Revelations

“One winter evening, he had been waiting with his little sister for their father to come home from church. She was eight years old then, and he was twelve. Made sad by the pause between playing and eating, he had gone to the piano and had begun a piece by Mozart. It was the first time he had ever voluntarily gone to the piano. His sister left her picture book to dance to his music. She had never danced before. She danced gravely and carefully, a simple dance yet formal...As Miss Lonelyhearts stood at the bar, swaying slightly to the remembered music, he thought of children dancing. Square replacing oblong and being replaced by circle. Every child, everywhere; in the whole world there was not one child who was not gravely, sweetly dancing. He stepped away from the bar and accidentally collided with a man holding a glass of beer. When he turned to beg the man's pardon, he received a punch in the mouth. Later he found himself at a table in the back room, playing with a loose tooth. He wondered why his hat did not fit and discovered a lump on the back of his head. He must have fallen. The hurdle was higher than he had thought.”

> “One winter evening, he had been waiting with his little sister for their father to come home from church. She was eight years old then, and he was twelve. Made sad by the pause between playing and eating, he had gone to the piano and had begun a piece by Mozart. It was the first time he had ever voluntarily gone to the piano. His sister left her picture book to dance to his music. She had never danced before. She danced gravely and carefully, a simple dance yet formal...As Miss Lonelyhearts stood at the bar, swaying slightly to the remembered music, he thought of children dancing. Square replacing oblong and being replaced by circle. Every child, everywhere; in the whole world there was not one child who was not gravely, sweetly dancing. He stepped away from the bar and accidentally collided with a man holding a glass of beer. When he turned to beg the man's pardon, he received a punch in the mouth. Later he found himself at a table in the back room, playing with a loose tooth. He wondered why his hat did not fit and discovered a lump on the back of his head. He must have fallen. The hurdle was higher than he had thought.”

Rattle snakes groove to the sound of cumbia. Sipping on their cold glasses of milk, they gyrate their hips rhythmically. The very hips no one thought they had. #recommendations #music

I am, through experiences of my own and idols I look up towards, convinced that being the best at a cetain thing is nothing but the ability to break that thing down into the smallest managable system of chunks and powdering them one at a time. I base the entirety of my claim on the ground that all great men are system builders. Even the ones that could be described as system blowers do so systematically. An organism is the perfect model for systems. The kind with modular organs. Even the body without organs is an organ itself to an organism it cannot concieve of. A system is the overarching order of the known universe. Another aspect of a system that is usually overlooked is the rhizomatic link that exists between its parts. These roots are just as much a part of the system as the organ is. A schizophrenic structure of webs uphold a system that would have otherwise collapsed into itself. A multiplicity of organs with a difficiency in connection leads towards the end of mania. The forming of streams that begin and end definitively are instrumental. Which is not to say that disorder cannot be willed towards a certain end. It most certainly can, but by definition resists generic structures. Understanding it, however, is a system itself. No matter how unstandardized it is. systems, in the end, are then placed inside other systems ad infinitum. A system of systems is formed. chaos is harnessed and ascent, ensured.

confessions of a rabid monk The dim rays of dusk make their way down to my cave. Illumined and lifeless, lies a white horse across where i sit embracing my knees. I recognize the poor soul immediately. It is the very horse i struck to death two lifetimes ago on the 5th of november, 1883. Even my whip felt the error of her ways that day. she lied cold, lifeless and curled into herself for weeks. The memory of how that horse convulted before it gave off its final kick and died reigns over all my other memories. Late at night, when my fever has bested me, he comes to me and tells me he forgives me. I collapse and weep inconsolably at his hooves. Eventually, my rivers of tear would go dry and i would spring back up and start beating him even worse. The moon is here now. She compells me to crawl out of my lair. I make my way to her and sit still watching her by the end of the cliff. As a tear escapes the shackles of my eyelids and makes its way down my cheeks, the moon kisses me. An erotic kiss of death. I release my white disease into the world. My unleashed seed will forever pollute the earth. I look sideways to flnd gabriel sitting next to me. He looks tired. eternally tired. That's not very pleasant, i think to myself, to eternally be anything. Meanwhile, he is taking a cosmic drag from a glowing cigarette. Black fume that smells of wet trees comes rushing out of his mouth. He tells me his wings have been weighing on him and giving him the interdimensional blues. Instantly, he gets up and starts howling. What a sight it was; a howling angel. He then stopped abruptly, fell to the ground and sunk into a deep sleep. In the end, I became the protector of my sleeping angel from his insomniac demons.

The call of nature descends on you. An invisible, intangible pullulation gnaws at you from within. Levitation ensues. #recommendations #music

Almost famous(2000) By Cameron Crowe My letterboxd review: https://boxd.it/3XLMrN Kate Hudson was once a childhood crush of mine. Now, having seen Almost famous, I was reminded of why that was so. she was dreamy in all the right ways. Downright ethereal even. what I imagine a perfume to be if they took on the form of a human.  Here is bottled nostalgia for a time and place I have never known. For the sister I never had who turned me on to the music that set me free. For all the drugs I never took and the David foster Wallace mom i never had.  Oh, and there is so much hair in every frame. The cinematography presents moments to you as a flower submits itself unconditionally to a bee. What results from such an atmospheric incantation is what I like to call The haze.  solid 8/10 #recommendations #movies

What does the existence of the devil in one's youth and God in one's old age say of this God? What does this say of thou? Is age a virtue?

In the jazz tainted falling of sunlight, the birds said nothing. And the sky turned red. Mexican bunnies bled. Even I fled. But to whose arms? Into the embrace Of an arms dealer in Africa?

#recommendations #music