Anticodeguy

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This is my hand I was born with ectrodactyly, or Split-Hand/Foot Malformation I got lucky to win a lottery as 1 in 90,000 births I believe I overcame my physical difference quite well, but I know some people are struggling with being comfortable with themselves Here's what to do --- Ideally, you deal with it when you are 2-4 years old. Obviously, that's not the case anymore, but keep in mind that your brain is still flexible enough to be rewired. That's something we often forget as adults: we can change ourselves drastically, and they won't recognize you. --- Self-confidence is the quality I want everyone to possess. No matter your position in life or on the social ladder, you are unique. Be proud of that, and make it the main theme of your existence. Do not hide from yourself, and don't sweep parts of yourself under the rug. --- I don't think there's a single person in the world who hasn't faced a situation that may change the trajectory of their life. That pivotal moment when you question your decisions. Stick to it, let it be your motivation that lasts, maybe for life, but that's a very powerful "Why". --- Accept reality as it is. I have this hand, fine. I will shake your hand with my claw. I will go outside, loosen my arms, and not use my pockets to hide it. There's no point in hiding from yourself or from anybody else. --- Develop other strengths. I mastered my left hand even though I'm naturally right-handed. Felix Klieser was born without arms and now plays the horn with his feet in major orchestras worldwide. At the end of the day, use your brain to find something you can prevail in. --- I don't think anyone wants to feel themselves not well in any part of their body. So, maintaining it must become the number zero priority from the very beginning of our conscious lives. Especially if you have some flaws with your body. Please, just take care of yourself. --- Find your specialty and excel in it. You have something that drives your curiosity, ignites your internal engine to spin faster and faster. Lean into it, practice, get results, and make your name around it. No matter what everybody says or thinks. --- Build your ideal lifestyle. How do you want to live this life? Answer that question for yourself. And start working towards the goal. Don't let your flaws be a blocker on your path. It is up to you to get rid of them, or simply to take another route. --- “Concentrate on things your disability doesn’t prevent you doing well, and don’t regret the things it interferes with. Don’t be disabled in spirit as well as physically.” We don't worship Stephen Hawking because of his disabilities, but because of his remarkable impact in science --- I don’t have all the answers. I’m still figuring things out like everyone else on this planet. But I know this with absolute certainty: whatever physical flaw you’re dealing with, it doesn’t get to decide your future. You do. --- Watch my video on the topic Read the article

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If you’ve got physical flaws you’re ashamed of — my next article and posts will change everything for you. This is my coming-out. A milestone moment. A confession that should have happened years ago. It’s far too easy to hide behind the screen, maintaining some perfectly curated image that doesn’t match reality. To conceal your flaws, only showcasing life’s highlight reel on social media. We all know this pattern — and yet it continues feeding our deepest insecurities. That gnawing feeling that whispers: “I’m not enough,” while they — they seem to have it all: better life, better body, more money, living somewhere amazing. Do you feel this? This constant comparison that leaves you feeling somehow less than? And it all stems from deep insecurity. Because the truth is — I deserve all that too. And I can get it if I put in the work. So can you. Here’s the cold reality: 32.9% of adults with disabilities report frequent mental distress compared to just 7.2% of those without disabilities. That’s not a small gap. But today I want to talk specifically about physical flaws. The kind you can’t fix with mindset exercises, therapy sessions, or daily journaling. So, this is my right hand on the picture. I was born with a defect in my right hand — called Split-Hand/Foot Malformation (SHFM), or ectrodactyly. And no matter how many self-esteem techniques I practice, how much I believe in myself, or what mental gymnastics I attempt — my fingers aren’t growing back, my arm’s not getting longer, and my body isn’t magically transforming. This calls for a completely different approach. The Mental Transformation You Missed Ideally, the mental rewiring we’re about to explore should have happened in your head when you were two to four years old. That’s when your brain was infinitely plastic — open, flexible, ready to adapt to anything. But for whatever reason, you missed that window. So now we need to do this work as adults. And this is significantly harder now. Your brain isn’t that malleable anymore. It’s loaded with memories, thoughts, neural pathways that have hardened over time. Every new belief you try to install has to punch through years of mental concrete. But it’s not impossible. Your brain remains flexible enough to change — if you approach it correctly and persistently. You can make an incredible comeback in your life.

