Natalia Tokar | Native-Like Fluency

A NEW BLOG POST - Will you achieve absolute fluency if you move to an English-speaking country?

Intelligence is the ability to understand many ideas. Wisdom is the ability to identify the few ideas worth understanding. Wisdom without intelligence can still lead to a good, simple life. Intelligence without wisdom is a special (and dangerous) form of stupidity.

Join the Sunday Practice tomorrow, July 16, 2023, to actively self-correct your old, speaking habits. If you’re a member but don’t have access to the exercises or Sunday Practice Replays, you can upgrade your membership. You’ll find our plan for July and the links to RSVP and upgrade tour membership here

When I studied the English language in college, I used to have a “them” vs. “us” mentality. As I studied other cultures and traveled to new countries, I inevitably stereotyped people and put them in boxes. Germans are stiff and boring. Americans suck at geography. Russians drink too much.   I would show the same resume to potential employers in Germany and the US. People in the U.S would say, “Oh, that’s interesting! You’ve done so many different things in life. We value your curiosity, adaptability, and entrepreneurial spirit.” I’d show the same resume in Germany, and all I heard again and again was “Why did you change jobs every three years? Are you sure you can focus?” That’s how I learned that “Germans value stability”, and “Americans value creative problem solvers.” I unconsciously labeled Germans as “bad”, and Americans as “good”, because I hated the idea of having a boring job for decades, even if that meant stability and social status.  Only years later did I realize that people have always been the way they are, and they never needed my opinions. It was me who judged them based on what I thought to be “normal” and acceptable. I used to tell myself the story that they’re different. In fact, I was the different one in their world. It was me who traveled to their country, learned their language, and wanted to find a job there. I was a foreigner, while they were at home. And yet I made judgments about who they were and whether their homes were “normal”. That’s when it hit me that stereotyping people means judging them, and that it takes a few extra steps to see past those stereotypes in order to understand where people are coming from. I couldn’t speak their language well enough. I didn’t understand everything they told me, so I had to imagine the parts of the stories that I didn’t understand.  The first time I traveled to the U.S I didn’t dare to admit to people that I was able to understand only about a third of that they were telling me. I kept answering the questions that were never asked, failed to hold a conversation, and said stupid things. One day, I went to the beach with the guy I liked. He was American. He said something about my bathing suit. That was the only word I recognized in what he said. I was sure that he gave me a compliment. So, I said “Thank you!” He laughed. He repeated what he said and explained it a few more times to me. He actually said that the color of my bathing suit had faded away quickly in just a matter of days. He said, “Your bathing suits started looking worse”, and I replied with “Thank you!”🤦‍♀️ I lived in my own world and listened only to the words that I could recognize and understand while ignoring what people actually meant to say.  ….and then I judged them for not living up to my expectations. I was so unaware of this pattern. I wholeheartedly believed that “they” were weird, and everybody in my culture confirmed those stereotypes. I didn’t speak their language and thus couldn’t see the world with their eyes. When I learned to communicate my worldview, my emotions, and my values in English, and most importantly, when I learned to give feedback to native speakers of English, I realized that we’re not that different. People across the world share universal human values: family, stability, love, health, genuine connection, intimacy, career, growth, honesty, etc. They simply communicate them differently. There’s no “us” vs. “them”, there’s only “us”. Lesson 1 for me was that we don’t see people the way THEY are. We see them the way WE are. If I stereotype people, it’s because I prefer stereotyping to understanding. Lesson 2 was that English is not the goal, it’s the tool. I continue learning English to be able to connect with people on a deeper level. I know that they understand how I feel, because they’re also human, but it’s my job to learn to communicate what I understand in their language. 

Please check out the message and the link above ⬆️️️️️️️ I recorded a video tutorial that explains how to practice your listening skills correctly and mindfully, and how to avoid common mistakes and pitfalls. The worst thing you can be doing with your time is practicing the wrong way while "hoping for the best"

We created a new video for you that explains how to do The Synchrnization Exercise correctly. Watch the video to learn: - how this exercise helps - three typical mistakes that people make - five tips to get 100% results from the exercise - the step-by-step exercise protocol

All learning must lead to change. To become a good learner capable of personal transformation, you must possess well-developed meta skills. Meta skills can’t be acquired separately from the specific skill or subject you are learning. If someone tries to sell you a workshop (or worse, a course) on metacognition, run! The development of meta skills occurs during the practical learning of down-to-earth skills, such as English fluency, for example. Meta skills are permanent, that’s why they’re a worthwhile investment. Hard skills need to be proven every 2 years with certificates like IELTS; most soft skills, such as the ones you have probably put on your resume (“public speaking”, “leadership”, “project management”) are lost within 2 months after training if not practiced frequently and given quality feedback. The ability to learn new skills lies within the realm of meta skills. Once strengthened, they’re yours. Forever, empowering you to achieve mastery repeatedly. Be embracing change and welcoming crises, you can create desired transformations every 7 months instead of having to deal with life crisis every 7 years. Meta skills allow you to consciously change your autopilot mode and correct unconscious patterns. They are the cheapest and the most effective learning strategy, although they take time to learn and require guidance and constructive feedback from the right people. To attain native-like fluency, you must learn to continuously refine your English skills using the most effective methods. Strong meta skills are vital for both learners and teachers. If you’re a teacher, being a good learner is crucial for credibility and positive influence. ❤️ Applications for the upcoming cohort of my “Native-Like Fluency Program” are now open!!! Start date: August 6, 2023 A 6-month transformational journey. Intense and so worthwhile! https://nataliatokar.me/nativelikefluency

An example of a learner who knows what she's doing. A reminder - "Pronunciation and accent are different things" Fix your pronunciation to create clarity in your conversations. Don't worry about your accent until you've mastered pronunciation. https://youtu.be/tVqcjjuDLRQ

Learn more and join us here http://newsletter.nataliatokar.me/page37830657.html

Sentence stress, and how to do it correctly ✅ Sentence stress is a pattern of stressed and unstressed words across a sentence. The emphasis is on words that carry important information: - nouns - verbs - adjectives - negatives - numbers A word is stressed correctly, when the stressed syllable of that word is longer, louder, and higher in pitch. I’m showing you the software that can help you check if you’re stressing words enough. “Enough” means that you’re creating a clear contrast between stressed and unstressed words. You need to know how to measure your results and what measurement system can even apply to improving your fluency. If there are no long and short vowels in your first language, or if all syllables are stressed exactly the same in your first language (Spanish, Portuguese, etc..), it’s probably difficult for you to hear if the word/syllable is long enough. Use this tool and join the community of practice to PRACTICE the rhythm of English as opposed to reading about it 😉 Apply here Nataliatokar.me/community Doors open on July 5. #nataliatokar #nativelikefluency

How to self-correct. Watch me do it in real time https://youtu.be/Oi6_zf2_97k

Before/After: my spontaneous speaking skills and clarity in 2020 and 2023 I am updating instructions and lessons for the Resource Library, and I found this recording.... Just wanted to show you how my speaking skills have changed.

Tomorrow I'll post a new synchronization exercise for everyone to practice their listening skills. It's going to be based on a scene from the new Netflix movie - The Mother. Make sure you subscribe to the new channel - THE Exercises https://youtu.be/8BFdFeOS3oM