The Willie Turner Diaries
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agosto '24
agosto '24
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There hasn’t been concern over the White House indoor plumbing since 27th President William Howard Taft got stuck in his own bariatric bathtub. However, The Willie Turner Diaries are receiving reports that White House officials are worried whether The Vance Famiy will be accustomed to using indoor facilities. The White House began with indoor plumbing in 1833, when President Andrew Jackson installed iron pipes in the Ground Floor Corridor and a bathing room in the East Wing. The original designs called for hollowed-out logs, but iron pipes were used instead due to fire concerns. The system was primarily for fire protection, but was also used for bathing. The Trump team appeared to be pandering to a new demographic at the recent RNC when an Indian woman sang gobbledygook on stage as audience members looked on in horror.
| 2 | BREAKING NEWS:
“Lindy” now replaces “Based” as top word used by White Nationalists to describe all things good.
Lindy: Beautiful; timeless; Deco. Dapper. Perfect. Stylish. Often in reference or comparison to Charles Lindbergh- Nazi, eugenicist, traditionalist, racialist | 0 |
| 3 |  known primarily for their visceral Nazi imagery and propensity for facial tattoos, Americas favorite neo-Nazi group BLOODTRIBE hosted it’s first annual Blood Drive. Members of the BLOODTRIBE donated blood that will hopefully go to some lucky recipients. | 0 |
| 4 |  Hot off the press!
https://t.me/willieturnerdiaries | 0 |
| 5 |  What kind of American are you? | 0 |
| 6 |  An area man was shocked to discover that his local Active Club was actually just a few Patriot Front members looking to score some new recruits. The Willie Turner Diaries spoke to the young man who had this to say:
“I showed up to my first vetting expecting to throw up some stickers or something. After a weird pat down, they explained that I wouldn’t be allowed to do any IRL activism unless I joined Patriot Front.”
Active Clubs have been somewhat quiet recently, and in many White Nationalists circles, people are starting wonder why? Our source went on to say- “I told them if I wanted to join PF, I would have emailed them. They told me Patriot Front was better, which just made me wonder why they told me they were an Active Club. I really felt like I was scammed.” The Willie Turner Diaries will continue to follow this developing story. | 0 |
| 7 |  It was reported last year that supposed Ukrainian mercenary, and BLOODTRIBE member Boneface, can’t actually speak Ukrainian. But now even more shocking revelations have surfaced. We sat down for an interview with the mysterious Boneface, and made a startling discovery. The guy can’t speak English either. Grunts, groans, and whimpers seemed to be the Bonefaces only form of expression, that and facial tattoos of course. If Ukrainian stolen valor wasn’t bad enough, it appears as if the troubled Boneface has devolved into using only primitive forms of communication.
-The Willie Turner Diaries | 0 |
| 8 |  The White Nationalist Organization known as “Patriot Front” announced their plans to attend a Memorial Day model train convention in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Leader, Thomas Rousseau told reporters from The Willie Turner Diaries that all the group’s members share an affinity for model trains. Rousseau says he based the groups uniforms after famous 19th century American train conductor, Casey Jones.
-The Willie Turner Diaries | 0 |
| 9 |  Aaron Smith, the newest addition to a local Active Club, mistakenly brought a tray of freshly baked baklavas to Tuesday’s protest outside of a neighborhood bookstore that was hosting a drag queen story hour. The leader of the Active Club, who goes by ThvmosaestheticXIV on Telegram, had this to say-
“I fuckin’ told the guy, bring your BALACLAVAS with you to the rally. Betty Crocker over here shows up with a tray of honey pistachio baklavas. He was still wearing the oven mits! They were actually pretty good though.”
-The Willie Turner Diaries | 0 |
| 10 |  A reporter for The Willie Turner Diaries recently went deep undercover for a groundbreaking story on the conditions inside one of America’s hottest Neo-Nazi groups. Sizzling details have boiled to the surface.
“It’s fucking hot as hell in these red sweatshirts, and I got a heat rash on my face from this goddamn ski mask!”, our anonymous reporter exclaimed. “I don’t know how these guys rally in places like Florida and Tennessee with the humidity like this.” Temperatures reached 98° in Sarasota this Saturday. Partly cloudy tomorrow with a chance of scattered showers.
-The Willie Turner Diaries | 0 |
| 11 | The White Nationalist Organization known as “Patriot Front” announced their plans to attend a Memorial Day model train convention in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Leader, Thomas Rousseau told reporters from The Willie Turner Diaries that all the group’s members share an affinity for model trains. Rousseau says he based the groups uniforms after famous 19th century American train conductor, Casey Jones.
-The Willie Turner Diaries | 0 |
