𝓕𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓷 𝓓𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓼

"Marianne had the sense that her real life was happening somewhere very far away, happening without her, and she didn't know if she would ever find out where it was or become part of it." – Normal People by Sally Rooney

I have always been caught between two dots the first breath and the last, the birth of light and its quiet surrender into dark. Between the crown and the exile, between being seen by everyone and disappearing completely. I keep finding myself between roads I recognize and roads that know nothing of me. I lose my nights to dreams and my days to sleep, while the voices outside me and the voices within me never seem to rest. So sometimes I shut down. I become a dark room with a moon shaped window, a lost child on a ship too vast to steer. Sometimes I want to leave it all step into the ocean and let the waves swallow every question. But no keep the ship moving. Keep the lanterns burning. Keep the music playing. Because somewhere beneath it all, there is still a girl who would dance on the deck at three in the morning, barefoot beneath a dying moon, if no one were watching. And sometimes I wonder is there anyone who would stay to watch? Perhaps that is all I am: a trembling space between two dots, between becoming and disappearing, while the ship keeps sinking and somehow somewhere against all reason, against all sorrow, I am still dancing.

Between two dots