RedScope

A highly excited man rang up for an ambulance. "Quickly, come quickly", he shouted, "My wife's about to have a baby." "Is this her first baby?" asked the operator. "No, you fool", said to reply, "It's her husband." @weirdo_thoughts

A woman goes into a US sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It's for my husband", she tells the shop keeper. "Did he tell you what type of rifle to get?" asks the shop keeper. Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn't even know that I'm going to shoot him😡!" @weirdo_thoughts

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✨ @girly_quotess ✨ ✨ @girly_quotess ✨

Meeting someone unintentionally and then having them become a huge part of ur life. @weirdo_thoughts

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A depressed man turned to his friend in the pub and said, "I woke up this morning and felt so bad that I tried to kill myself by taking 50 aspirin." "Oh man, that's really bad", said his friend, "What happened?" The first man sighed and said, "After the first two, I felt better." @weirdo_thoughts

Mother: Why are you home from school so early? Son: I was the only one in the class who could answer a question. Mother: Oh, really? What was the question? Son: Who threw the rubber at the teacher? @weirdo_thoughts

A man's credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. @weirdo_thoughts

Do you ever miss old friends but you know you can't be friends with them anymore bc they are fake but you wish they weren't fake???? Bc same🤔 @weirdo_thoughts

Twenty years ago, we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have no jobs, no cash, and no hope. Please, don't let Kevin Bacon die. @weirdo_thoughts

Dads and technology don't always go well together! @weirdo_thoughts