Monachopsis ☕️🕯️

I swear I don’t even care anymore They’re ungrateful Straight-up fools

and I keep asking myself “What’s wrong with them It’s not normal

In some points and situations,, sometimes I just think too much about leaving all this shit behind… ‘cause this ain’t a life It’s just fucked up people with fucked up lives a damn useless, catastrophic existence

A cup of coffee and walking away from everything. Silence and no conversation. The absence of feeling toward what has passed or what is yet to come. No guilt, no harsh judgments toward myself. No overthinking—just letting things flow on their own. Isolation for months and months. That’s all, that’s truly all I need right now.

My life might soon take a different turn. I’m about to enter a new chapter but I’m not ready. Something deep inside me resists this change. I don’t want it. I think I might refuse it. I wish I could change slowly, like the seasons do. To live each phase fully, to feel it to the edges of my soul. Not skip over it, not mix it with things that don’t belong. That’s how I’ve always been. I want to learn more, to keep searching, to soak myself in knowledge and culture. I want to experience so much\\so much more. But society keeps spinning the same tired wheel, and I refuse to be caught in it. I won’t be just another link in the chain.

My life might soon take a different turn. I’m about to enter a new chapter— but I’m not ready. Something deep inside me resists this change. I don’t want it. I think I might refuse it. I wish I could change slowly, like the seasons do. To live each phase fully, to feel it to the edges of my soul. Not skip over it, not mix it with things that don’t belong. That’s how I’ve always been. I want to learn more, to keep searching, to soak myself in knowledge and culture. I want to experience so much—so much more. But society keeps spinning the same tired wheel, and I refuse to be caught in it. I won’t be just another link in the chain.

I hated all this shit What hypocrites they r pretending to be perfect and ohh what’s this? Has everyone suddenly become a good person now?

I kept my words and feelings inside me all that time For many years I did nothing but remain silent And on the day I finally spoke I became in their eyes the one who causes problems.

and I still stuck in that time

At this point, I'm fucked up

I’ll remember you till I die 2/5/2018

The perfect in the pics

💗💗💗🎐🎐

One day

When we love ourselves, we create a solid foundation for forming meaningful and enriching relationships. Self-love is not just about personal comfort; it’s about self-respect and understanding our worth. Through loving ourselves, we invite connections that align with our true values and beliefs. We start to attract relationships that reflect the love we have for ourselves, rather than settling for less than we deserve. The quote “We accept the love we think we deserve” articulates this idea perfectly. If we do not value ourselves, we might unconsciously accept relationships that reinforce that lack of self-worth. Conversely, when we embrace self-love, we set a standard for how we expect to be treated. We teach ourselves and others how to honour and respect our needs and boundaries. It’s only by nurturing our self-love that we can truly invite and appreciate the love and connections that align with our highest standards. Loving ourselves also equips us to approach relationships from a place of abundance rather than neediness. It allows us to engage with others authentically and healthily, without relying on them to fill gaps in our self-esteem. This self-love creates a space where genuine, reciprocal connections can flourish. We become capable of giving and receiving love in its most enriching forms, rather than settling for relationships that do not meet our needs or reflect our true worth. So while it’s natural to desire romantic connections and to feel their importance, it’s crucial to remember that our relationship with ourselves is the cornerstone of all other relationships. By cultivating self-love, we not only improve our own lives but also set the stage for healthier, more fulfilling connections with others. In the end, it’s through loving ourselves that we can truly invite and experience the kind of love we think we deserve. As I journey through this formative stage of my life, I'm learning to redefine my understanding of love and self-worth. It's not about finding someone to complete me, but rather finding someone who complements me—a partner who sees and accepts me for who I am, flaws and all. In the meantime, I'm focusing on cultivating a deeper relationship with myself and learning to love and cherish the person I am becoming. Yes, it hurts to feel like I'm missing out on something so central to the human experience. But I'm slowly coming to realise that being single doesn't make me any less worthy of love and happiness. If anything, it's an opportunity to prioritise my growth and well-being, to pursue my passions and dreams without the constraints of a romantic relationship. So, while the ache of loneliness may linger, I take solace in the knowledge that I am enough, just as I am. I hold onto the hope that one day, I'll find someone who sees the beauty in my imperfections and loves me for who I am. Embrace your journey, love yourself fiercely, and remember: you are enough, just as you are. A Prayer for Self-Love and Acceptance - khadija.