Living in the Present Moment As mentioned earlier, our consciousness always processes information with a slight delay. What we perceive as “now” is actually information that’s already been processed by our brain – we literally live a few milliseconds in the past. Understanding this neurological reality can actually help us let go of excessive concern with both past and future. Since our “now” is inherently brief and ever-moving, dwelling extensively on past events or future worries makes little sense. We can only ever act in the present moment, even though that moment is constantly updating. Living in the present doesn’t mean ignoring the past or failing to plan for the future. It means engaging fully with whatever you’re experiencing right now, rather than being mentally elsewhere. It means savoring your coffee rather than drinking it while ruminating about yesterday’s argument. It means truly listening to a friend rather than planning what you’ll say next. Neurologically, present-moment awareness activates different brain regions than those involved in rumination and worry. Research shows that when people are fully engaged in the present, the default mode network (associated with mind-wandering and unhappiness) becomes less active, while areas associated with sensory processing and attention become more active. Feel The Moment One practical approach to present-moment living is to regularly engage your senses fully. Take a moment right now to notice five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This simple exercise immediately anchors you in the present and interrupts rumination. Another technique is to recognize that your perceptions and thoughts are interpretations rather than objective reality. When you find yourself upset about something, ask: “Is this the only way to see this situation? What other perspectives might be possible?” This creates cognitive flexibility and prevents being trapped in negative interpretations. Remember that happiness isn’t found by escaping the present through fantasies about the past or future. It’s found by engaging fully with what is, appreciating the richness of each moment even when it contains difficulty. As the poet Rumi wrote,

“The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore.”

By choosing where to direct your attention in the present, you shape your experience of happiness.

Cosmic Perspective: The Power of Zooming Out Another technique that profoundly affects my happiness is what I call “cosmic perspective” – mentally zooming out to view situations from increasingly distant vantage points. When facing a problem that feels overwhelming, I imagine seeing myself from different heights – first from a drone hovering above, then from satellite view, then from the moon, and eventually from the perspective of our galaxy or beyond. With each step back, my problems appear increasingly tiny in the grand scheme. This might seem like escapism. But it’s a practical technique for gaining perspective on life’s challenges. From cosmic distance, most daily concerns that trigger stress or unhappiness appear vanishingly small. The presentation that didn’t go well, the critical comment from a colleague, the traffic jam that made you late – when viewed from space, these events lose their power to disturb your peace. Research supports this approach. Studies on awe – the emotion felt when encountering vastness – show it increases positive mood and prosocial feelings while diminishing obsessive worry about oneself. When people contemplate the cosmos or other vast entities, they report feeling both smaller and more connected to something larger, which paradoxically enhances well-being. This technique works even for genuinely significant problems. While it doesn’t make challenges disappear, it helps place them in context and reduce their emotional charge. It reminds us that even our biggest problems are temporary and limited in cosmic scope. Try this: Next time you feel upset about something, mentally zoom out. Imagine seeing yourself from 10 feet up, then 100 feet, then from airplane height, satellite view, lunar distance, and beyond. Notice how your perspective shifts with each step back.

