briefcase.

'noonefuckinasked' rant

a life where you can exist quietly among trees, rivers, and open skies should've been the default, not a privilege reserved for those who can afford it.

and its sad, really sad and i will never understand why is it this way and why people are not mad enough. a life as such is meant to be the default but guess what to live around nature comfortably will cost you you both an arm and a leg. the ability to wake up to birds instead of traffic, to sit under trees without worrying about rent, deadlines, or whether the land will eventually become another apartment complex... for many people, that's no longer ordinary life. it's something you have to buy.

one thing that ive come to realise this year is that being happy is very simple but never easy. I've spent so much time worrying about a lot of things and wondering if im doing enough, but the older i get, i stop viewing my life as this one project and feeling this incessant need to prove myself. ive been experiencing more special moments of presence where im simply living my life instead of looking at it from outside at all times. i want my life to be a collection of more and more of these simple moments where I don't feel the need to be anyone else or to be anywhere else, or to even accomplish anything. i sit with nature and just feel happy and sometimes i think that this is the way it's supposed to be. i love feeling in depth and expressing myself as much as i can. everyone out there is looking for a purpose to their life and i believe maybe mine is to just live as deeply as i can.

im losing my spark, please light me on fire 🔥

life's been downhill ever since "itni shakti hume dena daata" prayers stopped.

i so wish i could speak french, it sounds so hawt.

🥂i speak loudly and I'm straightforward, please excuse me. no more hypocrisy, im leaving. i'm fed up with people who beat around the bush. look at me, anyway, idon't hold any grudges, and that's just how i am.🥂

i don't want to attend classes today.

this has become a frequent occurrence. i dont understand why.

my heart beating like it's tryna escape my ribcage? someone tell me what tf even happened.

+6 hours classes and tons lot of crashing out cause i feel so behind.

does all of this sound like a privilege? YES, because it is! im aware of the privileges i have. a good environment, spacious house, greenery all around, fresh water. i have all of it and I don't want to let go.

i know once i get anywhere I'll find reasons to love it. that's how its always been, but letting go is always hard. if i could stay, i would stay forever.