Basic Fucking Kindness

unscheduled resources, crisis, phone numbers (usa)

"apathy, its actually one of, if not THE, worst aspects of things like depression. see, people see depression and they think "really, really sad" mainly because thats the only part the media shows them, but apathy, thats what will get you in the end, the sadness is mostly a side-effect of the apathy. its not that you CANT do something about your situation, its that you DONT CARE enough to do something about it, which in turn makes you sad and angry that you dont care, which in turn makes the apathy deeper. you dont care about yourself, you dont care about your health, you dont care enough to eat, to go out, to do all the things that might help you in the long run if you did them more. it all culminates in the solid fact that if the cycle of apathy continues, you eventually simply do not care about living, and if it gets really bad, you dont care how it will effect others if you do give up, which is what will eventually cause you to believe that others dont care about you, giving you that tiny push, that voice that goes "it doesnt matter, go ahead" someone with real, actual depression will not be simply sad all the time, they will simply not care or really react to things, they have to consciously make an effort to do things you would simply do practically on automatic"

depression, invisible problems

chronic pain, mental illness, impostor syndrome, body "if your condition stops you from doing something, then it is a disability. if your condition makes it difficult for you to complete a task, then it is a disability. dont let others tell you you "arent disabled enough" and invalidate your experience. if your condition allows you to do something fine but then spend days or weeks in agony reconvering from it, then it is a disability. just because you are "technically able" to do the thing, doesnt mean the consequences arent disabling. also, a disability does not have to be 'everyday' to be a disability. even if you may have weeks or months between flare ups, your disability does not just disappear on the days you feel well. you should not feel guilty over having a 'good' day"

socialization, relationships, boundaries, trauma, abuse "just because i treat you right doesnt mean im the one. im just doing what im supposed to do. fuck. this is the realest shit i've read today. like its ok to feel special to be treated nice but you have to remember that you deserve that. you SHOULD be treated well. dont latch onto someone just because they're doing what should be required. acknowledge it and keep it flowing"

growth, self compassion, art "you'll be surprised by the many talents hidden within you if you gave yourself the permission to be a beginner"

growth "its bigger and scarier and much better for swiming"

rest, digital, mental health "before the internet, you could receive maybe 1 or 2 pieces of bad news per day but now you get to hear everyone's bad news from all over the world, 24/7 and that's not mentally healthy. its important to take some time to shut off the phone, close the laptop, and just find somewhere nice to sit and relax"

guilt, self care "tired of explaining that "i dont have the time" doesnt mean "literally every second of my schedule is accounted for", but rather "im giving as much of myself as im currently able to give""

family, abuse "my therapist told me yesterday: some people (esp family) will choose to remember & recognize only the version of you that they held the most power over, no matter how long its been or how much you've changed"

society, authority figures "i follow my grandmother's rule: its only a lie if they have a right to know"

self care " "fed is best" applies to us non-baby people too if your child will only eat chicken nuggets and yogurt: fed is best if the only meal you had time for was from a drive-thru: fed is best if a frozen pizza is all you could manage to cook in a day: fed is best fast food is still food convenience meals are still food a bowl of cereal or a PB&J is still food feeding ourselves (not to mention children!) can be difficult sometimes, so if you fed yourself today in some way: good job!"

"there is joy and nice things in this world, and if i cannot find one, i will make one. i fucking refuse to live in a bleak and dark, loveless world. i cant stop evil from existing and theres scarce little i can do to comfort the people wounded by it, but i was given hands for making things, and if small comforts are all im capable of, i will fucking make them."

activism "no offense but the internet gives you the most wrong and fucked up idea of helping people because people get mad if you dont care about disasters happening in 72 countries, meanwhile the people in real life that are doing the most good picked one VERY SPECIFIC thing to care about and care about it REALLY HARD"

anxiety, guilt, impostor syndrome "does anyone else get a strong sense of guilt and shame from receiving *positive* attention? yes! i took a seminar on shame once where the trainer told us that compliments often trigger shame in people who have experienced developmental trauma because compliments are discordant with our internal sense of self, causing us to feel as though we have committed deceit"

"advertisers must convince young women that they are in need of constant improvement without threatening young women's views of themselves as intelligent, self-directed, and equal. buzz words like "empowerment," self-determination," and "independence" are sprinkled liberally across their pages. but this seemingly progressive rhetoric is used to sell products and ideas that keep girls doing gender in appropriately feminine ways, leading them to reproduce, rather than challenge, gender hierarchies. an ad for a depilatory cream, for instance, tells girls that they are "unique, determined, and unstoppable," so they should not "settle... for a sandpaper skin." feminist demands for political and economic equality - and the refusal to settle for low-wages, violence, and second-class citizenship - morph into a refusal to settle for less than silky skin. pseudo-feminist language allows young women to believe that they can "empower" themselves at the checkout counter by buying the accountrements of traditional femininity"

feminism, pink capitalism, society, gender roles

growth "you're not too much you're outgrowing all the people and places that try to keep you the same"

anxiety, growth, socialization "accidently spent all my life making sure everyone around me feels comfortable, only to realize i never felt comfortable the whole time"

growth, socialization, abusers "you've changed we're supposed to"