Our Side of the Story

Not a fan of dos and don’ts but found this being somehow precise.

How to love someone with Anxiety issues? -Someone with anxiety is inclined to assume everyone is going to leave. So much so, sometimes they might be the ones to ruin a relationship. The truth is they battle something they can’t control and there is a sense of insecurity within themselves when it comes to relationships. 1. Remember they’re worth fighting for. - It might be hard sometimes, there might be stupid fights of scenarios they’ve created in their own head. But more than anything, they’re worth fighting for, if you can fight with them through this, it’ll come back to you ten folds. 2. The phrase, ‘It’s okay,’  can never be used enough. -It’s two words. Two words that stop every thought running through their head. And honestly, you can never say it enough. 3. Sometimes you just have to listen. -They’re going to play out these situations in their mind and jump from point A to point B, sometimes you’re not even going to know how they got there, best thing u can do is let them go off on their tangent even if there’s no solution. 4. Never tell them, ‘'you’re overreacting'’. -To you, it might seem irrational. But to them whatever they open up to you about, it’s something that actually keeps them up at night. So just take it as best you can. 5. They probably won’t sleep through the night. -Whether it takes them a while to fall asleep or stay asleep, you’ll be woken up by them at 3 am as they lay there wide awake. Just hold them close and the comfort in your presence might be enough to get them back to sleep. 6. Remember it’s not that they don’t trust you. They’re just scared. -You say it’s an ex and in their mind, they jump to cheating. You say it’s a friend and in their mind, it’s someone trying to break you two up. It’s not you and your relationship that isn’t trusted.. it’s every worse case scenario automatically playing out in their head and they hate themselves for it. 7. Don’t be mad if they send a double text. -You might turn your phone on, to four texts. If you can remember it’s not that they’re trying to be annoying. They care. They care too much and they know it makes them look bad. 8. Answering texts timely does   help more than you know. -You’ve probably noticed they answer embarrassingly fast and they know not everyone is like them but it helps when people understand it. It helps when you say ‘I can’t talk now this is why I’ll text you later.’ …Silence kills anyone with anxiety. It creates problems in their mind that aren’t even there. It ends in apologies that aren’t even needed. And it adds a layer of stress to their life they wish they could control. 9. Get them medical help when needed. SInce youre no certified professional, getting them medical help isnt something to be ashamed about. When anxiety gets out of hand medical/psychological help must be taken. 10. Once trust is gained they’ll   love you unbelievably hard. Someone with anxiety, if there is something they’re good at it’s love. If there’s something they’re strong in, it’s their ability to show you how much they adore and appreciate you. It might take them a while…to trust you but once they do their capacity to love you will fill you in ways, you didn’t know you were empty or even missing something." ik its tough to deal with people having anxiety issues but we cannot leave them alone. we need to be a helping hand and rescue them it costs nothing but patience and love.

The world and it’s unfairness back at it again💔

A conversation I over heard in the hair salon today made me obsess over the theory that victims of assault of any kind adapt to their abusers and develop an obscure bond with them. The hairdresser, a woman, with two children, a black eye and a possible divorcee had some complications with her husband as she said and he hit her. She filed a complaint against him, But she doesn’t seem to have the courage to let him go. She constantly kept talking about how he disrespected her and how much she loves/misses him all in one sentence. My issue isn’t with her but about a comment this woman (very older than any of us in the room) made. "ከመልካም ቤተሰብ ክፉ ባል ይሻላል" እንጃ እኔ about the point she tried to make. But somehow she was trying to convince the hairdresser not to divorce her husband because you know “children”. And "ከምንም ባልሽ ይሻልሻል" I don’t know how sure she is that this marriage won’t be a traumatic experience for the children. መካሪ ግን አንዳንዴ🤦🏽‍♀️ It was so disturbing to realize where we are at as a society and my heart broke for the women going through this everyday.

You get friends so you don't explain yourself too much. There is almost no need to interpret your jokes, your behavior, your habits, your quirks, and your temperaments.

Faith.

መልካም ቀን💜

No እንበል ዛሬ? No to trying to fit in with the “modern” world. Be weird. Be abnormal. No to ይሉኝታ. No to blurring boundaries. No to whatever makes you feel less of you are.

Whatever you went through in life make sure you dont rub it off on all the good hearts that want to love you. Dont make them carry a burden they had no hand in.

So today I was on the phone with a close family member, our conversation was mainly about trauma (የአእምሮ ጠባሳ) and how it consistently has a way of affecting our daily adulting even when we don’t notice it. Just as our conversation was about to end she said “I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt you without knowing it, can’t imagine what that would have done to you” This little acknowledgement healed some part of my insides. If only this ego recognition and surpassing existed in every family, even just a little.

He makes beautiful stuff!

Oftentimes, offense comes from insecurity and reality checks Instead of being defensive, be curious when you get offended

Once in a while, even more often take some time to be away from the environment you're used to. Unknowingly we identify ourselves with the people and situations surrounding us that once we're detached from them we don't know how to function. Learn to do some things alone. Validate your thoughts, journal them. Take care of your body, drink water and eat well. Before anything, be your own person.

Yesterday I saw people being so emotional and feeling loved just because someone thought of them enough to wrap them a gift. Celebrating this holiday just reminds me how I belittle the amazing gift CHRIST is.

መልካም ገና!