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Most people chase dopamine hits from external experiences. Harvard research shows a wandering mind is an unhappy mind - people spend 47% of their time mind-wandering. Here are some practical techniques for lasting contentment: --- Meditation physically changes your brain, increasing gray matter in areas related to emotional regulation. I've practiced various forms for years and consider it essential for my well-being. Start with 5-10 mins of breath focus daily. That's it. --- Next time you're angry or stressed, try this: Mentally step back and observe "this body is feeling angry" rather than being completely identified with the anger This tiny gap between stimulus and response is where emotional freedom lives Use this daily in stressful situations --- Cosmic perspective technique changed everything for me. When facing a problem, mentally zoom out - see yourself from above, then satellite view, then from space. With each step back, problems appear increasingly tiny. Research confirms this reduces obsessive worry. --- Living in the present isn't some hippie concept. Our "now" is inherently brief and ever-moving, making extensive dwelling on past events or future worries neurologically nonsensical. Yet we spend almost half our lives mentally elsewhere. True presence is a trainable skill. --- Try this: Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This simple exercise immediately anchors you in the present and interrupts the mind-wandering that makes us unhappy. --- "Fake it till you make it" sounds contrived, but neuroscience confirms it works. Your brain physically changes based on repeated thought patterns. In childhood, I deliberately chose positivity. It felt artificial at first. After thousands of repetitions, it became my default. --- The Harvard Study of Adult Development tracked participants for 80+ years and found one thing: Good relationships are the strongest predictor of happiness and longevity. Not wealth, not fame, not achievement. Strong social connections matter most. --- Happiness is literally contagious through social networks. If a direct friend is happy, your likelihood of happiness increases by 15%. This extends three degrees - a friend of a friend of a friend being happy still influences you. Choose your circle wisely. --- Implementation framework for busy people: 1. Daily practice: 5-10 mins meditation 2. Weekly perspective shifts: Practice cosmic zooming 3. Present-moment reminders on your phone 4. Social connection: Quality time with positive people --- My relationship with happiness continues to evolve. What makes me happy today isn't identical to years ago. The paradox: when I focus less on "being happy" and more on living authentically, happiness arises naturally. It's not something you pursue but something you embody. --- Here're the the whole series of articles about happiness: 1. Why Dopamine Isn’t Enough 2. The Inner Path to Contentment 3. Practical Techniques for Lasting Contentment

In case you didn't know: 1. YouTube video descriptions recognize some markdown syntax, for example *bold* text 2. To make clickable chapters, just map them in the description like this: 00:00 CHAPTER (with a space between) and save the description

Mental Training: Meditation and Mindfulness

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”

– Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor & Stoic philosopher, Meditations Of all the practices I’ve explored for developing happiness, meditation stands out as perhaps the most powerful. It’s been part of my life in various forms for many years, and I consider it one of the essential tools that help me maintain a sense of well-being. Meditation helps you train awareness and develop a different relationship with your thoughts and feelings. By regularly observing your mind without attachment, you gradually gain freedom from its automatic patterns. Scientific research strongly supports meditation’s benefits. Studies show it reduces stress, improves mood, and even physically changes the brain, increasing gray matter in areas related to emotional regulation. A meta-analysis of 39 studies found mindfulness-based therapy effective in enhancing well-being and reducing depression relapse. If you’re new to meditation, start with a simple practice: sit comfortably, focus on your breath, and when your mind wanders (which it will), gently bring attention back to breathing. Even 5-10 minutes daily builds the mental muscle that allows you to observe thoughts rather than being controlled by them. This observational skill is crucial for happiness because it creates space between stimulus and response. When something potentially upsetting occurs, meditation training helps you notice your automatic reactions before acting on them. This tiny gap is where freedom lives – the freedom to choose your response rather than reacting unconsciously. Be Mindful Mindfulness extends meditation into daily life. It means being fully present with whatever you’re doing – eating, walking, talking, working – rather than being lost in thoughts about past or future. Harvard research using smartphone sampling found people spend roughly 47% of their time mind-wandering, and crucially, “a wandering mind is an unhappy mind.” Focusing on the present moment was associated with significantly greater happiness. One mindfulness technique I particularly value is what I call the “observer perspective.” This involves mentally stepping back and watching your experience as if you were a neutral observer rather than being fully identified with it. Imagine watching yourself in a movie or video game – seeing your body, emotions, and thoughts from a slight distance. This practice helps detach from overwhelming emotions and gain perspective. When I feel strongly reactive to a situation, I mentally step back and observe “this body is feeling angry” rather than being completely identified with the anger. This subtle shift creates freedom and choice where there previously seemed to be none. Try this: Next time you feel a strong emotion, mentally step back and observe it with curiosity rather than judgment. Notice physical sensations, thoughts, and the urge to react. Just by observing without immediate action, you’ll often find the emotion’s grip loosening.

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Happiness as a Choice: The Power of Perspective

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.”

