Abstract Thoughts

I know you, I see you, I hear you. I am always with you. Even in the midst of your pain, loneliness, and brokenness, I am here to remind you that love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. My love for you is enduring and unwavering, and it has the power to heal the deepest wounds your heart refuses to let go of. For neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate you from my love. My beloved child, I see your pain and fear. You are precious to me, and I love you more than you can imagine. Your life has great meaning and purpose, and I have plans for you that are filled with hope and goodness. Please don't give in to despair or thoughts of ending your life. Your life is a precious gift, and there is so much more in store for you. I have seen your tears, heard your prayers, and I am working in ways that you cannot yet see. I promise to walk with you through this storm and lead you to brighter days. Trust in me, my child, and let my love and grace carry you through this time. You are loved, valued, and cherished beyond measure."

Hope Faith Love "Why do you insist on trying to prove yourself to everyone? For acceptance? By whom? You can't do everything by yourself, and even if you did, that would never be enough. You are worth nothing alone; your false righteousness smells like a dirty rag. You are a hypocrite among kind hearts, a liar among liars, a thief among thieves, a murderer among killers. Yet you wear the sheep's coat, attempt to soften your voice with butter, and then you baa. But I know you. You are a wolf among my sheep, an imposter. You do not know me, your shepherd, and I do not know you. You are a lone wolf, you are your own shepherd. You have made yourself your own god. So who are you to question me? Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone—while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt'? Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades? Can you loosen Orion’s belt? Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it? Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep? Have the gates of death been shown to you? Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness? Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me if you know all this. What is the way to the abode of light? And where does darkness reside? Can you take them to their places? Do you know the paths to their dwellings? Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm, to water a land where no one lives, an uninhabited desert, to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass? Does the rain have a father? Who fathers the drops of dew? From whose womb comes the ice? Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens when the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen? Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons or lead out the Bear with its cubs? Do you know the laws of the heavens? Can you set up God’s dominion over the earth? Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water? Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you, 'Here we are'? Who provides food for the raven when its young cry out to God and wander about for lack of food? My precious child, the righteous cry out, and I hear them. I deliver them from all their troubles. I am closer to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit. So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. My beloved child, I understand your struggle and the darkness you feel. But remember, even in the darkest of nights, I am the light that guides your path. I have led my people through the wilderness with a pillar of fire; I am with you every step of the way. Remember, faith is confidence in what you hope for and assurance about what you do not see. In times of doubt, turn to my words, for they are the lamp for your feet. Seek me in prayer, for I, your God, have ears that listen. Trust me, and I will guide you. I am the way, the truth, and the life.

Hope Faith Love I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was. Why, oh why... why? Why did I ever think I was strong enough? Maybe because that is what I have always wanted? To be able to do it on my own, to prove to myself, to everyone, that I have it under control. That I am my own God. Seems I don't have anything under control; everything looks to be falling apart. Losing my grip on reality, my mind marinating in madness, my soul fighting my spirit, I don't know whose side I should be on. I find my consciousness floating in the sea of despair, no glimpse of hope from this hell hole I dug myself into. Even if hope finds me, I doubt her feathered wings can carry my weight. "I am the way into the city of woe... Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." I walk with my eyes wide open since all faith is lost; I walk by sight. But what good is my sight in the third quarter of the night? The moon hides her glow, the stars cover their spark. In this darkness, I can't tell my left from right. I don't trust the voices I hear; they seem to come from a distance, sounds of laughter and cheer, but when I get closer to take part in this feast, all I find is shrieking and grinding of teeth. I have lost trust in my senses, for to lose faith is to lose all. "I am the way to go among the lost... abandon all hope, ye who enter here." Everything I do breaks, everything I touch rots, the guards to my heart have been slaughtered. My well has been trampled, life poisoned. The water tastes like death, food like sand. I am only a resounding gong, a clanging cymbal, for in my heart there is no love. "I am the way into eternal pain... abandon all hope, ye who enter here." *efx*

as we all are raised differently, exposed to different things, we form a unique lens , that lens we keep viewing the world from inside our heads, but that lens is not near perfect, it distorts and refracts what we see, changing the world without us seeing, thinking everybody is seeing the same, but it isnt, its when another imperfect lens perfects our viewing we understand that we have been viewing wrong, that imperfect lens for them, but correcting lens for you, and for them you the correcting lens but for you the imperfect lens, these lenses once used together, show soo much of the world, so much so, both lenses see a different world and the same world at the same time, equipped with the new mode of seeing and observing, the two lenses begin performing something great, a great thing both ever dreamed of doing, every thorn behind the fog now illuminated , they dance through the fog ridden forest smoothly, dancing so elegantly, the two lenses achieve greatness, greatness that can only seen by the two and no one else. eu

