes her really hungry all the time. by the time she ate her breakfast, she wanted more, but i wasn't allowed to give her more food. we were in the kitchen putting her lunchbox in the fridge, and for one second i wasn't looking at her, she was grabbing other kid's breakfast. that kid was very frustrated, crying, whining, i have never seen him this frustrated. the other therapist helped me to calm both down. i got my kid out of the kitchen. i was frozen for some time in her room. cold blood rushed through my veins, made me freeze for a moment. it was my fault that i shouldn't have forgotten that her hunger made her steal others' food all the time. because it's not kids' fault that their neurons fire this way becaus of the autism and other medications, surgeries.
then, for our morning meeting with all the staff and kids, i stepped out from the big space for a little bit. i just observed everyone. every single kid in that area was diagnosed with autism, but they all have different traits, difficulties, vocals, everything is different for every single one of them. it just hurt me a little. maybe more than a little.
i witnessed the things i have never imagined to see in my entire life. now every day i come home with some bruises in my legs, some scratched in my neck or arms, because this goddamn autism made some kids have aggressive behaviors that they would physically hurt us. because they don't understand that they are hurting us.
one day, one of my kids grabbed my neck, pinched and bit so hard, i though it would scar me. but this aggression was the response to a small denied access. the other day, i received training on a kid on a wheelchair who can't speak, plus he has autism. imagine. just imagine for a moment. it was the first time, i learned how to take care of a person on a wheelchair. at the beginning of my training, i learned to feed a kid through a g-tube. he can't swallow. he can't eat or even drink water. he can't hold his saliva. he can't talk. he can't make sound. he can't walk properly. i don't want to imagine the rest of his life in this condition. he had so many surgeries from childhood. he always has surgeries.
my kids have mild aggression. but there are other kids who have crisis plans. some day we might not handle them, do things that would not hurt others around them. a lot of them cannot talk. we teach them how to talk. how to use their vocals, if they don't have vocals, we teach them to use their devices, pictural communication binders. we play with them, we, bunch of grown-ups, just play with them while teaching them how to live.
yeah, it does sound hurtful: we teach them how to live in this inaccessible cruel world.
i'm grateful for this job. it is teaching me that there is a life behind the "neurotypical" world, internet, social media, sugarcoating, AI, etc. i am not saying they don't matter. i am saying that there is a whole another world where children need our help. only we can help them to live a little bit happier every day.
@on_spectrum | 598 |
| 5 |  #new_books
1. How we die - Sherwin Nuland
2. Kiss and Tell - Alain de Botton
3. The list of things that will not change - Rebecca Stead
4. Jack London Short Stories
5. Hunger Games - Collins
6. Catching fire - Collins
7. Mockingjay - Collins
8. The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes - Collins
9. Sunrise on the Reaping - Collins
10. Avengers - Ultimate guide to earth's mightiest heros.
What a great time to read!
@on_spectrum | 641 |
| 6 | My internship is teaching me what it's like to live with a disability. I am seeing that there is life out there where people and kids struggle just because they have some disability. It's very hard to feel its challenges until you get exposed.
I have a kid with a wheelchair, I had to learn how to push, lock, secure the wheelchair, and at the same time interact with the autistic kid in it. I had to learn how to feed a kid with a tube in his stomach while teaching him to play, ask and sit still. I had to learn how to put on and take off my kid's the leg braces and help him walk around, play, get more comfortable.
These are all basic needs. I try to be as patient as possible for them to get better service every day. I just want them to be happy, live happier.
@on_spectrum | 627 |
| 7 |  It was supposed to be summer?! | 586 |
| 8 | Little me would have never guessed the older me giving therapy to autistic kids, G-tube feeding them, helping around in the clinic, overall, learning actual stuff about autism.
Yes, it's hard. Yes, it takes a whole lot of responsibility that the quality life of these kids depend on me, and my coworkers.
But it's such a rewarding experience.
@on_spectrum | 611 |
| 9 |  +5Life lately.
@on_spectrum | 747 |
| 10 |  New title is unlocked :)
@on_spectrum | 716 |
| 11 | Sometimes people's sadness makes us uncomfortable. Then, we unconsciously try to remind their responsibility for their own sadness, instead of showing some empathy.
Imagine, you get a sore throat, if the other person say, "o'zing sovuq suv ichgansan-da, boshqa ichma" to you while you are sick, instead of saying, "oh, poor thing, you will get well soon". Then, they are not showing you some care. They are validating their discomfort.
It took me a lot to realize that.
@on_spectrum | 735 |
| 12 |  I don't think I had enough of Jizzakh yet..
@on_spectrum | 1 049 |
| 13 |  And when I'm back in Jizzakh)
@on_spectrum | 1 106 |
| 14 | Yangi sog'ilgan sutga non to'g'rab ichishning gashtini qayerdanam bilardilar) | 720 |
| 15 |  - What's your favorite place?)
@on_spectrum | 675 |
| 16 | We don't teach children how to be upset. Then, they grow up to seek validation when they get upset.
Such a sad realization.
@on_spectrum | 664 |
| 17 | Best things while running in Uzbekistan :
1. Yangi suv sepilgan yo'laklar
2. Novvoyxonalarning hidi
3. Masjidning yonida turgan veliklar | 786 |
| 18 | Bilgichlar, Asaxiy'ning eng oxirgi ochilgan kitob do'koni manzilini bilasizlarmi? | 0 |
| 19 |  And this is what I do right after I come home)
@on_spectrum | 962 |
| 20 |  +7This is how coming home feels like:
Spring is springing)
@on_spectrum | 858 |
