اگزیستانسیال

sorry for being weird and unstable. it will happen again so prepare yourself for even worse.

let me get the permissions from my brain about it cause if he doesn't like it, he will fuck me up for the rest of my life because of it.

sometimes i ask my brain that what are we for each other bc we're everything and nothing at the same time to each other.

the idea of trying to know me better is to reserve a lobotomy section after it.

all this going through hell and back for what? surviving another day? what's next? tomorrow? fuck no.

i would really like a break. idk from what tho but i can feel the need of it in my flesh and bones.

this is how my mood changes in a day:

2:59 horrors of my adolescense. they force me in this cell, they beat me in this hell. putrid vile retching seed, the taste never leaves.

the weariness of being in this world, with the memories of sin.

“stop!” “no!” are meaningless words to you, what was i supposed to do? “stop!” “no!” repeated in my mind as the horrors confide.

ah, to be wrong without carrying the guilt.

oh to be wrong without carrying the guilt.

if it's wrong, then why it feels so right?

they keep threatening us with hell, but little did they know that we're currently living in it.

sometimes it feels like someone has cursed me bc there's no way this is how it really is.