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SPI: hey, you wanna write some bytes out? splork 'em in this register, or gimme the DMA base address, I'll get those sent for you.
I2C: you wake up the SHRINE OF CLOCK STRETCHING. your pockets contain TWO START CONDITIONS, a shovel, and AUTOSTOP. exits are north, south.
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the one software engineer at your company who actually understands the legacy code
