Shitpost Palace

The reign of Pharaoh Earnhardt I was long and just, and his enemies met a grisly end at "The Wall". The pyramid in Memphis was built to secure his sarcophagus, emblazoned with mysterious symbol "3". -a historian, 3000AD, probably

She walked into my office the way slinkies go down the stairs. "I hear you're a detective, handsome." "You know what I am? CLOSED, you STUPID BITCH. Get out of my office." I heard later she led some other private eye to his doom and he ended up face down in a sunset boulevard swimming pool.

Elves when they catch an online racist banging one of their donkey eared elf broads

Italian plumbers when they see a turtle

Baader-Meinhog gang

When I tack on "This is not legal advice" to a statement I'm not tell you that I'm not a lawyer, I'm telling you that my advice is illegal.

A kosher wine expert is called a shalommelier

Göbbels at the Sportpalast, 1943: Ich frage euch: Wollt ihr den totalen Ethik im Videospieljournalismus?

Going to learn to uncalcify pineal gland and vibrate at high frequencies so I can telepathically project body horror images of neovaginas and frankenpenises into the minds of libtards.

Nostalgiamaxxing on a Friday. Time to break out the vintage Ecto-Cooler.

*cherrywood blocks hitting each other* YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo ong? 🥦

Personalized ads hitting too close to home and I don't like it

Xi's face while Biden calls him a dictator

"Whoa, Bibi needs me?!"

"drink ent draught about it halfling"

I've been calling short people Hobbits and they aren't thrilled about it