It has been a while Time has slipped by, hasn't it? Since my pen last inked for you, I assure you, you've not faded from my memory. Often, you wander through my thoughts, Yet, when I draw you into my verses, They spiral into nonsense, For my love has turned possessive, And my words, barren. How do I end them with no form of hope? So, I will hold them within, Wating for the day the perfect words emerge. In this state, I wonder... Will my affection freeze or grow warmer? I do hope it's the latter. For then, I'll gently ask you, When your smile seems misaligned, When your face is off queue What burdens weigh on your mind? What has been bothering you? When your eyes hold dark shadows, When they are swollen from old and red from fresh tears What sadness has befallen your way? When my words don't reach you, nor do our paths cross, It may appear as though I've forsaken you, But you're ever-present in my after dark thoughts. Now, my words are caged birds, wings clipped, Grounded, unable to fly, Tangled thoughts and a silent love, unreciprocated, A heavy load, a vow fragmented. So until I am set free, my silence and distance might come of as distaste But I promise I am drunk with your love And until I learn how to live a sobber life; so until liberation graces me, my quiet song and absence may seem like a scorn, Yet, I vow, I'm intoxicated with your essence, And until, I learn how to live a clean life; Grant me patience, for with time, I'll learn to love and cherish you in whatever way you wish it. *efx*

Beacon beyond the inferno In the shadows of your fears, my child, you need not dwell, For I am the light that shines, a beacon in your personal hell. The fires that you return to, the pain you know so well, Are but illusions of comfort, a deceptive, binding spell. Turn away from the inferno, from the devil's cunning lies, I offer you salvation, a love that never dies. Your soul is not for trading, nor a key for endless woe, It's a precious gift I've given for you to cherish and to hold. The darkness may seem daunting, the cold too much to bear, But I am always with you, my love is everywhere. Lift your eyes to the heavens, where stars and moonlight meet, Find peace in their beauty, And may my words guide your feet. You speak of debts and payments, of a cost too high to pay, But I have paid it all for you, You are now a free man. Your stay need not be eternal, in the flames that scorch and sear, Because I have paved your exit, for I hold you dear. So come out from the inferno, let go of all your fears, My love is the payment that wipes away your tears. A new day is approaching, where true comfort you will find, In the embrace of my presence, leaving the flames behind. *efx*

The Cost of Comfort in the Flames I find myself walking back to familiar fires, I know the flame burns, But I am more scared of the dark than of blazing pain. I would rather get scorched than be left alone with my thoughts, And without the fire, I am lost. All these addictions and distractions, so I could forget for a moment, They never last, just a fleeting escape, I know where I am, always self-aware. When the fire is too hot, I jump out, Promise never to get back. Take a few quick steps, It gets dark without the flames, And I retrace my steps. Tonight, the sky shares my fate, The moon is dark, the stars are dim, My sunshine is no longer mine, our hearts halfway across the earth. So back I jump into my familiar hell, Where the devil waits to hear my tales, As I order my usual. We have become quite the partners in trade, In an endless loop, He is the mastermind, and I am the dupe. And to stay at his burning hotel, "The Inferno," The rent isn't cheap around here, It will cost your morals a hit, A week's stay demands a life's fee, And if you wish to stay for an eternity, Your soul will be your room key. The inferno has no need for cash, it doesn't burn on gas nor wood, But souls lost, misunderstood, Too scared of the cold, of the unknown, of shame. fuel the flame, One day I'll leave, debts paid, bones mended, Before the cost is too high, and my stay extended. *efx*

