Ahror

Bureaucracy after bureaucracy and finally this (completed in July, received it today), now it's officially official by the state law) @acceptthyself

This lady from spotify keeps telling me to tap some banner)) @acceptthyself

"You are much too exacting and hungry for this simple, easy-going and easily contented world of today. You have a dimension too many. Whoever wants to live and enjoy his life to-day must not be like you and me. Whoever wants music instead of noise, joy instead of pleasure, soul instead of gold, creative work instead of business, passion instead of foolery, finds no home in this trivial world of ours—” - Hermine from Steppenwolf Ahror's Thoughts | Beta

A few factors to mention from my end:

1. Reading was not supposed to be a 7.0 here because it was the only skill I finished with the confidence of getting at least an 8.0, which would have made the overall score an 8.0 as well. Retaking exists, I know, and it is so tempting for me to do so, which is what IDP wants here at the same time. I am not blaming them here, but my next attempt will definitely be with the British Council because of this. Speaking and Writing were fully deserved.

2. I have not prepared seriously for 4 years; never did I open any textbooks or attend any courses (my previous result was self-taught). The one thing I did was to keep my level as it was (I sharpened my English, so it didn't degrade and I was wrong to think it degraded).

3. A 7.0 was sufficient for me (to register for doctorate), as my previous certificate expired. Now that the goal has been achieved, I am not sure if I will retake the IELTS exam ever again.

4. I was using @BandBoostBot for taking Speaking and Writing mock exams, and it was consistently giving me 7 and 7.5 in both Writing and Speaking. This is proof that this bot is 99% accurate with actual exam results, so feel free to use it ;) @acceptthyself

Two things I have learned in life: 1. Everything a child says and does is an iteration of the same question: "Am I loved? Am I *really* loved?" 2. Nobody ever grows up. - Berto @acceptthyself

Exited from the exam. It genuinely feels like I am going to get 6.5 or even 6.0 and flop this bad. My English has degraded over the past 4 years apparently. Also tell me which moron writes 281 words for Task 1 alone instead of focusing more on Task 2 (300+)? @acceptthyself

>be me >sign up on chess.com and lichess >play 1 rated game on each >fluke a win on pure vibes and illegible moves >provisional rating jumps straight to 1680+ >close tabs immediately >never touch chess again >retired undefeated >Grandmaster with 100% winrate @acceptthyself

Any super-duper way to learn sign language under 10 minutes? How do I explain this seller that I need that specific product?

God bless science and innovation and specifically the person who figured out how to make anesthesia. I'm still under the influence of it (wisdom tooth) and literally can't speak right now. Just imagine the pain of extracting the tooth without it, reminds me of that scene from Cast Away(2000) film. @acceptthyself

On "Necessity is the mother of invention" In a resource-constrained environment, a man has no choice but to extract maximal utility from the few options in his arsenal. You see him pushing above average with strict discipline because he is acutely aware of his limitations compared to those living in abundance, he has no choice but to perform. There's also a term for this in creative/engineering psychology:

"Generative Constraint" - the law that creativity, elegance, and mastery do not precede limits; they are produced by them.

Sadriddin Ayni’s reported saying (when his son and daughter studied in Moscow) is that he sent little money to his son and more to his daughter, explaining that “wealth corrupts a son, but poverty harms a daughter.” Why does this dynamic invert between genders? It comes down to how Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs behaves under pressure: For a daughter, abundance acts as protective armor, shielding her dignity from the predatory risks of poverty so she can grow safely without compromising herself. For a son, scarcity provides the necessary friction against the world, forging his strength and agency without the rot of softness. Scarcity for females = External exploitation, dependence on bad actors Abundance for males = Entitlement, softness, nihilism @acceptthyself

Any strong dentists that you personally know in Tashkent/Chirchik? Any way to make an appointment on Sunday(tomorrow)? Life is throwing curveballs at me before the exam and I'm laughing right now at the irony with plain pain)))

Found another peak. @acceptthyself

On Action and Intelligence The universe is constructed in a way to humiliate you for not taking any action. The world simply doesn't care if you are smart, ambitious, or kind. You might have the perfect laid out plan for your life yet unless you take action on it, it is all useless. Intelligence part... sometimes it is too much, pattern recognition at the highest level... I believe it is a curse. You read the room and context very well, yet if you refuse to partake in small-talk you are rendered as an outcast in a matter of seconds. Yes, just by being yourself and then you think, what's the point? Politeness? You watch them perform that exhausting "politeness" and think why even bother? The paradox here is: your own stubbornness stops you moving through such world and take action in it. If only there was a way to turn off that stubborn voice. It is smart as we know it and it wants autonomy not someone dictating over what it does but at the same time stubborn and stupid enough to not understand that action is for its own good. @acceptthyself

Do you think it would pass as a reason to approve VISA? I will give this invitation away to someone in Berlin if needed, I don't think I can go ( @acceptthyself

"YouTube bros are like "wake up at 4am and run, that’s alpha!" No it’s not. Look at the apex predators they’re all lazy. Bears hibernate, lions sleep all day, you know who wakes up at 4am and runs? Squirrels" - unknown @acceptthyself

Just registered for IELTS (late September) and this post will serve as public accountability for myself, otherwise I've been very lazy lately and this might spiral further. Target is just at least 7.0 . Not aiming for higher than that at all, as the sole purpose of booking is to register for PhD.. ahh bureacracy! If it didn't have that 2 year expiry date I would use the certificate I attained 4 years ago for lifetime)). Saying overrated in Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan would be an understatement. Cheers! @acceptthyself

📚 Faust, First Part by Goethe - 20/24 Book (2026) This is what I call another absolute cinema. It counts that way only when you read and so immersed in the process that you forget the outside world exists. Must-read. I haven't even started the 2nd book (2nd part) yet here I am seeing the genius of Goethe. This was ahead of its time, the lessons, morale still hold truth from the several books I've read that were published centuries later. "O happy he, who still renews The hope, from Error's deeps to rise forever! That which one does not know, one needs to use; And what one knows, one uses never." Read those lines again. Life forces you to act on incomplete knowledge, what matters is checking the output and refining your next action super fast. Everything is built around it, you act then fail, you learn from that failure and act again. "The fairest stars from Heaven he requireth, From Earth the highest raptures and the best, And all the Near and Far that he desireth Fails to subdue the tumult of his breast." Greed (mostly) and any human wanting in general (or state) never ends, once you satisfy one's desire it instantly births the next one. Be it joy or melancholy, status or peace in simplicity, knowledge or bliss in ignorance, you will never say "This is it, I achieved this or that and it is going to last forever". Exactly what Mephistopheles tried to prove wrong about human nature in Part 1. I can go on and on forever here and I wish I could but I can't spoil too much and ruin the experience for some. The tragedy in the ending tho... the fact that it was based on what Goethe saw in his own life... Period. If you want to see what I've been reading this year, here is my goodreads- goodreads.com/acceptthyself @acceptthyself