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اگزیستانسیال

اگزیستانسیال

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هرکس بدون حضور دیگری / t.me/loyrex

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1:35 / I don't wanna waste another day in a life that will never change. I'm feeling like half a human being, like the rest just fell away. it's all I have, a life that wasn't meant to last but I don't wanna waste your time.

when someone asks what my biggest fear is and I can't say my miserable life, so I just say spiders.

it seems so overwhelming to start the same exact day with exact pains in the ass.

sometimes I wish when a day had finished, I wish it had really finished. like no tomorrow or no another sunrise or other shit. just get finished.

another day another cycle of hatred over everything that has even the smallest connection with me.

1:25 please get it out of my head.

you, and you again hanting me. heavy rain will wash away your shape. and once again I can't feel you. like a knife to my throat, your hysteria out of control.

imagine talking shit behind me and I'm just in my room, blasting some music that literally screams in my ear with the most suicidal lyrics that ever had written.

it's me and my bpd coded music playlists against this cruel world.

3:10 I'll never see you again.

2:09 suicide is in my eyes, blind to your promises of hope. death is the only thought, my mind is fucking black.

never to speak again, this is my last word. never to wake again, this is my last glimpse of this world.

for fuck sake can some risk of dying things happen to me? like a car crashing or idk being stabbed or shot or wtf ever? I don't even care about it anymore just fucking finish this living hell for me.

I even get tired of thinking about ending it.