Sea dreams The experience of walking on a beach Clouding my imagination My thoughts like clouds above mountains The night bright like stars Palm tress stretching tall towards the sky The feeling of being mesmerized The sensation of floating from deep water It all seems like a dream that I'm yet to awake from. I don't want to wake up, I don't want to leave this free space. Where I'm allowed to live my wildest tales, where one isn't bothered by the presence of others, like an alien from outer space, other species irrelevant. Here i get to be myself, aware of my flaws, but no one's counting mistakes, no one's keeping books on my blames. I get to express my hidden flames, I sit with myself, I find the time that I need I reflect one upon the other, I discover a multitude of colors. While looking at this beach, as I walk along the shores, my feet covered in sand, I realize how nature mimics the soul, how it all comes together, from crushing waters to gushing winds, from raging fire, to tidal waves I see my calmness, my rage, my love and my hate. I see it all together holding one form, one meaning. I see the balance between yin and yang. Chaos can be contained and from my dream i will wake up, fom where I came from I will depart. "The two shall stay separate, one is reality, one is a dream!" Merob~k and *efx*

Not one to lose words If I said I was lost for words, That I could not string up melodies to sing you a song, That I could not write you down pages to books of confessions, That I couldn't find the syllables to rhyme your beautiful name into 3000 poems, You would know then that the fire has been quenched by rain. For even when I am lost in your gaze, There are sentences, paragraphs, and tales of love I long to whisper in your face. But if I say I am lost for words, what I mean is "my words have fallen on deaf ears". My syllables, songs, poems, and tales, However many they are, Will all be lost on you, they will soar over your head. And I will say, I am lost for words. *efx*

Your word Your word is a double-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12), It separates my flesh, spirit, and soul. Your word is a burning fire (Jeremiah 23:29), It purges my evil thoughts and keeps my mouth in check. Your word is living water (John 4:10), It quenches my everlasting thirst. Your word is an eternal promise (Psalm 119:89), It is trustworthy to save throughout generations. Your word is an imperishable seed (1 Peter 1:23), It endures my faith taller, your grace wider. Your word is a light on a hilltop (Matthew 5:14), It reveals the road of the righteous and guides me higher. Your word is life (John 6:63), It resurrects those who believe and gives them breath. Your word is peace (John 14:27), It gives an everlasting rest and calms the stormy sea. Your word is a healer (Psalm 107:20), It restores the broken and binds up their wounds. Your word is hope (Romans 15:4), It comforts the saddened and lifts up their moods. Your word is a shepherd (Psalm 23:1), It finds the lost and leads them to the green pastures. Your word is love (1 John 4:8), It forgives all my transgressions and gives me a new life. *efx*

Your word Your word is a double-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12), It separates my flesh, spirit, and soul. Your word is a burning fire (Jeremiah 23:29), It purges my evil thoughts and keeps my mouth in check. Your word is living water (John 4:10), It quenches my everlasting thirst. Your word is an eternal promise (Psalm 119:89), It is trustworthy to save throughout generations. Your word is an imperishable seed (1 Peter 1:23), It endures my faith taller, your grace wider. Your word is a light on a hilltop (Matthew 5:14), It reveals the road of the righteous and guides me higher. Your word is life (John 6:63), It resurrects those who believe and gives them breath. Your word is peace (John 14:27), It gives an everlasting rest and calms the stormy sea. Your word is a healer (Psalm 107:20), It restores the broken and binds up their wounds. Your word is hope (Romans 15:4), It comforts the saddened and lifts up their moods. Your word is a shepherd (Psalm 23:1), It finds the lost and leads them to the green pastures. Your word is love (1 John 4:8), It forgives all my transgressions and gives me a new life. *efx*

Indifference I once believed That love and hate were foes Until I read a line That said "The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference." At first, I was confused, some might even say perplexed But as I read it over again I understood the sense. If love is sacrifice, to endure in all the pain And hate is to destroy, To kill a mocking bird Indifference is to behold A fellow brother's ruin To watch a sister's death And then, to turn away With no care in the world. Love demands patience It requires forbearance Hatred wastes your time Consumes all of your life Indifference is ignorance It bids you to be numb It demands you die inside. If love inspires passion And hatred stirs up wrath Indifference sparks nothing A void of all that matters. Love can heal the wounded It fades away past scars, Hatred can breed more pain Leave a mark on impressionable minds, Indifference can kill the soul And leave it cold and vain Forever traped in hell. Love can make us joyful Hatred can make us gloomy Indifference can make us dull And rob us of our sanity. Love can move the world Hatred can tear it apart Indifference can watch it burn While grining from left to right. *efx*