– Aristotle, 4th century BCE Greek philosopher, Nicomachean Ethics Here’s perhaps the most radical idea I’ve discovered about happiness: it’s something I choose to feel or not feel. It’s something I control. This might sound strange at first. After all, emotions often seem to happen to us rather than being chosen by us. When something unpleasant occurs, we feel bad. When something pleasant happens, we feel good. How can happiness be a choice if our emotions seem largely reactive? The answer lies in understanding the gap between events and our interpretation of them. While we can’t always control what happens to us, we can control how we respond to it. This is about recognizing that our reactions are shaped by mental patterns we can gradually reshape. Modern psychology strongly supports this view. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, one of the most effective psychological treatments, is based on the principle that our thoughts create our emotions. By changing how we think about situations, we can change how we feel about them. Research shows this approach works. Studies find that cognitive reframing techniques can significantly reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety while increasing reported happiness. One landmark study found that intentional activities like cognitive exercises, acts of kindness, and mindfulness account for about 40% of variance in happiness, compared to only about 10% from life circumstances. Consider a simple example: your boss yells at you. This is objectively unpleasant, but your reaction to it isn’t predetermined. You might take it personally and feel devastated. You might get angry and defensive. Or you might recognize that your boss’s behavior likely has more to do with their own stress than with you – perhaps they’re struggling with a conflict with their superior or dealing with personal problems.

Most people chase dopamine hits and wonder why happiness vanishes when the high fades. Looking beyond external euphoria to find sustainable contentment is the key to lasting happiness: --- That rush from a new purchase or achievement is designed to fade quickly so you'll seek more. Research confirms there's a fundamental difference between hedonic pleasure (external) and eudaimonic well-being (internal). One depletes you. The other sustains you. --- Look at the happiest people you know. They aren't necessarily the wealthiest or most accomplished. They possess something else entirely - inner peace, gratitude, purpose, healthy relationships. Their contentment comes from how they relate to life, not what they possess. --- Harvard tracked participants for 80+ years and found good relationships keep us happier and healthier far more reliably than wealth or fame. Once basic needs are met ($75k in the US), additional money yields diminishing returns on emotional well-being. The rest is internal work. --- My periods of greatest "success" didn't always correlate with happiness. Sometimes achieving goals I'd worked toward for years left me strangely empty once the initial excitement faded. But simple times when I was aligned with my values and fully present are different. --- There's no universal formula for happiness. Just as each person's consciousness is unique, so is their path to contentment. This is why you must discover your own definition rather than adopting someone else's. Study various philosophies, but write your own manual. --- Try this: Write down in plain language what your state is when you feel truly happy. For me it's "feeling that all is well," "moving in the right direction," "overcoming obstacles," and "being aligned with my values." Your phrases will be different. That's the point. --- The most radical truth about happiness: it's something we choose. While we can't control what happens to us, we can control how we respond. Cognitive science confirms this - our thoughts create our emotions. By changing how we think about situations, we change how we feel. --- When my manager once called me into the stairwell to yell at me, I didn't get defensive or upset. I recognized his anger wasn't about me - it was displaced from other conflicts. I listened calmly, asked if he was finished, and moved on with my day. Inner peace protected. --- This perspective shift isn't about suppressing emotions or denying reality. It's developing awareness of how our interpretations shape our emotional experience. With practice, what begins as conscious effort eventually becomes your default mode of perception. --- Happiness is contagious. Research shows if a direct friend is happy, your chances of happiness increase by about 15%. Even the happiness of friends-of-friends influences your emotional state. Surround yourself with positive people - it literally changes your brain. --- True contentment isn't euphoria 24/7. That's neither sustainable nor desirable. The goal is establishing a positive baseline with fewer dips into negativity and more peaks of joy. Creating value while maintaining inner peace - this integrated approach feels most complete. --- The full article on happiness (the second in the series): https://anticodeguy.substack.com/p/the-science-and-philosophy-of-happiness-5ff?r=1m5hbt

True story

Every time before hitting the Record button, I record a small sample to test my video and audio and make sure that everything is okay. And of course, one time when I forgot to do so, I recorded the entire session without sound... Sod’s Law in action.

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Defining Your Own Happiness: The Personal Journey

“One is happy as a result of one’s own efforts – once one knows the necessary ingredients of happiness: simple tastes, a certain degree of courage, self-denial to a point, love of work, and above all, a clear conscience.”

