“The true measure of how developed one’s soul is and how integrated and embodied we are is mirrored by how we react to everyday circumstances.
It shows itself in our emotional reactions (or dissociation, numbness, suppression) and how easily we get triggered. Thus, we blame others and external conditions or project our unconscious shadow onto others.
The point of spiritual, psychological, and somatic work is not about eliminating challenges (even though they might be alleviated to some degree) but rather about how we change and transform by facing life directly and use any challenge to bring forth the true Self and bring us closer to God.
Thus, we become less identified with ego structure, more “objective” about ourselves and the world (we stop lying to ourselves or keep blaming the external world) and face any challenge with full self-responsibility and empowerment.
This process is also the gateway to real Love. Childish and immature love is conditional and demands attention and validation from others.
If it doesn’t get what it wants, it blames others for it or itself for not “being good enough,” getting stuck in self-pity, poor-me, shame, self-importance, entitlement, and narcissism.
Mature higher love is unconditional, takes self-responsibility, and loves even if it doesn’t get what it wants or prefers. We all have the immature child within us, acting out at various times. In fact, most adults are children in adult suits.
If we can spot it, it’s a chance to heal this wounded child, which can also relate to past life trauma and not necessarily relate to your current childhood in your present lifetime.
This [inner] child needs to experience, express, and feel repressed emotions such as sadness, fear, anger, guilt, shame, etc., without projecting them externally or suppressing them.
This process needs to happen somatically—through the body. You cannot think yourself through it, as this only results in more self-deception. Intellectual recognition of your “issues” is not enough and is only the beginning of a much deeper emotional and somatic inner process.
In fact, your intellect can fool you into thinking that you are doing “self-work,” but you can waste many years of intellectualizing the process. Moreover, there is only so much self-work you can do by yourself.”
-Bernhard Guenther
Episode 97, Part 2 – 12 Signs You Have A Wounded Inner Child and How to Heal
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