Our Side of the Story

The same man who admitted to raping about 12 young boys.

A documentary on the prostitution of young boys in the city Peshawar, Pakistan, made me hate every truth I built in my mind. Yes, you’ve read it right. In a vicinity of the city where bus and truck drivers are dominant, Prostitution of young boys, starting from the age of six to eight because of the poverty and unfortunate living situations they’re forced to go out and fetch money for their family. Collecting trash and selling it off for recycling. “How much are you supposed to take home every day?” The interviewer asks “200 rupees at least” “What if you don’t get that much, what will your parents do to you?” “They beat me” When these boys roam around the streets, they get catcalls from the drivers, if they have homes to go back to they are lucky enough to escape. But most of them are runaways and orphans, if they don’t make enough money for their food and a bed for their night, they sell their bodies. It is such a normal trend for them and everyone that no one does anything to stop this. One conductor of a bus who has engaged in raping a young boy says “he was that kind of kid”, insinuating the boys ask for it and are happy to do it. The world is not beautiful, so many vile and gruesome things are happening beyond you’d like to believe. Step out of the bubble of reality you’ve made for yourself and see things for what they really are.

‘እኔ አፈር ልብላ' warms my heart.

I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to write about some things, people.

The notion of things fleeting and passing like nothing is so fascinating to me. An inferno that robbed you off your peace and torture you as if your skin was being peeled off, now it’s just gone and there’s nothing but memories left. The same truth for happy days too.

ከእናት ዓለም ጋር እያወራን...this was the first time we had a long conversation in a while. በብዙ ነው የምቀናባት (the healthy one), her ability to talk about the hardest moments of her life without tears and ሳግ ሳይተናነቃት is the top of the list. መድሀንያለም ያሳያችሁ after she tells me she went through things I’d simply give up on ጉዋ ብላ "እግዚአብሔር ምን እንደሚሰራ እና እንደሚያስተምረኝ አይታወቅም" like?? Where does this positivity and faith come from because I want one. ምፅ አልጨረስኩም...watching her figure out what she wants to do and not worry about anyone’s opinion because she still has time and it’s never too late almost had my heart explode. I ask why እህ ከዛስ...guess what she says “ባክሽ ማሚዬ እግዚአብሔር የሚረፍድበት አምላክ አይደለም...he does things ሳይፈጥንም ሳይዘገይም" ሲጀመር እኔ መተንፈስም ማውራትም አልችልም...ዝም:: ብቻ this conversation healed so many of the bruised pieces of my heart...ዘይገርም ነው!

Lord help my fragile heart, cause this??? Expect a long ass essay because I’m so not done with this movie.

I’m not okay after this. •Past Lives (2023)•

I love how forgiving God is, so pure, so certain, so lovingly forgiving.

እናንተ? ለካ the world is way ahead of us. Things to be considered as taboo or impractical are so normal that it’d be weird if we were without them. It’s quite terrifying to know that it will only be going forward from here on and baffle us even more. With books, films and songs nostalgia’ን ስናሳድድ ህዝቤ ጥሎን እልም...እልም ይበሉ እሱስ "ከስልጣኔያቸውም" ሆነ ከ "awakening” ምንም ጠብም ፍቅርም የለኝ እንዲሁ ነገሩ ገርሞኝ እንጂ::

My heart aches for so many reasons. The colors, every emotion and words. The nostalgia for a time I didn’t even exist in. •Taza•