Sad

A rush of racing thoughts is overwhelming me. I drift away in the slightest discomfort. I feel myself disappearing into a hole of paranoia. I feel stuck. I am stuck. And there is no way to escape through murk. In this moment, I wanna peel off all my skin to the bone. I long to be seen. I care to be heard. I ache to be voiced. I yearn to be expressed thoroughly. With this I stay within uncertainty, intertwined and wavering, mourning memories.

she never really quits she just says she did

i am not anyones priority and i have learned that silence is the answer people give when they dont care i am always the second choice the later reply the maybe the if there is time i watch how easily others are chosen how naturally they are wanted while i wait without being expected without being missed i am not angry anymore just tired of proving i matter tired of lowering my voice so others stay comfortable tired of understanding everyone while no one understands me being no ones priority teaches you how to survive alone how to stop asking how to stop hoping how to stop believing that one day someone will choose you without hesitation i give everything and receive patience instead i stay when others leave and still i am replaceable forgettable optional i exist in the background of peoples lives only noticed when i am useful and ignored when i need something in return and maybe that is the hardest part knowing you would show up for them every time but they would not do the same for you and so i carry myself quietly loving less expecting nothing and learning how to live without being chosen.

Okay but eyes never lie .

It's like I'm a in a show just performing through some else's eyes