From: The self To: My heart Concerning your questions I don't mean to hurt you. My heart I don't mean to deny you what you crave But I have to be realistic and careful I can't just chase after what I can't have. I'm not wiser than you I just know the consequences And I promise you this one thing I'm only trying to protect you. I don't mean to torture you. My heart I don't mean to make you suffer and doubt But I have to be cautious and discreet I can't just expose what you feel. I would have to think it over Before, you get us in a train wreck. I'm not cruel to you. My heart I don't mean to stab you or break you And I do feel your love for me With every beat and every breath. You are the reason I exist You are my everything. But I can't lose myself, my heart, please try to understand Even when it hurts Push the dark thoughts away. There will come a day When more gentle hands will hold you To love and cherish you. When someone sweet will hold you To love and adore you But until then, my heart We have to be wiser than strong We have to wait for the right person and the right time, To live and love as we please. *efx*

From: The heart To: My self Unanswered questions How can you do this to your heart, my love? How can you deny me your heart what I crave? You have the power to give me everything You can make my dreams come true. You are wiser than me So you must know I beg you just this one thing: Why won't you let me live? How can you torture me, my love? How can you make me suffer and doubt? You give me a glimpse of heaven one second You throw me into hell the next. You give me a taste of heaven one moment You cast me like a demon the next How can you be so cruel, my love? How can you stab me ? How can you break me? Don't you feel my love for you With every beat and every breath? You are the reason I exist You are my everything. How can you lose faith, my love? How could you give up? There will come a day When more gentle hands will hold me To love and cherish me. When someone sweet will hold me To love and adore me. Please don't push them away Before they even have a chance I am stronger than you think I dont need this many walls. *efx*

Hear I am again, Back where I started, Failure after failure after failure, Again and again and again. I have become what I fear most, My ignorance has blinded me, I can't tell white from black, It is all a moral gray area now. My conscious unclear, My mind tangled up, And my heart no heat can warm it up, It has turned to stone, In its icy cold throne it beats, Black blood that numbs the whole. My God, my God, Don't hide your face from me, Don't meet me with the wrath I deserve, Grant me grace, which I don't deserve. A lost child in the wilderness, Trying to survive on my own, By day I roam wild and free, But the night is too dark and lonely. Find me from the place I am hiding, Rescue me from my own hands, Hold my tongue from foolish banter, Guide my heart back to your home. Give me a new heart, Give me a new name, Burn the black blood in my veins, Give me strength to call you by name.

The worth of a friend "The stones you have today, might end up being the diamonds you will look for tomorrow" Merob~k I have seen people disregard the worth of friendship. It's just a now, in the moment thing they say. I wish people understood the value of friendship. Both what it brings with it and what it takes away. Today it might just seem like your friends with the people your friends with just because circumstances brought you to be in the same place, and now your friends. How many people does life throw at us in the name of circumstances? How many people do we see and end up in the same place with? Are we friends with all those people that circumstance brought us to? No! We always choose who we want our friends to be, we make a decision. It's just lame to blame your "life circumstances" and say it forced you to be friends with the people your friends with. Why do we forget that everything happens for a reason, your in someone's life not just because random circumstances brought you together, But because that's what was supposed to happen. Anyways try to cherish and value the friends you have. "The stones you have today, might end up being the diamonds you will look for tomorrow" Merob~k

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:25 - 32 NIV

i look around but all i see is what i cannot find spent all my savings just for you to leave nothing behind nothing behind except for your fading scent with lingering memories that leave me upset upset not because it ended nor how it could've been settled but only because i had to be the one left stranded stranded bare naked in the desert all my scars glowing the brightest everyone turns to me, glaring as if they were the fairest fairest oh mirror mirror on the wall who's at fault for it all? was it I that loved too fiercely or the one who didnt bother at all? @an_infp