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901
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901
I see I wasn’t running from the war
back then. I was running from the peace.
The love I did not believe I was worth.
And because that lie held so much grief,
I don’t know that I ever got over you
as much as I got under
the engine of myself
to fix the machine of my love,
but it still runs way too much,
if you know what I mean,
and I know you know what I mean,
because this was not the first lifetime
we said goodbye
without wanting to say goodbye,
Was it?
— Andrea Gibson.
901
Spit me back into the mouth of God.
Let him choke.
His muffled shrieks remind me of my mother and my childhood.
My mother never loved me
How do I explain that the trees are too tall?
That the wind is too strong and I am too small.
My mother never loved me
God is choking.
The trees are too tall.
I ask God, do you want me here?
Is there enough room?
I can be smaller, if you ask.
I can be as small as you want me to be.
— Hannah Green, from “My Mother Never Loved Me.”
901
To LOVE SOMEONE LONG-TERM IS TO
ATTEND A THOUSAND FUNERALS OF THE PEOPLE THEY USED TO BE.
The people they're too exhausted to be any longer. The people they don't recognise inside themselves anymore. The people they grew out of, the people they never ended up growing into. We so badly want the people we love to get their spark back when it burns out; to become speedily found when they are lost. But it is not our job to hold anyone accountable to the people they used to be. It is our job to travel with them between each version and to honour what emerges along the way. Sometimes it will be an even more luminescent flame. Sometimes it will be a flicker that disappears and temporarily floods the room with a perfect and necessary darkness.
— @somethoughtseeds on tumblr.
901
what colour would god bleed?
i know about julius caesar.
he claimed absolute power
and they stabbed him twenty-three times
in his own arena of justice.
so here's the question:
by what right did god
earn his throne?
(spluttering answers.
he didn't have to earn it, they'll say.
he's god.)
the greatest misnomer
in literary history?
"the republic of heaven".
(or maybe i just missed out
on the elections.)
the angels dared to stand against
the tyrant god once,
and he consigned them to hell
for eternity.
(i call lucifer to the witness stand.)
maybe god's brutus is waiting
amongst the wings.
tyrannicide's a beautiful word
iỈ you look at it from the right angle.
— E.h.
901
When I'm bent over wishin' it was over
Makin' all variety of vows I'll never keep
I try to remember the wrath of the devil
Was also given him by God
