Existential Comics

"We can always kill ourselves later."

"Then again this tastes pretty good, so..."

"Yes, life is suffering, but it is still worth living because sometimes you get to make children cry, and that's pretty funny."

Similar to Peter Singer's drowning child thought experiment, for Utilitarians there is nothing more special about saving one life over another, so theoretically if it would take more effort to save Timmy than it would to save lives across the world by raising money, they should do that instead (people may be tempted to point out that they can simple do both, but no, WRONG, Timmy must die).

"You wouldn't believe it, but according to my research you can cause the most net happiness by taking dogs to the park."

Under communism, you won't be able to own an idea. If you steal other people's ideas you will still be widely regarded as a loser, however.

"I don't understand, if ever increasing consumption is leading to the destruction of your own planet, why don't you just reduce consumption?" "Because then the investors would lose money. It's like you aren't even reading the charts."