– George Sand (Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin), French novelist If happiness is primarily internal and unique to each individual, then an obvious question follows: how do you define happiness for yourself? Various religions and philosophical traditions have attempted to answer this question for millennia. Some say happiness comes from love – loving yourself and others. Some claim it resides within each person and emerges when one’s soul is pure. Others propose it comes from surrender, service, or detachment. These diverse perspectives highlight an important truth: there can be no universal formula for happiness that works for everyone. Just as each person’s consciousness is unique, so too is their path to happiness. This is precisely why you must discover your own definition rather than adopting someone else’s. This might not be what you wanted to hear. Perhaps you were hoping for a simple, step-by-step formula that guarantees happiness. But such a formula cannot exist, precisely because of the individual nature of consciousness we discussed in the first article. Your unique neural pathways, life experiences, and psychological makeup mean that your happiness will look different from anyone else’s. Buddhism perhaps comes closest to acknowledging this reality by directing practitioners inward to find their own answers. Rather than providing external dogma, it encourages self-exploration and personal insight. This approach recognizes that while teachers can point the way, each person must walk their own path. I recommend studying various philosophies, religious traditions, and happiness research to gather a holistic picture. Look at how different cultures and individuals throughout history have conceived of happiness. Don’t limit yourself to one tradition or perspective – the more diverse your exploration, the richer your understanding will be.

The Chemistry Behind Your Happiness Neurochemicals play a critical role in regulating our conscious states, particularly dopamine – often mistakenly called the “happiness molecule.” In reality, dopamine is better described as the “molecule of more” or the “wanting molecule.” It’s not about contentment but about desire and anticipation. This distinction is crucial. Dopamine surges when something beneficial for our survival occurs, driving us to repeat behaviors that promote survival and reproduction. Evolution designed this system brilliantly – activities essential for our species’ continuation (like sex) trigger dopamine release, creating a powerful reinforcement loop. During orgasm, for instance, dopamine levels spike dramatically – an evolutionary mechanism ensuring reproductive behavior continues. Studies show that sexual activity causes approximately a 100% increase in baseline dopamine, while substances like cocaine can cause a 250% increase, and methamphetamine an astounding 1000% increase. These numbers represent the hijacking of a system designed for survival. Nature programmed these mechanisms for a specific purpose – to help us thrive and propagate. Our brain’s reward system evolved to encourage behaviors that promote survival, not to make us perpetually happy. This creates an interesting paradox: the very system that gives us moments of pleasure isn’t designed for sustained contentment.

“Dopamine is not about the happiness of reward. It’s about the happiness of pursuit.”

– Dr. Robert Sapolsky, Stanford neuroscientist and primatologist, Behave (2017)

The first fellas I wished good morning to today

Why Your Brain Experiences Happiness Like No One Else’s Each of us walks through life with a consciousness shaped by every moment we’ve experienced since birth. Even identical twins born in the same hospital develop different neural patterns because they physically occupy different spaces, see slightly different things, and process these inputs through an already-developing unique filter. Think about it – from the moment we’re born, our sensory receptors begin absorbing information that’s instantly recorded in our brain and subconscious. This information is later interpreted by our conscious mind, creating an entirely unique internal world. The question of exactly when consciousness emerges is fascinating in itself, but what’s clear is that each person’s consciousness develops through a completely individualized set of inputs. I discussed this concept more deeply in my article about unlocking your brain’s hidden superpower, where I explained how our receptors influence our perception of reality. The techniques I shared there have transformed my daily experience, and I strongly recommend exploring them. This individuality extends to our physiological makeup too. Our hormonal and neurotransmitter systems function differently from person to person. What triggers dopamine release in one brain might produce a completely different response in another. Our receptors respond uniquely to various stimuli, creating individualized patterns of reaction to identical situations. The research confirms this biological diversity. Studies on twins show that even with identical DNA, environmental factors create significant differences in how their brains process emotions. Brain imaging reveals that when presented with the same emotional stimuli, no two people show precisely the same neural activation patterns. This understanding is crucial for happiness because it means we must each discover our own path. No matter how similar we might seem to others in personality or background, our internal experiences remain distinctly our own. This is why generic happiness advice often falls flat – it fails to account for neurological uniqueness. So when we talk about happiness, we’re not talking about a universal emotion that everyone experiences identically. We’re talking about billions of unique versions of a feeling, each valid and real to the person experiencing it. Now, to understand how these unique brains process happiness, we need to look at what’s happening on a neurochemical level.