nessnote

posting here is like a cigarette break

mom thinks i'm dating someone and now i can't even go छत pe

the voice change is diabolical

my taste in men has been so consistently bad.

my taste in men has been so consistently bad man.

consumerism is going to kill us

consumerism is going to kill us

लखनऊ जाना है

i've been thinking about this vacation lately now that there are only twenty days left. may disappeared before i even noticed it. i don't remember much from it except my phone screen. i wasn't reading, i wasn't watching films, i wasn't doing anything that would leave something behind. i'd wake up, scroll for hours, eat, sleep, and tried to convince myself that the next day would be different. there were days i didn't even cross five hundred steps. it's strange how easily a person can become used to doing nothing. but thankfully june was different. i wasn't productive in the usual sense. i barely read anything because i was with my family most of the time but i don't think i wasted june. i laughed more than i had in months, i spent time with people i don't get to see often, had dher saare aam. at one point i caught myself thinking last year's june had been better because of someone who isn't even here anymore but that’s foolish. i don't know why i keep giving memories more credit than the life i'm actually living. so now there are twenty days left. i've started reading great expectations. also i will try to move around a bit. six thousand steps sounds reasonable. i thought about running but i guess not (not athletic enough sori). walking anyways feels more like thinking. i think that's all i'm trying to do before college starts again.