هیچی برگر [﷼]

As White you move first, that’s not a vibe check, that’s the rules of chess, and yet here you are waiting for him to make the first move while your hand is already on the pieces, suboptimal. Looking at that hand placement hovering around the f/g pawn area; if this person is going 1.f3, congratulations, you’ve just played the Barnes Opening, formally recognized by as the single worst first move White can make, it blocks your own knight from f3, cracks open the e1–h4 diagonal so Black can just slam Qh4+ with zero setup, contributes absolutely nothing to center control, and if you follow it up with the equally brain dead g4, Black plays Qh4# and it’s over in two moves, literally the fastest loss in chess, self inflicted; if this person is going 1.f4 instead, the Bird’s Opening, okay slightly less shameful but Black immediately hits you with 1…e5 From’s Gambit, a pawn sac that punishes the kingside weakness you just voluntarily created, and you have to play perfectly to not just collapse onto yourself like a dying star; and if that hand is actually on the g pawn and you’re eyeing 1.g4, we’ve left chess entirely and entered a realm of absolute horse shit, you better consider your position close to lost before you’ve even touched a piece, Black plays 1…d5, builds a normal game, and watches you suffer with a wound of what’s left behind from how you shot yourself a hole on the kingside for no compensation whatsoever. 1.g3 is the reasonable option here which clearly this person who doesn’t know that white moves first, doesn’t know about, almost every candidate move from that hand position ranges from objectively bad to historically embarrassing hard 1/10 you better off washing dishes in the kitchen, please never touch another chess piece in your life. P.S: long ass candle btw

In UK, it was just recently that many realized jeets are fully and completely exempt from british knife control (knife control is funny either way), white people are also prohibited from forming "pretextual" religious organizations to gain the jeet exemption lmao absolute state of the world