Comics

Now I'm tempted to start telling people that I secretly don't actually know how to do any physics calculations, and so all the answers in What If are based on me actually trying to do the thing and then reporting what happened, but phrased as if it's hypothetical.

Another option: "It is an honor to be the first human to set foot on the moon."

Poorly Drawn Lines – Mad at You

To that stranger on the KOOL Tree House chat room, I gotta hand it to you: You were, ultimately, not wrong.

Poorly Drawn Lines – In Life

Juraaaassic Park, Juraaaassic Park, God shed his grace on theeeee

'Why did you get into fluid dynamics?' 'Well, SOME planet has to have the coolest clouds, odds are it's not ours, and rockets are slow.'

Ground-pole-ball-pole can be fun if you shake the first pole to get the second one whipping around dangerously, but the ball at the joint gets torn apart pretty fast.

Poorly Drawn Lines – Interesting People

Poorly Drawn Lines – Pointless

In general, avoid exposure to any temperatures, pressures, particle energies, or states of matter that physicists think are neat.

If you reach 122, you get complete unrevertible editorial control over Jeanne Calment's Wikipedia article.

Poorly Drawn Lines – Been Through a Lot

Curdled milk, of a peculiar kind, made after a Bulgarian recipe and called "yaghurt," is now a Parisian fad and is believed to be a remedy against growing old. A correspondent who has tried it, says he would prefer to die young. (1905, The Elk Falls Journal)

NEGATIVE REVIEWS MENTION: Unreliable internet. POSITIVE REVIEWS MENTION: Unreliable internet.

Theoretical physicist: At the Planck length, uncountably many.

Poorly Drawn Lines – Optimist or Pessimist

Massage: Theoretical (10), Quantum (6), High-energy (2), Computational (1), Marine (1), Astro- (None)